Sweet Home Alabama (2002)

Matt (00:00:20):

Hey, this is 1-Week Rental and we have spent the past week with Sweet Home Alabama down here in the South. I am Matt Stokes.

Laci (00:00:29):

And I am Laci Roth.

Matt (00:00:30):

We’re coming to you from New Orleans, Louisiana. We don’t often say where we are, but-

Laci (00:00:34):

Yeah, we don’t want you to get it twisted. We are not in Alabama.

Matt (00:00:37):

Not in

Laci (00:00:37):

1. Nor do we celebrate our redneckery. We don’t ever mean to have any rednecks.

Matt (00:00:44):

That said, we do have some Confederate reenactors here in the garage with us as we record, but they’re going to not fire their muskets. We told them, “Keep it down, Colonel. Keep

Laci (00:00:53):

It

Matt (00:00:53):

Down,

Laci (00:00:53):

Colonel.” And promise to lose again.

Matt (00:00:56):

We love rom-coms. If you’re following along with us, we love our romantic comedies. Love winner. When two movie stars-

Laci (00:01:02):

Just have a whole bunch of chemistry and yeah, it’s an expected plot, but it’s being driven along by things you like to look at. Exactly. We’re not so up our own asses that we can’t enjoy simple things.

Matt (00:01:16):

The thrill of two actors having chemistry with each other. There’s really nothing like it. You cannot recreate it any other way. If I had a genie, if I rubbed a lamp and a genie came out and said, “What would you like, Matt? Give me a sweet home Alabama at the box office every weekend, please.” Doesn’t have to be anything bigger or better or more special than Sweet Home Alabama. And everybody goes out to the movie theater to see it every weekend. I would die a happy man. This is all I want. The genie could offer me additional wishes and I would say, “That’s all I want. Nothing else, please.” That being said, I don’t like Sweet Home Alabama very much. I did not enjoy Sweet Home Alabama watching it for this podcast. Had you ever seen it before?

Laci (00:01:53):

Yeah, this is probably my fourth time.

Matt (00:01:55):

Really?

Laci (00:01:56):

Yeah. Oh, I didn’t know that. I really like Reese Witherspoon and this movie’s just easy. I mean, it just kind of pops in your life. I don’t know how it was that I used to watch movies several times, but then I discovered YouTube and now I don’t have to fill my days with just watching another movie the fourth time.You

Matt (00:02:17):

Were so much better off.

Laci (00:02:20):

I don’t know what would … Oh, let me grab … Out of my thousands of movies on the wall, why would I go for Swethehome Alabama multiple times? I couldn’t. That’s just what’s weird about it. I don’t know why, because I don’t think I would’ve taken an active role in putting it on again. But once it’s on, I’m watching. Yeah.

Matt (00:02:35):

Back then you didn’t decide. You just sat down what’s on the tube. I just don’t remember.

Laci (00:02:39):

Scroll

Matt (00:02:39):

Through the channels and there’s Sweet Home Alabama. Oh, this is the scene where the lady has the baby at the bar.

Laci (00:02:44):

I don’t think so. I don’t think this was on any channel I would’ve had. No, this is something I bought on DVD and watched it that way. So you’re wrong.

Matt (00:02:53):

And a huge, huge hit. And when I’m watching the movie, which again, I’ve never seen before, had never had any desire to see it, I realized I must have seen this trailer 10 million times because every line in the movie is like, that’s in the trailer. That’s in the trailer, trailer line, shower line. You have a Baby and a bar. In a

Laci (00:03:08):

Bar. What year did this come out?

Matt (00:03:10):

2002.

Laci (00:03:11):

The follow-up to Legally Blonde.

Matt (00:03:13):

Yes. And we wanted to dive into Reese Witherspoon, who I find fascinating as a figure. She’s somebody we’ve covered multiple times on this show, but I really wanted to dig into her career and the turn she took into being a business tycoon. And I think you can even see it in this movie in the mere fact of this movie’s existence. And even in the character she’s playing. And then I thought, oh, I see a through line between Tracy Flick.

Laci (00:03:37):

Yeah.

Matt (00:03:37):

Ell Woods.

Laci (00:03:38):

Ellewoods. Yep.

Matt (00:03:39):

Melanie Carmichael.

Laci (00:03:41):

Even the girl she plays in Cruel Intentions. She’s not of that class. She’s a

Matt (00:03:47):

Striver.

Laci (00:03:48):

But she’ll make little faces and she’ll make you comfortable. She’s folksy, but that’s okay. She’s still hot as shit. Therefore, can fit into the different places.

Matt (00:03:59):

We love Reese Witherspoon, okay? We love her as an actress and I called her the female rock recently. She’s female Dwayne Johnson. And I think that after really studying her business career, I think that really, really holds.

Laci (00:04:12):

Okay.

Matt (00:04:12):

What do I mean when I say the female Dwayne Johnson? We will explain in the history segment. We’re going to say a few negative things about Reese Witherspoon. It

Laci (00:04:20):

Doesn’t mean

Matt (00:04:21):

We don’t like her.

Laci (00:04:22):

People are multifaceted.

Matt (00:04:23):

As a person, or more importantly, just as a presence on screen, I think she’s great. I

Laci (00:04:28):

Think she adds to whatever she’s in.

Matt (00:04:31):

And the reviews for this movie were all like noth about this movie works, but she’s so good. You’re just like, whatever. I’m watching this movie. Take my money. You just surrendered to her power in this movie. And I think Josh Lucas and Patrick Dempsey also pretty like, yeah, take my money. It’s fine.

Laci (00:04:48):

Well, and I never remember it. Giovanni, help me. Jilly Ray. Ethan

Matt (00:04:54):

Embry?

Laci (00:04:55):

Ethan Embry. God, but he looks like that. I always confuse him with the other actor. With

Matt (00:04:59):

Giovanni Ribisi?

Laci (00:05:00):

Yes. I don’t know why.What a comparison. Because they played very similar types of characters at the same time in the 90s. Sorry. But yeah, Ethan Embry, he’s precious in this. And then the two moms are awesome. Plus the third mom of Candace Borgen, what is her name?

Matt (00:05:17):

Candace

Laci (00:05:17):

Bergen. Yeah. Ben Bergen. The three moms they give you, they’re all good in different ways. That’s the other thing. There’s such great supporting cast in this.

Matt (00:05:24):

This is just such a regular movie that we used to just get all the time of just faces and character actors, Jean Smart, Candace Bergen. They’re just on your screen. Look at them. And like I said, I would weep for joy if movies like this came out now.

Laci (00:05:36):

I do not remember so much reveling in the … Look, here’s a Confederate flag. Here’s a Confederate flag. The South rises again. On the one hand, I’m like, well, at least they made a movie about Alabama that is being honest about what they say and do.

Matt (00:05:52):

Not honest enough.

Laci (00:05:53):

Right, right. But then a gay black man comes to town and looks at Bobby Ray like, and that’s totally fine.You’re telling me you’re going to be welcoming. I know,

Matt (00:06:03):

But all of that also is part of the calculated, how can we make this

Laci (00:06:07):

Appeal to

Matt (00:06:08):

Everyone?

Laci (00:06:09):

I know. And I feel like, I mean this is, and I told you that last week that as soon as I saw the previews to this movie, I was annoyed because I knew I would like it. I knew I’d go see it and I knew it was like so researched. I don’t know how you can just tell from a preview that it’s going to hit every single little point. It feels like a cheat code this movie had and I could tell before I watched it and then I watch it in a fall for it again.

Matt (00:06:37):

Because we’re going to watch that trailer because that trailer shows everything that happens in the movie. Again, it’s the movie saying, “Fuck you, you’re going to see me. You’re going to pay over your money, you piggy.” And you do. And I do. Yo roll over, scratch my belly. I don’t care. It’s fascinating. It really is.

Laci (00:06:54):

Really? Listen- How dare you get me what I want.

Matt (00:06:57):

So we’re going to get into all of that. We wanted to pick a movie that really represented West Rutherfoon and it was between that and Legally Blonde. And I think Legally Blonde is just more high concept and more … I mean, it’s like a certified classic and people are like, “Oh, she should have won an Oscar for that role probably.” Whereas this premise comes straight out of a Hollywood screenwriting textbook.

Laci (00:07:20):

Oh yeah. A hometown girl, no. A little lady goes to the big city and starts a new life for herself but is embarrassed by her roots. But wouldn’t you know it, she’s married to someone still and has to go back down there and physically in person to get a divorce. There’s no way around it. It’s just like, okay, come … You guys are getting on airplanes way too easy.

Matt (00:07:44):

And I enjoyed myself and I laughed really hard one time and was so mad that the movie made me laugh that hard. But the reason I was annoyed with it is because I saw things in the movie where it’s like, if you explored that right there, you’d have a way more interesting movie, but the movie just wants to be so bland and offensive and free of friction or any sort of tension.

Laci (00:08:04):

I mean, and what a charmed fucking life she has, right? She does get to have it all. She does get to still have her roots and be respected and loved for who she is while she’s in Alabama, but doesn’t lose any of her prestige now that the truth is out about her. I feel like if all of this shit came out about someone slightly famous, you’d be embarrassed. It’d be a thing. But no, your fancy friends love you so much that they’re going to help you with your Alabama wedding and-

Matt (00:08:38):

Or that there would be actual tension in Alabama with these people. These people would hate you. You left us. You think you’re so much better than us. But they’re like, “Melanie, ow.” Melanie Carmichael and she invented the … The character made up that name. Her real name isn’t Carmichael. That’s kind of clever because it sounds like a fake movie name. I’m Melanie Carter. Nobody’s named that. Come on.

Laci (00:09:00):

I guess it’s a debutante name. That’s why it sounds so right.

Matt (00:09:04):

But her real name is Melanie Smooter.

Laci (00:09:05):

Which is so fucking embarrassing, which it sounds like a trailer. All

Matt (00:09:10):

Right. Going to get into the history of Sweetheart, Alabama and then Reese Witherspoon herself. If you’re watching on YouTube after all the history stuff, we’re going to discuss the movie itself, but you can only get that part by subscribing to the podcast. If you’re listening to the podcast, just keep listening. History segment, here we go. We have talked about race for this room a lot. See Pleasantville, episode 88. Cruel intentions episode 112. Election episode 135, American Psycho episode 156, but really going to burrow in on her as a figure. How she kind of moved away from being an actress in movies and became just a full-time mogul and she’s the world’s richest actress, but that’s largely not because of her acting. It’s because of her kind of evil business ventures. We’ll get into all of

Laci (00:10:21):

This. Okay. I can’t wait to hear how they’re evil.

Matt (00:10:23):

In a very boring way.

Laci (00:10:24):

All right.

Matt (00:10:25):

Laura Jane Reese with her spoon, born in New Orleans in 1976. Born in the same hospital as our son. Laci and I, we are based in New Orleans, Louisiana, everyone. We are children of the South. We’ve lived in the South our whole lives. Southern pride is what we always say

Laci (00:10:42):

About- Okay. No. No, we don’t.

Matt (00:10:45):

Reese Witherspoon was … Well, she’s 50 years old right now. She was 25 when she made Sweet Home Alabama. Her father was an army officer and a surgeon. Her mom, a PhD. She is not the hillbilly bumpkin character she portrays in the movie. She’s also not Tracy Flick. When we watched election and check out our election episode, it’s very good, I think. We noted the key thing about Tracy Flick is like her mom is like this I’m terrified my daughter’s going to have to live a poor life like I lived. And so you have to work your ass off. And that’s just at the very edges of the movie is this desperation to climb above your station. But Reese is not that. She was born into the ultimate comfort, but born into like the sort of upper middle class destined to go to the best schools and work my ass off and be a CEO one

Laci (00:11:36):

Day. I mean, New Orleans does not contain the best schools, but if they had them.

Matt (00:11:40):

To the best … I mean, she grew up in Nashville, but

(00:11:43):

I mean, her mom’s a PhD, her dad’s literally a surgeon, so you’re going to do the best of the … And she went to Stanford. Her mom already got into Stanford. This is from a Reader’s Digest interview of Reese Witherspoon in 2005. The interviewer asks, “You’ve described yourself as being sort of dorky when you were a kid.” She says, “I wore big Coke bottle glasses and I was the shrimp of the class, the last to develop, which is so hard as a girl. Do you think you’re smart?” I’m so stupid in some ways. Sometimes I don’t get the most obvious jokes, but I think I’m savvy. Like with comedy, I’m not intellectual. My dad is. He uses the words that no one can possibly understand nor care to look up. I’m more emotionally intelligent. I can intuit people’s behavior and their feelings. That’s what I do for a living.

(00:12:27):

Interviewer. Do you want people to look back and say, “She’s really funny or she was really funny?” With a spoon. It’s so important to me. I mean, you play to your strengths and to me, that’s one of the only things I’ve got, the interviewer. She’s saying, I

Laci (00:12:39):

Don’t think her as a comedian. I like that she cares about being funny.

Matt (00:12:43):

And she’s very funny, but this interviewer is like, “Come on. Have you seen yourself? Have you seen cruel intentions? My God.

Laci (00:12:48):

You’re fucking gorgeous. What are you doing?”

Matt (00:12:50):

And she says, “I’m really serious. I mean, if I’m going to make it in this business, I’m not going to make it on being sexy. It’s just not who I am. It’s better to focus on what you’re good at. Celebrate yourself, but know that playing the Kathleen Turner character in Body Heat, it’s just not going to happen for me. ” It’s

Laci (00:13:05):

Interesting.

Matt (00:13:06):

It’s fascinating because of when that is in her career. She’s maybe not even 30 when she gives that interview and she is thinking, how can I make this long term?

Laci (00:13:16):

Yeah, well that, but also I think that’s interesting that she just isn’t comfortable being a sex kitten, which was just a weird thing that she has in common with the rock that I didn’t expect, that she doesn’t think of herself as sexual. And she’s got chemistry and she’s hot as shit in cruel intentions. But yeah, when I think about it, she’s just kind of classically beautiful. She doesn’t really have to try. She’s always got really cute outfits and really great style, but I wouldn’t call it sexy.

Matt (00:13:44):

It’s sexy.

Laci (00:13:46):

But not when other people like Jennifer love Hewitt, for instance, to lean into how sexy they are. That’s more their thing. Or

Matt (00:13:53):

Thinking of cruel intentions

Laci (00:13:54):

And comparing

Matt (00:13:54):

Her to Sarah Michelle

Laci (00:13:55):

Gellick in

Matt (00:13:56):

The movie.

Laci (00:13:56):

Yes. Or even Alicia Silverstone and Clueless, when I think of that as the most thing in common with Legally Blonde, for whatever reason, I pair those and Alicia Silverstone is being very sexy. But yeah, that’s not Reese’s thing. Wide-eyed and bushy-tailed and eager. She’s a participator. She’s a doer and what comes across in all of her movies is that she’s smart and capable. So that does feel … I mean, she is successful in every character she plays. She does not play unsuccessful people.

Matt (00:14:29):

Yeah. And that is pretty remarkable foresight. Compare her to Alicia Silverstone, who has had a good career, continues to get to act, was in Bogonia last year and Y2K, but it’s like that is a smart observation to be like, “I’m in the prime of my life right now at age 29, but Kathleen Turner is a great example. She had to graduate out of playing sex pots characters and had to come up with other stuff like cereal mom. Can I play comedy? Can I do other stuff?”

Laci (00:14:56):

Right. You have to convince the audience after they’ve already boxed you into what you are. And she’s beautiful so people think of her as also playing something people are going to like to watch, but I bet I never thought until just now like, “Oh yeah, she doesn’t play sexy. She just is. “

Matt (00:15:12):

And that’s sexy,

Laci (00:15:13):

Isn’t it? That’s what I mean. And I’d say the closest comparison would be like Sandra Bullock, but then you’ve got Ms. Congeniality where she’s very sexy. But the whole thing about Ms. Congeniality is that she is a cop so she’s really uncomfortable doing it. So it’s like she’s begrudgingly sexy, but then what was- No, Sandra Bullock’s

Matt (00:15:33):

Thing was never, I’m a sex pod in a movie.

Laci (00:15:35):

But she is though, but yeah, right. Nicole Kidman is a sex pot.

Matt (00:15:40):

Right. And that’s when we did our while you were sleeping episode, trying to distill, what is the Sandra Bullock thing? And it’s a more approachable girl next door version of Julia Roberts who is like impossible goddess. You could never actually be that. But yeah, she says as a student she was very type A. In fact, she named her first production company, Type A Pictures. Obsessed with reading. She got into Stanford. She left Stanford to pursue acting full time, but she did get in. At age 14, she attended an open casting call for the movie The Man in the Moon. I

Laci (00:16:14):

Love that movie.

Matt (00:16:15):

Directed by Robert Mulligan, who is the legendary director of To Kill a Mockingbird and she gets the role. It’s the lead of the movie. It’s an incredible performance. She gets critically acclaimed. Isn’t it so perfect though that it’s from the director of To Kill a Mockingbird?

Laci (00:16:29):

It’s studious and prestigious and she is- And

Matt (00:16:33):

Southern Frag.

Laci (00:16:34):

Right. Oh,

Matt (00:16:35):

Yep. And To Kill a Mockingbird is like the ultimate striver liberal fantasy of a good white man standing up for a black man and that’s kind of the Lane Reese Witherspoon has tried to occupy is like, no, I’m like a good, nice, good liberal, smart Southerner.

Laci (00:16:52):

How were you not in the help? How was she not? How was that not you? Or how did she

Matt (00:16:57):

Not produce that? Oh, that was during her wildernes period we will get into. Oh,

Laci (00:17:00):

Which I haven’t seen.

Matt (00:17:02):

I’m saying her career was in the wilderness for about

Laci (00:17:04):

Five years. Oh, because did you do a movie called Wild or into Wild? She did

Matt (00:17:07):

A movie called Wild, yes.

Laci (00:17:08):

Okay, that’s

Matt (00:17:09):

Sorry. 1996, she’s opposite Mark Wahlberg in Fear. She’s opposite Keifer Sutherland and Freeway the same year. Pleasantville 98, Cruel Intentions and Election in 99. Now

Laci (00:17:17):

Pleasantville. She is sex positive and sexy in that movie.

Matt (00:17:23):

But she hadn’t like figured out her thing yet.

Laci (00:17:25):

Yeah, yeah,

Matt (00:17:25):

Yeah. And it’s cruel intentions and it’s election and I still think election is her best role that really likes cement her as a star or at least like we can put her name at the top of a movie poster. But she would later say to the Washington Post that after election, it wasn’t that long, but there was a period of time between election and then Legally Blonde where it was hard for her to get roles. She said, “I’m not legally blonde. I’m not Tracy Flick. I couldn’t get jobs for a year after that because people thought I was that crazy and angry and controlling and strange, but yeah, I’m not. ” But Legally Blonde comes out in 2001. It’s a huge hit. Her performance is universally acclaimed. Roger Ebert says in his review, “Legally blonde is a featherweight comedy balanced between silliness and charm. It is impossible to dislike.

(00:18:10):

Although how much you like, it may depend on your affection for Reese Witherspoon. She is so much the star of the movie that the other actors seem less like co-stars than like partners in an acting workshop feeding her lines. They percolate she bubbles.”

Laci (00:18:24):

Why do they give me goosebumps? I hate that I can’t control them.

Matt (00:18:29):

When he-

Laci (00:18:30):

Goosebump. King. When he’s on one. When

Matt (00:18:32):

He’s on and

Laci (00:18:33):

He had

Matt (00:18:34):

To see 10 movies a week and write 10 reviews a week. So they’re not all great, but sometimes you’re like, damn, they bubble she percolates.

Laci (00:18:41):

No, other way.

Matt (00:18:43):

Fuck.

Laci (00:18:45):

That you’re no Ibert loved. They

Matt (00:18:46):

Both sound good.

Laci (00:18:47):

They do.

Matt (00:18:48):

And then Sweet On Maliban comes right after that. So let’s talk about Sweet Home Alabama. All right. She tells IG Inn in an interview in 2002, “The reason that I decided to do this role was very personal for me. I had been playing characters that were very larger than life and I decided to do something that was a little more close to my own personality.”

Laci (00:19:03):

I’m sorry, but you are a fucking successful fashion designer. Do you know how hard that would be, especially in New York, especially you have your own fucking big giant show and it’s a hit and you’re marrying someone who has aspirations of being the president one day and he takes you to the fucking Tiffany’s, closes it down, surprises you and you pick anything you want. That’s your down to earth fucking, but don’t worry. I know. You end up with the good old boy. The good old boy that knows how to fly a fucking plane, knows how to have the coolest job ever where he puts lighting rods in the sand and makes cool glass. He does glass so good that you like it independently if you even known it’s his. You’re loved by both the south and the north. What the fuck?

Matt (00:19:43):

Not only is he a super successful small business plane guy in Alabama, he’s devoted his life to a thing you two experienced one time together and he’s not spoken to another woman. He’s so devoted to you. He will dedicate the rest of his life to building a shrine to you and you will never even date to look at him.

Laci (00:20:02):

He went to New York without you even knowing he went because he saw you there, saw how perfect you were there. How much did he fucking see? What did he look at? And went home and knew he had to earn you. Wow.

Matt (00:20:14):

No,

Laci (00:20:15):

That’s the

Matt (00:20:15):

Relatable

Laci (00:20:16):

Version of a roper. That’s super

Matt (00:20:18):

Relatable. So when I read this, so when I read this, it reminded me of my own things I went through coming from Nashville and moving to LA and rejecting my past to some extent and to come back and which parts were important to my identity. Again, I want to remind you, her dad’s a surgeon, her mom’s a college professor. She’s not …

Laci (00:20:36):

Yeah, but when you’re not from New York and you’re surrounded by people who are, I mean, but I feel like tons of actors, their story is they’re from a small town. I feel like that’s everybody, just usually Ohio.

Matt (00:20:44):

No, I know. And these are the stories you have to tell about yourself.

Laci (00:20:47):

Josh

Matt (00:20:47):

Lucas will get into it in a minute. He also is like, I mean, I was from Arkansas before I came to New York.

Laci (00:20:52):

Can you imagine?s

Matt (00:20:53):

A fuck.

Laci (00:20:54):

Who’s from there?

Matt (00:20:55):

It reminds me of the devil wears proud of the woman who wrote the novel being astounded that she could succeed in the world of fashion, not realizing that your whole life has been training you to succeed in this world. Just because you didn’t care about clothes, you didn’t see the line of cushion that led you here.

Laci (00:21:12):

People aren’t lacking ambition and wanting things that are big. It’s just that they don’t usually spend so much of their childhood in the early 20s thinking about exactly what they want to think about with no other burdens, with no other like, “I need to help my family with this or oh crap, I have an unplanned pregnancy. What will I do? ” It’s just like when you’ve got every resource and you’ve had your eye on this one thing, you’re probably going to go ahead and achieve it. Just go on. Yes,

Matt (00:21:43):

Yes, yes, because the obstacles are clear.

Laci (00:21:45):

Nothing’s blocking you. It’s a slip and

Matt (00:21:47):

Slide.

Laci (00:21:47):

He’s just

Matt (00:21:48):

Got to-

Laci (00:21:48):

You’re good looking and blonde. You’re fine. Both of you.

Matt (00:21:51):

I’ve been listening to Brian Quimby’s new metal podcast, the POD cast. This is why I’ve been talking to you about so much new metal

Laci (00:21:57):

Recently. Pamble on Delivery Christian Rock. On

Matt (00:22:00):

Death.

Laci (00:22:01):

That’s what I meant.

Matt (00:22:02):

And the best part of that show is they read interviews with all these new metal guys from the late 90s and early 2000s. And it’s so much fun to hear these just dumb asses from back then talking about like, “Here’s what our music’s about. Here’s my story,” because so many of them came from very comfortable backgrounds and they’re like, “You’re like a teenager and everybody’s telling you you can’t party and stuff.” And it’s just like, this is about taking back the control and the power.

Laci (00:22:27):

You know who gets to pursue being in a band until they actually make it? People who are independently wealthy and have support otherwise. Well,

Matt (00:22:34):

Because there are people like Jonathan Davis from Korn who went through legit turmoil and stuff and then there are lots of other bands who are like, “Well, we got to have something to say about. “

Laci (00:22:43):

I know, but Jonathan Davis is so special. His music is so raw. And there’s a reason why Kurt Cobain and Jonathan Davis and certain people like, what’s Bobby McGee, why can’t I think Janice Joplin. There’s been nice certain artists where you’re just like, oh, they’re lighting in a bottle, that’s different. But then you’ve got your fucking creeds and your … Sorry, why do I pick on them? But the three hit wonder type bands where you’re like, yeah, you just had to keep pushing long enough and you were going to break in. Yeah. You already had that apartment in New York. It’s okay that it was a one bedroom.

Matt (00:23:17):

So Sweet Home Alabama starts life as a screenplay by C, letter C period J-A-Y Cox, that’s his name. There’s not that much information about this guy. One extensive interview I found from him is from 2004. He grew up in the Mormon church. He was gay, is gay, struggled juggling those two identities. It’s kind of interesting to look at this movie and see kind of threads, disparate threads of that. Clearly this movie was heavily sanded down from whatever screenplay he wrote, but I just- Keeping

Laci (00:23:50):

Your worlds apart.

Matt (00:23:51):

Yes. I wish I could have gotten information about how did this script evolve over time? Because one thing is like the movie’s called Sweet Home Alabama. It doesn’t have to be Alabama. It can be any southern state. It can be anywhere. It’s so generic. Alabama’s diferent from Georgia, it’s different from Mississippi. These are all-

Laci (00:24:10):

Different Louisiana.

Matt (00:24:11):

Yeah. You want to get a sense of place in this movie that you just don’t. And the movie is filmed in Georgia.

Laci (00:24:17):

Well, because it’s cynical. It reads a Southern. There’s a plantation where Civil War reenacting. They’ll be like, “Yep, that’s Alabama, right?”

Matt (00:24:26):

Right. And no, you can easily see, it could have been called Georgia on my mind and

Laci (00:24:30):

Nothing

Matt (00:24:31):

Would’ve had to change. And that sucks that you should have

Laci (00:24:34):

Something

Matt (00:24:34):

To say about the place.

Laci (00:24:37):

Rather than just tropes that you could literally say about any Southern location and people would believe you.

Matt (00:24:42):

Right, exactly.

Laci (00:24:44):

Yeah. I mean, you couldn’t even pick a last name that is a vo debutante in your … How easy is that to research? Why not do something that sounds more local?

Matt (00:24:55):

Yeah. And we see New Orleans is depicted on screen all the time. Very few people get the accent right. People mix up Western Louisiana with New Orleans.

Laci (00:25:04):

Cajun with … Right, right.

Matt (00:25:06):

It’s just do a little bit of research. Right.

Laci (00:25:10):

Because are you not trying to appeal to the people who are from there? Because I don’t know that as a person from Milwaukee, I’m like, “Oh, a New Orleans movie. I am there.” So it’s like if you’re leaning on it at all, do it for the locals.

Matt (00:25:23):

The more specific you make it, the more universal you make it in a way, because people will recognize

Laci (00:25:27):

Things

Matt (00:25:27):

About

Laci (00:25:28):

In

Matt (00:25:28):

Themselves when they see … And I don’t live in Alabama and I don’t know that much about what makes it different from Georgia, but I know they are distinct things.

Laci (00:25:36):

Very. Yeah. Well, I mean, Alabama specifically has more of a chip on their shoulder because everyone knows that the Southern states are the lowest of the low on so many different important statistics and Alabama’s always under Louisiana.

Matt (00:25:56):

No,

Laci (00:25:57):

It’s usually

Matt (00:25:58):

Alabama 48, Louisiana 49, Mississippi 50.

Laci (00:26:01):

That’s

Matt (00:26:02):

Usually

Laci (00:26:02):

The- Okay. But for some reason, but the leagues of Louisiana has New Orleans and Baton Rouge. Alabama has football.

Matt (00:26:09):

Alabama has the University of Alabama.

Laci (00:26:11):

Yeah, but only college football where we have both and we have New Orleans, which there is no city like New Orleans. That is truly- Oh, you’ve never

Matt (00:26:18):

Been to Mobile, my friend. I

Laci (00:26:20):

Don’t know. I feel like Sweet Home Alabama, the song is a derogatory mark against your state. Isn’t it racist?

Matt (00:26:31):

No, I mean the song makes a point of saying they denounced the governor, George Wallace. They say, “In Birmingham, we love the governor.” No, no, no. Because he was a segregationist. They are trying to, but they’re not from Alabama, they’re from Jacksonville. But the other thing, and I know we’re belaboring this point, is this is apparently supposed to be on the Alabama Gulf Coast where we’ve spent a ton of time.

Laci (00:26:54):

Right. There’s nothing-

Matt (00:26:56):

And the Alabama Gulf Coast is different from Alabama proper.

Laci (00:26:59):

It’s beach

Matt (00:27:00):

Towns.

Laci (00:27:00):

Right. And there’s such a vibe in beach towns and it’s just a little bit more casual. It doesn’t have to be a … But he’s at the beach all the time. They’re on the water all the time. That’s fun and interesting. The beach they show could be anywhere. Beaches around the Gulf of Mexico very wildly in how good looking they are and they get better looking the further you get towards Florida. And so each section of beach for each state is a point of pride as to the condition of it. Louisiana is we are lovingly calling our beach muddy. We love our oil spill.

Matt (00:27:38):

Yeah. I promise you, if you’ve never been to the Gulf Coast of Mississippi or Alabama, there’s a world or

Laci (00:27:42):

Difference between those two. Big fucking difference. Yeah. Alabama,

Matt (00:27:45):

You’re like, oh my God, it’s magnificent. Mississippi, it’s someone took a giant. God took a

Laci (00:27:49):

Giant shit. In the muddy Mississippi with poop, but then you go to Destin or something and it’s like-

Matt (00:27:56):

In Florida.

Laci (00:27:57):

Yes, in Florida. And it’s like, wow. Tropical paradise.

Matt (00:28:01):

All right. So Andy Tennant is the director of the picture. He has a very weird career. All right his previous film credits include It Takes Two Starring the Olson Twins. Yeah. Fools

Laci (00:28:12):

Rush

Matt (00:28:12):

In.

Laci (00:28:13):

Love. Matthew Perry.

Matt (00:28:15):

Previous episode of our show ever after. Very old episode, but I remember really liking that movie, being shocked. This is a really good movie. Yeah. Drew Barrymore is Cinderella, but no magic. All right. But beret before Swethelme, Alabama, he does Anna and the King starring Jodi Foster,

Laci (00:28:30):

Which was

Matt (00:28:30):

A- Yes,

Laci (00:28:30):

Just picked that movie up actually, a VHS.

Matt (00:28:33):

Oh. But this was a big bomb.

Laci (00:28:36):

I remember liking it.

Matt (00:28:37):

He said it put him into director jail. I’ve always been curious about it just because there’s- It

Laci (00:28:42):

Looks expensive. There’s

Matt (00:28:43):

Fewer Jodi Foster movies than you think. So it’s like everyone is-

Laci (00:28:46):

When we were trying to think of people who pull you along and it was pure star power and charisma but not sexy, I was thinking Jodi Foster too because she ends up being sexy, but you think of her different roles and she spends a lot of time in very, I mean like sweats. She’s cute as button, but she does so many, I don’t know, she has such range.

Matt (00:29:12):

Yes, but always I’m competent and smart. But it

Laci (00:29:14):

Is a weird

Matt (00:29:15):

Role. I’m Anna and the king.

Laci (00:29:17):

Right. She’s on princess material.

Matt (00:29:20):

After Sweet Home Alabama, he does Hitch, Fool’s Gold and the Bounty Hunter. He has a bunch of hits.

Laci (00:29:25):

Yeah.

Matt (00:29:25):

All right. He told Business Insider in 2022, “I was given the script. It wasn’t very good. Everyone had passed on it in town. And then I went off to make Anna and the king. That led me to going to director jail. I was in director jail for about a year and then Sweet Home Alabama came around again. The script was just as bad as I thought it was before, but I thought the idea was great. Also, I had four young kids to feed at the time. I think my big takeaway for the rewrite for me and my writing partner, Rick Parts, was that in the original script, I think the fiance of Reese’s character was a complete tool and the guy down south was a hunky handsome guy. I think he was a stock car driver. Why don’t we do a love triangle where the love choices are between a great guy and the right guy?

(00:30:07):

That kind of became our north star.

Laci (00:30:10):

It is refreshing because you keep waiting for him to take a heel turn or the mom to be so bad that it … But Candace Bergen is just the right amount of shitty in front of Reese where you’re like, no, you could buy into that family. I mean, you could forgive that kind of a mother-in-law if the guy is worth it. It’s never quite shitty enough because you’re waiting for one of them to tip the scale.

Matt (00:30:33):

Yeah. I was kind of impressed at how they keep him as a very good guy. The

Laci (00:30:39):

Only thing

Matt (00:30:39):

Is he’s way too understanding, but that’s also-

Laci (00:30:42):

But you realize he’s doing it to piss off his mom. He could have had a bigger reaction at the wedding. Why wait for the wedding day to let these things happen? But he sees how enraged it’s making his mom for him to not be so mad at her that he’s like, “That’s perfect. That’s all I wanted.”

Matt (00:30:59):

Yeah. I guess you could so easily see this being made in the 1940s with Jimmy Stewart and the Philadelphia story, basically, and Catherine Hepburn. And it’s like, “I want to choose to marry Carrie Grant and instead of Jimmy Stewart, and Jimmy Stewart’s just like, ah shucks, all right then.” And you just go with it because you’re like, “Oh, I like all these guys so much. They’ll be fine.” I am kind of impressed that that’s the attitude the movie takes. Okay. So he rewrites the script Andy Tinnitt. The original star attached is Charlize Theron. Her production company is developing the script and now apparently they don’t like Andy Tennant’s rewrite so they say, “We’re leaving this project. You can have the script.” So he had worked with Reese Witherspoon on a TV movie in the early ’90s called Desperate Choices to Save My Child.

(00:31:46):

So he had a relationship with her and he said, “We would have lunch every year or so. I had lunch with her not that long before I turned in the Sweet Olm Alabama script. We were just catching up and I asked, what have you been up to? ” And she said, “I made this movie nobody is going to see. It’s silly but it was really fun to make.” And that turned out to be Legally Blonde. And she asked me what I was doing and I was like, “We just wrote a movie but I don’t know if it’s ever going to get made.” And then Legally Blonde came out and I got a call from the studio and they were like, “What do you think of Reese Witherspoon?” And I was like, “I’ve known her since she was 15. She would be great.”

(00:32:16):

And then Reese called me and said, “You are never going to believe this. They sent me your script. The only reason Sweet Home Alabama was made was because of Legally Blonde.” They cast Josh Lucas as the male lead. He’s from Arkansas and then moved to New York to be an actor. Worked steadily in small parts in the 90s, was in American Psycho in the same movie as Reese with this, but I don’t think they have any scenes together. But he’s very good. We have an episode about that from last year. He’s very good. It is funny because I always think of him as a Southern actor, but in that movie, he’s like perfect slimeball, Wall Street guy. This was his first lead part. And he said, “My memory was that Andy felt I’m the guy and that he really went to bat for me. I don’t know if anybody else wanted me.

(00:32:55):

And I mean Disney and everybody from the power positions. I was in no way established or had any real career to back that up. So that funny negotiation of it all is they called me up and said, Disney doesn’t want you to do this movie. Nobody wants you to do this movie except the director. So they’re offering you nothing. Take it or leave it. And I was like, hell yeah, I’ll take it.

Speaker 3 (00:33:11):

What?

Matt (00:33:11):

I might have been the lowest paid actor in the entire movie. I’m talking every single person on the movie, but it’s still one of the best choices I ever made. Reese was very unsure of me and had no reason not to be. And I think there was a lot of fear on her part about me and what I was going to bring because she couldn’t look at any of my past work and understand why I was cast. Patrick Dempsey had his 80s movie star or teen star. Well,

Laci (00:33:33):

And just look at

Matt (00:33:33):

Him.

Laci (00:33:34):

Look at him. He’s born to be the New York guy. So cute. He’s cute, but you can not like him if you need to. He has a versatile face. I guess I know him from Grey’s Anatomy the

Matt (00:33:47):

Most. Yeah. So I mean, he has his teen star run and then he works in TV, but this is like, he returns to movies. He’s McDreamy. And then gets Grey’s Anatomy and starts popping up in movies. All right. So this movie, which becomes an enormous hit, it comes out in September. It becomes the highest grossing September or the highest, the biggest opening at the box office for a movie in September ever ends up making almost $200 million world. It played like a Marvel movie.

Laci (00:34:13):

You know what? The movie feels so charmed. The actors all feel so charmed in the movie. It all comes together so easy that it never occurred to me that this was something hard to get put out or like that it might not have gotten put out. That’s what bothered me about it was that it was such a slam dunk and like perfectly. It felt like some very important, rich people went into a lab and made this for me. And to know that it was such an uncertain thing and made by someone who wasn’t sure and it makes me like it more.

Matt (00:34:44):

I was so glad you said that when I proposed doing this because that is the exact memory I had as like a 15-year-old seeing the trailer of like, that seems like the safest movie of all … And I’m not thinking about movies in terms like that at the

Laci (00:34:55):

Time. No, me either. And all at once realized that was made for me and they fucking know it and I resent that. I want to like what I don’t think I’ll like. This ends up being a little more complicated than you think it’s going to be and just when you think it’s going to resolve that there’s a half hour left and I’m like, “What the hell are they going to do with this half hour?” But I enjoyed the whole fucking thing. And I really liked whenever she was at the end, she’s like, “Everybody that’s here for the bride stick around. I’m going to get me a groom.” And then they put together this like they all get together and take parts of the wedding and put it up at the bar. And I’m like, now that is the most well observed thing about a small town that actually would happen, especially in a place like Homa or Grand Isle where like it’s like, “We don’t need everything here, but let’s go to the place where we really like to hang out and just put up a cake.” And that really is everyone pitches in and just brings a dish.

Matt (00:35:49):

Yeah. Again, everything I like about this movie makes me mad. The reviews were very, very mixed, but they all pretty much say like, “Great motherspoon though. Here’s what the Christian monitor science…”

Laci (00:35:58):

Whoa, the Christian Science Monitor?

Matt (00:36:00):

The Christian Science Monitor says, “It’s no accident that the ubiquitous poster for Sweet Home Alabama features nothing but Reese Witherspoon’s radiant face. She is not the movie’s main attraction. She is its only attraction.” And the filmmakers know this capitalizing on her spunky charm for all their worth. Although again, I think that the whole cast is really good and there’s something about Josh Lucas. Oh, for sure. I think that it’s kind of directed shittily and that the script sucks, but the actors-

Laci (00:36:31):

I love that. I always love that burnet, the one that’s got the baby in the bar. Melanie

Matt (00:36:37):

Linsky.

Laci (00:36:37):

I always like her. Always great. Yeah. Even the ones who play the bonehead cousins who make the Melanie sandwich or whatever, that one guy, not the bigger guy, but the other one, I’m like, “I know him. Why do I know him? I love him.” And he’s just random guy in bar that makes Melanie sandwich. Yeah. Okay.

Matt (00:36:55):

Because we used to have people in movies. Now we have AI.

Laci (00:36:59):

And like I said, I get it. I get how hard it is to leave a mother-in-law that loves you, that you’re the daughter she never had and was so happy that’d be in your life. And it’s like, if I could just stay with the mom, I would and leave the guy. I get that. You

Matt (00:37:18):

Did that in fact.

Laci (00:37:19):

It is hard to leave someone who so wants you in their life when they don’t have anything to do with the reason you’re leaving. And you know you can never keep that relationship the way that it would be if you just stayed with their son.

Matt (00:37:32):

It sucks. I love the idea. I didn’t remember that she’s literally married to him. And I kind of like what that suggests is like I got married to a dude down in Alabama really young and that suggests a whole sort of alternate history and there’s something very sweet about that. But then when you start to think about it, it gets very dark. It’s like, oh, was this guy probably like abusive and stuff?

Laci (00:37:52):

Yeah, the random mentions and how they spent their wedding nights like, fuck, that feels real familiar. But that’s

Matt (00:37:58):

Why I say the movie’s so frictionless because it’s

Laci (00:37:59):

Like,

Matt (00:38:00):

No, he’s perfect. He’s such a beautiful man.

Laci (00:38:03):

He just wasn’t

Matt (00:38:04):

Then. And I’m sure in a version of the screenplay, it was an abortion, not a miscarriage.

Laci (00:38:08):

Because

Matt (00:38:09):

It’s like, no, no, no. We cannot have them doing anything wrong. The evil thing she did was when she had a miscarriage, she felt relief. She has a lot to atone

Laci (00:38:19):

For. But he lets her off the hook before she even says that. He says the most beautiful thing, which is just like, I realized your options would have gone way down if you’d had a baby. He said something like that right before she then admits to being relieved. It’s like, okay, he took the sting out of it for you.

Matt (00:38:38):

I know. Now I really wanted … Let’s read another thing from Ebert who is also on one here. But we know that the movie absolutely requires that Melanie reject Bright Lights Big City and return to the embrace of her hometown. And we know the odds are low that Melanie will get the divorce, return to New York and marry the mayor’s son. Anyone who thinks that I have just committed a spoiler will be unaware of all the movies in this genre since Ma and Paw Kettle.

Laci (00:39:02):

Which I also just got on VHS, two different Mom Paw Kettle movies.

Matt (00:39:06):

Side note.

Laci (00:39:06):

And the Philadelphia story.

Matt (00:39:08):

I don’t remember people saying spoiler back in 2002, but

Laci (00:39:11):

Anyway. Yeah, what else would it be called?

Matt (00:39:12):

I feel like that’s a more recent word.

(00:39:15):

In this review, he also talks a lot about how Patrick Dempsey is JFK Jr. He looks like JFK Jr. And his mom looks like Jackie Kennedy. So Ebert says, “But answer me this. What about Melanie as a person with her own success and her own ambition? Would a woman with a talent and ambition necessary to become world famous in the fashion industry before the age of 30 be able, I ask you, be willing, be prepared to renounce it all to become the spouse of a man who has built a successful business as a, let’s say, glassblower. The chances of that happening are, I submit, extremely thin. And that is why Sweet Home Alabama works. It is a fantasy, a sweet, lighthearted fairytale with Reese Bitherspoon at its center. She’s as lovable as Doris Day would’ve been in this role. In fact, Doris Day was in this role and please don’t eat the daisies.

(00:39:58):

So I enjoyed Witherspoon and the local color, but I am so very tired of the underlying premise. Isn’t it time for the movies to reflect reality and show the Melanies of the world fleeing to New York as fast as they can? “

Laci (00:40:10):

I do find the mom’s story interesting and the very reason that Reese thinks she’s been put in pageants when she’s little is exactly what it is. The mom never made any bones about, “I don’t want you with Jake. He is quicksand. I don’t want you to marry someone your head over heels for and get stuck here.” That’s constantly shoved down your throat. You’re going to go to New York. It’s not like it was like Melanie had this random wild dream that no one put in her head. Her mom put it there the whole time. All she needed was a reason.

Matt (00:40:40):

That’s another one of those threads that seems like it’s there from a more interesting movie Because her actual husband seems like a lovely guy.

Laci (00:40:47):

And she loves him. What’s wrong

Matt (00:40:49):

His

Laci (00:40:49):

Life? No, she’s like Tracy Flick’s mom and that she had this idea of upward mobility. They are literally in a double wide trailer. So even for this town they’re in, they are poor. Melanie Smooter has less money than Jake Perry’s family. Jakes Perry’s family owns a bar and he has a house that’s permanent. You know what I mean? So that’s just not where she saw her going and she didn’t want her daughter to feel stuck and to have limited resources. I get it. But please wish for your daughter to be madly in love and still in love after decades of being married to someone. That’s more than most people get.

Matt (00:41:33):

I wasn’t expecting to see the through line with Tracy Flick of the mom is kind of the one making you … Alexander Payne had such a good eye for putting that in an election, that this mom character who has like two lines in the entire movie, and you pay attention, you realize she’s the reason Tracy Flick is the way she is. Not because for anything evil, but just like, I want my daughter to succeed and this is the only chance.

Laci (00:41:55):

You make neurotic anxious people when you have neuroses and anxiety while raising your child. I mean, Tracy Flicks are not born. They are raised and different traits that are nature and not nurture, but I’m just saying, these people seem like they pop out of the ground holy form just like that and then it just takes a couple of smart scenes and you’re like, perfect. That is exactly where she came from.

Matt (00:42:22):

So she’s on top of the world after Sweet Home Alabama, Mix Legally Blonde Tube, makes the movie Vanity Fair, which was not a big hit, but people liked it just like heaven with Mark Ruffalo and then wins the best actress Oscar for Walk the Line. Her career is proceeding like-

Laci (00:42:37):

And finally went back to Nashville.

Matt (00:42:38):

Schematically like, these are all the milestones I need to win an Oscar when I’m 30. Great. Okay. But in 2006, which is the year she wins an Oscar, she divorces Ryan Philippe and in this interview with Charlie Rose, sorry about Charlie Rose, everybody, she says, “That was a tough year that followed. I got divorced the next year and I spent a few years just trying to feel better. You know, you can’t really be very creative when you feel like your brain is scrambled eggs.” Charlie Rose says, “Feel like you failed in your personal life?” Reese says, “Yeah.” And then I was just kind of floundering career wise because I wasn’t making things I was passionate about. I was just kind of working and it was really clear that audiences weren’t responding to anything I was putting out there. So that includes movies like Four Christmases, James L.

(00:43:24):

Brooks’ historic bomb, How Do You? Water for Elephants. Nobody has. It was like a hundred million dollars movie starring Reese Witherspoon and Owen Wilson in it. Holy shit. It made like $50,000.

Laci (00:43:36):

Wow.

Matt (00:43:38):

Water for elephants in 2011, this means War in 2012, but then she has a resurgence in the 2010s.

Laci (00:43:44):

A Reese.

Matt (00:43:45):

She’s in Mud in 2012 with Matthew McConaughey and then she starts her production company or restarts her production company and starts to really like take control over her career and expand her business profile. She produces in stars in the movie Wild, which gets critical acclaim, gets her second Oscar nomination. She buys and produces the script for Gone Girl intending to star as amazing Amy. And David Fincher’s like, “No, you’re not starring in this. ” Rasman Pike is. But that movie’s a huge hit. She gets nominated for-

Laci (00:44:15):

But good on her for not pushing. Let an amazing director do his thing.

Matt (00:44:19):

Exactly. Yes.

Laci (00:44:20):

Stay in your lane.

Matt (00:44:21):

And I can’t imagine that

Laci (00:44:23):

Movie with her

Matt (00:44:24):

In it.

Laci (00:44:25):

That’s interesting. I mean, I don’t know drama her except for fear and I can barely remember that. And I guess the Cruel Intentions is a drama, but it just like-

Matt (00:44:35):

Wild. I’ve never seen it. Well, but then you’re like, yeah, but I mean Reese Witherspoon as like this golden child of destiny, you can kind of see amazing Amy in that. I’m a real person beneath all of this and the whole world feels like they know me since they’ve seen me on screen since I was 14.

Laci (00:44:54):

Yeah.

Matt (00:44:55):

But she produces Gone Girl. She really moves into TV, Big Little Lies, The Morning Show, Little Fires Everywhere. Not just starring in these, but her production company is the production company behind all these shows and then her business career. Wait, that

Laci (00:45:10):

Wasn’t her fucking business career. No.

Matt (00:45:12):

That’s just like standard like I’m producing now in addition to being an actor and lots of actors do that and you should-

Laci (00:45:22):

Diversify.

Matt (00:45:22):

I want artists to have control over what they make.

Laci (00:45:25):

Yes.

Matt (00:45:26):

Everything I’ve said about Reese Witherson thus far has been very positive, but let’s go to the dark side a little bit. First production company was called Type A Films.This was later merged into Pacific Standard Films. She said she started noticing the older she got, there just weren’t that many great roles for women and she’s 1000% right and it’s a great idea. I’ll just create the roles for myself. I will go out and find the materials. I’ll find the scripts. I’ll find the books and I will use my capacity as a producer and a movie star to get good projects made. And again, very successful, wild, gone girl, big little lies. But she says despite all the success, she couldn’t keep the lights on at her production company. And so she spoke to her good friend, Seth Rodsky, the co-founder of the private equity firm Strand Partners.

(00:46:09):

Sounds good. A chill should go down your spine when you hear that. Let me say it again. Seth Rodsey, co-founder of private equity firm Strand Partners. Strand your partner. And he says, “Reese, sorry baby, your whole business strategy is wrong. We need to start over.” So they start hello sunshine. Private equity, we don’t have enough time to get into private equity, but it is a huge topic, a very important thing. Megan Greenwell wrote a great book last year called Bad Company about what private equity is doing to the- I want to

Laci (00:46:40):

Read that.

Matt (00:46:41):

Lives of normal people like people who don’t work in Hollywood, people who just like go work at stores and restaurants and stuff and how it’s ruining all of their lives. But okay, we’ll get to it. Reese, you need to fund your company with private equity. So they start Hello Sunshine. Here, this is its mission statement from its website. “We are changing the narrative for women, founded by Reese Witherspoon to shine a light on where women are now and help them chart a new path forward. We put women at the center of every story. Hello Sunshine aims to broaden perspective and empower women by giving them authorship, inspiring agency and creating a platform to help them shape culture and the world around them. “Again, nothing wrong with any of that. Just remember it’s coming from a private equity company. Private equity is the thing that is like literally hollowing out all of the jobs in America.

(00:47:26):

Just

Laci (00:47:26):

Think about how much money they can throw at a PR person and person that was responsible for writing those words. That’s where you got to go with your head. If the very best person could be afforded here, am I being fed bullshit?

Matt (00:47:40):

She also founds a fashion line called Draper James in 2015, Southern influenced fashion line. She says,” The South is a very lively stylish place. There’s always a backyard party, a luncheon or family celebration that calls for getting dressed up. Southern girls also love treasured family heirlooms. For instance, my mother gave me her own pearl earrings and I cherish them. “This is a huge success in 2023. She sells it to a private equity company. And now recently as she’s become sort of the media friendly face of girl boss feminism, of lean in feminism, she’s kind of stepped in it by saying women need to embrace AI. If you embrace AI, that’s feminist.

Speaker 3 (00:48:24):

I think it’s time to learn about AI. I was with 10 women at a book club yesterday and I said to the 10 of them,” How many of you guys use AI? “And only three of them used AI. And then I said,” How many of the three of you feel like you really know what you’re doing or they’re using it the right way? “And that was only one person. So if three out of 10 women are the only ones using AI, that means 70% of that group is not keeping up. The thing I’ve learned about technology is if you don’t get a little bit of understanding from the very beginning, it just speeds past you. So you have to have little bits of learning just to keep up and let’s get real, our kids are all using this every single day. I think we should learn the basics together and learn some really good tools that are going to make our everyday lives easier and better.

(00:49:14):

Do you want me to share what I’m learning with you? It’s time. It’s time, people.

Laci (00:49:20):

That’s not what I thought it was going to be. I mean, AI is all around us. There are millions of tools being produced and some of them are helpful for day-to-day shit if they’re not replacing creativity. Yeah, I don’t know where to draw the line, but I get what she’s saying. Don’t get passed up. I get it. I don’t know. I thought it was going to be like, let’s replace people and actors and writers. No,

Matt (00:49:45):

If she said that, it would be easy to dismiss it. What she’s saying is this is all part of a … At the same time she releases this so many other actors come out with Sandra Bullock, Demi Moore, James Cameron come out and say like, okay, it’s time. AI isn’t the boogeyman. And you start to get like, why is all of this happening right now?

Laci (00:50:03):

Yeah. Okay. But here’s what I do find to be a red flag. She’s asking women in a book club if they use it. Well, I mean, you go to Taco Bell, you’re using it. You don’t mean to be using it. AI uses you. You know what I mean? So what are you asking them and how are they using it? And I just find it very vague.

Matt (00:50:23):

And to act like the fulcrum all of this is going to swing on is whether individual people make the decision. Am I going to use AI over the course of my day? None of that matters.

Laci (00:50:33):

It’s happening all around me. I’m not choosing to participate with it. It just is.

Matt (00:50:38):

I think that her caption was more forceful. “Well, I’ve decided it’s time for me to learn more. The AI revolution has begun and I need to learn as much as I possibly can about AI. Also, FYI, the jobs women hold are three times more likely to be automated by AI and yet AI are using AI, yet women are using AI at a rate 25% lower than men on average. For instance, do you all know how Instagram uses AI? Laci, you and I both have jobs that will be replaced with AI one day. If we use AI to do the job, that will not help us keep our job.

Laci (00:51:11):

Right. Fuck me. If I ever start using AI to come up with ideas for how to design something. I can only be completely original and creative if it’s coming from my fucking brain. So there’s that. But then there’s stuff I’m not good at, which is like reading a long document and taking from it what I need to act, my next steps are. So when I ask the fucking thing in Google, Jim and I, just tell me what my next step is. And that does save me like 10, 15 minutes and my brain. So it’s like I don’t know where to draw the line either because that’s not my craft. Reading and research and taking out the finer point, that’s someone else’s job who would be really resentful of me saying this, but it’s not my skills. So what do I do?

Matt (00:51:55):

Nobody at any point along the chain is making the decision, oh, I would like to have people lose their jobs and get replaced with this automated thing. There’s plenty of things that we do that are automated that used to be full-time jobs.

Laci (00:52:06):

Coding, for instance, there’s almost no need for coders to exist because that truly, it is just a computer talking computer to another computer.

Matt (00:52:14):

I used to do a lot of ghost writing. There’s no need for it anymore. No need for ghost writing. Nobody gives a fuck because AI can do it 90% as well as I could. 70% as well. But the point is like, so that’s gone. But nobody made the decision, “Oh, I want Matt Stokes to have less work.”

Laci (00:52:30):

Sure.

Matt (00:52:31):

What you are doing, Reese Witherspoon-

Laci (00:52:33):

Just normalizing.

Matt (00:52:34):

… is playing the role of letting everybody embrace their eventual decay and obsolescence. Don’t worry about it. Just slip

Laci (00:52:41):

Into the bathroom. As a person who won’t be affected by it because you already have your millions and millions and billions of dollars. So is it your place- Who are these women

Matt (00:52:47):

In your book club? Who are you talking to

Laci (00:52:48):

Also? They’re fine. Also, 70% of that batch of women, that’s some very specific kinds of people you’re in a book club with.

Matt (00:52:59):

Gets a lot of backlash, especially from authors. So on author says, as someone who champions authors and books the way you do, this is so disappointing. Author Jennifer Wright says, “AI plagiarized all my books. It seems unlikely that I’ll be left behind if I don’t use it given that it’s trained on work I did years ago.” Another author, Sophia Benoit said, “There’s something particularly insidious about seeing that women, the group you have built your brand on have not adopted something and instead of assuming it’s out of wisdom and fantilizing

Laci (00:53:26):

Them with,

Matt (00:53:27):

We’re falling behind.”

Laci (00:53:29):

Yeah, maybe we’re just more moral fucker.

Matt (00:53:32):

Or it’s not useful. What is it useful for?

Laci (00:53:34):

Right. Your average housewife, is she needing to really get into AI? I mean, I guess it’s just hard to imagine these women that she’s in a book club with are big career gals. So what is she asking them to use it for?

Matt (00:53:49):

Right.

Laci (00:53:49):

It helps me find a better nanny.

Matt (00:53:52):

Director Charlene Bagcall said, “This is obviously a scripted ad and it’s genuinely infuriating. Notice how AI’s biggest defenders are the ones cashing checks from it. AI isn’t inevitable. Technology follows society. If people stop using it, it dies. We still have agency.” Now Reese Mitherspoon responded to this specific claim that I’m not getting paid by AI, I’m not. And I’m sure that’s technically true, but your business is in massive partnership with all of these and has a massive investment in AI.

Laci (00:54:20):

Were you Reese Witherspooned some things to say maybe at a luncheon? I mean, these things just are, if they’re swirling around you, maybe you feel like, “Hey, I should make a video about

Matt (00:54:31):

That. ” Read this tweet here, Laci, from this is a slash film writer,

Laci (00:54:34):

Chris

Matt (00:54:34):

Evangelista.

Laci (00:54:35):

You’ve got a lot of fucking nerves asking me to read anything, but okay. It’s so painfully clear all these people went to some stupid pro AI luncheon recently and were fed bullshit talking points, depressing stuff. God, what is the … Okay, the closing part of it, it did feel very scripted, but she’s a very polished person, so you buy it coming out of her mouth, plus she’s not wearing makeup and she’s splinting a smoothie and there’s cuts. So you’re just like, she just gave us the best parts of what she said. It wasn’t scripted, but then at the end she’s like, “Do you want to know what I’m learning?” Sound like a fucking computer. It’s like you just left a fucking cliffhanger? Just tell us a normal person and just be like, “I just found this app and it helped me fucking do this thing in my kitchen.

(00:55:17):

That was cool. That’s unscripted.” Hey, you want to know more ladies?

Matt (00:55:24):

Chris Evangelista tweeted that retweeting a post from Variety about Demi Moore saying, “It’s time to embrace AI.” And yeah, it was very notable. All of these people are saying it at the exact same time. The thing is- It’s

Laci (00:55:38):

Like the word in Veep robust or whatever the fucking word was. She couldn’t use it in her speech because someone had just used the word.

Matt (00:55:45):

Okay. Well, Universal, that’s a movie studio, but at a certain point it merged with NBC. So it’s NBC Universal. Oh, but they’re owned by Comcast. They’re just a cog in the giant Comcast. Comcast is the real power and then somebody smarter is like, no, no, no. It’s not Comcast. It’s the handful of hedge funds and private equity firms that own the stock in Comcast. They’re the real power players. And then the thing is those hedge fund and private equity companies, they also own all the media outlets that cover Hollywood and they own all the talent agencies. So it’s just one giant blob. That’s why they’re all saying the exact same stuff at the exact

Laci (00:56:18):

Same

Matt (00:56:18):

Time.

Laci (00:56:18):

So because they all have their litle Reese Witherspoon that they’re going to go take out the lunch and just spoon feed them some things. Exactly it because- It’s a perfect age range of person to be saying these things too because that’s her fears is that she’s over the hill. Timmy Morris, over the hill, lucky to be getting these roles and to still be relevant right now. You are the exact kind of person that would have enough anxiety to start trying to say things that make you sound a little bit more current.

Matt (00:56:47):

And if you want to keep working, if you want to be in a decision making capacity, you’re going to have to tow the party

Laci (00:56:53):

Line about something. Be specific. What are you saying that … What are you talking about? I don’t go to Taco Bell in the drive through and go, speak to a person, speak to a person. That’s a great point. No,

Matt (00:57:04):

That’s a great point.

Laci (00:57:05):

What

Matt (00:57:05):

Are you telling me to

Laci (00:57:06):

Do? Yeah, it’s infuriating. Are you saying that when my phone automatically does some shit with my face that I didn’t ask you to do or refuse two factor authenticate … So much AI is in the processes of every fucking thing we use. The really obvious little chatbots and ask me this. I’m not using that, but it just presumes we have any idea what parts of our lives already are.

Matt (00:57:35):

Well, and again, that we have any power. That director said it follows society.

Laci (00:57:39):

So it could be our fault.

Matt (00:57:40):

But I don’t agree with that. The business world is deciding we’re going to make this happen. It doesn’t matter what people want. This is going to happen.

Laci (00:57:47):

Right. If your bank app doesn’t work on your phone without whatever new AI thing they did to it, you’re going to go to the bank physically now, really put yourself in time constraints through all kinds of things. You’re going to just say, “Nope, I’m manually doing this. Walking into Walgreens, not going to talk to that fucking lady that comes in and first…”

Matt (00:58:08):

And if you do all of that and expend all of that extra energy, it’s a teardrop in the ocean. What does it matter? Now people pointed out Reese Witherspoon was also a big champion of crypto and of NFTs before those bubbles burst. And dressed it up in the language of feminism and empowerment. Don’t get left behind by the new revolution of NFTs

Laci (00:58:24):

By NBC. You’re just projecting, my guy. I’m sorry that you feel like you’re being left behind. How much money do you need to feel relevant? But yeah, you had all this trust that she’d built up with women and with her fans and that just sucks to see her waste

Matt (00:58:43):

It. That’s what I don’t like about it, but I also blame her, but I also think this is the price you have to pay if you want to keep your seat at the table. I really blame James Cameron because he’s a director. He also realizes if I want to keep working, I have to say this shit. James Cameron, who can boss you around? It’s like the bosses. He’s in his 70s.

Laci (00:59:06):

Okay, but Jimmy Moore’s perfect, especially for the movieThis Hubstance. It just is this, right? It’s like, how do I continue to stay current? What are my biggest assets? Let me keep selling my soul and doing it over and over and over again until I’m just a fucking unrecognizable blob monster. It’s perfect.

Matt (00:59:24):

Yeah. So that’s Reese Witherspoon.

Laci (00:59:26):

And

Matt (00:59:26):

Again, I don’t-

Laci (00:59:28):

Don’t send her any hate.

Matt (00:59:29):

I don’t think she’s personally evil. I don’t think she’s malicious. I don’t think she’s choosing to be a shield for all of this. I think her intentions are good and she just wants to work and be in a decision making capacity. And unfortunately, the world is in such a shitty place of terminal decline where this is the kind of shit you have to sell to be able to keep working and keep being the powerful person you want to be. So we’re going to talk now about Sweet Home Alabama.

Laci (00:59:52):

Okay.

Matt (00:59:53):

All is

Laci (00:59:54):

Not lost.

Matt (00:59:54):

And we’ll have a great time going down south where things are just a little bit different. Y’all You know what I love to see in a movie which will really get me going.

Laci (01:00:38):

Children kissing?

Matt (01:00:40):

Child romance.

Laci (01:00:41):

It’s my

Matt (01:00:42):

Favorite.

Laci (01:00:42):

It’s so uncomfortable. I was like, no, this is the way it starts. Matt’s going to leave me. Wait, but I didn’t make us watch this movie.

Matt (01:00:49):

Yeah, but you’re always saying I want more child romance, Matt. I want to see little babies being like, give me a big smooch and let’s get married.

Laci (01:00:57):

Disgusting. Okay.

Matt (01:00:58):

Dakota fanning though. Yeah. Hot off her performance in I Am Sam that made her-

Laci (01:01:04):

It’s a sex symbol clearly because now she’s in this movie. Jesus

Matt (01:01:07):

Christ.

Laci (01:01:08):

She’s in this movie and all she does is give this older kid a kiss.

Matt (01:01:13):

Isn’t it very weird to start a movie aside from the child romance? Sweet Home Alabama. Wow. The images it conjures in my head. Oh, Dark and Stormy. Yeah. She said opening Dark and Stormy is weird. Also, it’s so not Dark and Stormy. This is all CGI storm clouds and everything and it looks like shit.

Laci (01:01:29):

Got

Matt (01:01:30):

Them. Like Josh Lucas says at the end of the weather at the end of the movie, I can’t predict the winter, mama. Nor can I control that New York lady. Dakota Fanning is getting chased by this freak and the freak is like, “Hey, you going to marry me, Mary. I promise you going to marry me. ” And she’s like, “I ain’t going to marry you. I got too much to live for.

Laci (01:01:50):

” Alabama still allows child brides. Come on now.

Matt (01:01:55):

Too young to be a child bride, my God, and even in Alabama. So then lightning strikes the beach, leaves a little pool of glass and Jake’s like, “Look, lightning making glass, that’s my favorite thing. Don’t you find it as interesting as I do? ” And she’s like, “Not really.

Laci (01:02:08):

” I want to design clothing, Oshkosh, bigosh.

Matt (01:02:11):

Et cetera. And he’s like, “Any lightning in that? No, why’d you say you want to mirror me? ” And he’s like, “So I could kiss you whenever I want to. ” And then they’re about to go-

Laci (01:02:22):

They actually kiss them. A big

Matt (01:02:23):

Romantic embrace. But then lightning strikes them again.

Laci (01:02:26):

I don’t know. But it’s her dream, right? So who knows? She’s dreaming about child kissing.

Matt (01:02:32):

Who’s she?

Laci (01:02:34):

Oh, well it’s-

Matt (01:02:35):

Raceway.

Laci (01:02:37):

Carmichael. Why the fuck is … I can’t think of her first name.

Matt (01:02:40):

Melanie.

Laci (01:02:40):

Melanie Carmichael.

Matt (01:02:42):

Wakes up with her head on a desk surrounded by important papers and schematics and designs and a piece of pizza. She’s a busy

Laci (01:02:47):

Woman. She’s been working all night to get her collection in order because she’s about to show it, a big fashion show. Is this a big deal? I mean, she’s about to do something like the rarest of rarer peas. You don’t have to tell

Matt (01:03:00):

Me. Remember, I’m a fashion expert of the two of

Laci (01:03:01):

Us. I do remember now.

Matt (01:03:02):

But what’s notable is it’s storming outside. You see, she doesn’t even realize it, but this storming lightning puddle of goo is a part of her. If it rains, she can’t not have a dream about Jake, the lightning guy. And she looks up at the rain, she’s like, “What was that? ” And then all of her colleagues are like, “Melanie, you talk in your sleep and you talk in your Southern accent.” And she’s like, “You guys,” but they love her so much.

Laci (01:03:28):

They really do.

Matt (01:03:29):

She’s just killing it over here in New York. She’s in this awesome converted factory building. She’s walking around and she’s just shrudding on the streets of New York and gives the camera a little smile. She

Laci (01:03:38):

Does? Yeah. I feel like this opening happens in lots of her movies. And even the song that was chosen is an updated version of the song that plays in both Legally Blonde movies. It’s a perfect day. It’s something like that. Nothing’s going to go, everything’s going to go my way. And then I think, unless I’m confusing with Clueless, but that is very much the vibe and she’s just on the street. Upbeat on the street, Melanie.

Matt (01:04:04):

Gets into her apartment and it’s filled with rose petals.

Laci (01:04:07):

Okay. It is full of roses after. I would be so pissed. My house would smell like a funeral home. I’d then be responsible for disposing of all these farms. What am I supposed to

Matt (01:04:17):

Do with this? My God.

Laci (01:04:19):

I mean, it’s hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of flowers. I just wanted to give you roast for every moment, every time I thought of you. Fucking weirdo. I leave you alone overnight and you don’t order a pizza and watch some kind of shitty movie. You do this. Do you not need sleep, Mayor?

Matt (01:04:36):

It’s the ultimate rich kid thing because the only thing you associate rose petals with is like, I order the rose petals and I don’t know what happens afterward. Okay,

Laci (01:04:44):

But it’s not petals.

Matt (01:04:44):

The rose petal fairy comes and gets them. No, I know he orders tons of bouquets of roses and decorates the entire apartment floor with rose petals and leaves a voicemail saying, “A petal for every time I thought about you darling last night. But hey, I’m not pissed that you didn’t hang out with me last night. I’m giving you a good wishes and I’m so proud of you. ” He’s saying all of the right

Laci (01:05:04):

Boyfriends. Oh, he’s the best boyfriend. He’s got surgery to go to anyway.

Matt (01:05:08):

I want you to have so much confidence and you will because you’re going to kill it. He

Laci (01:05:11):

Also knows he’s about to propose to her this night. So he does make her big day about him, doesn’t he? He ends it with a charity thing that he forces her to go to with a mom that hates her. And your memory of this day, Melanie, will be how I closed down Tiffany’s for you to pick out any ring you want. Not that you had the biggest moment of anyone’s career.

Matt (01:05:34):

I think that’s good. I think two good things happening at once is like four times as good as two individual things happening. I think it’s always nice when two amazing things happen at the same time. So you’re wrongly-

Laci (01:05:45):

So unique of you. So there you go. I

Matt (01:05:47):

Know. I know.

Laci (01:05:48):

You love two good things.

Matt (01:05:50):

What I’m saying is there’s

Laci (01:05:51):

An equation. You love it. Yeah. No, it compounds and it’s like interest.

Matt (01:05:55):

Yeah.

Laci (01:05:56):

Yeah. No, I got you.

Matt (01:05:57):

So she’s that fashion week. It’s very hectic, but she is in control of her universe. And here Frederic is played by Nathan Lee Graham, who’s in Zulander, another fashion. We in the fashion industry love Zulander. He was in that movie. Blue

Laci (01:06:11):

Steel.

Matt (01:06:12):

And he is her mentor. And she’s like, “I’m so flustered right now, Frederick.” And he’s like, no, when I first met you-

Laci (01:06:19):

You just a debutante from Alabama, fresh off the plantation. And now you’re my steel Magnolia.

Matt (01:06:26):

You were right off the plantation. That’s

Laci (01:06:28):

Something they

Matt (01:06:28):

Always say.

Laci (01:06:29):

Well, and that’s something I’m comfortable saying. It’s a gay black man.

Matt (01:06:32):

Look at you, fresh from the plantation.

Laci (01:06:34):

Well, but if he’s kind of giving her a jab.

Matt (01:06:36):

He’s not though.

Laci (01:06:37):

I don’t know. You don’t think so? I don’t think this movie is

Matt (01:06:40):

Giving that a second’s though.

Laci (01:06:42):

Okay. Well, that’s outrageous because they do give the past of Alabama lots of thought in this movie. So they could have at least given that some.

Matt (01:06:50):

Yeah. All the past stuff they have is like, it was great.

Laci (01:06:53):

But it does seem like they’re also making fun of themselves for caring about those sorts of things.

Matt (01:06:58):

At the end of the movie, her dad shouts,

Laci (01:07:00):

“The South

Matt (01:07:00):

Has,

Laci (01:07:01):

And

Matt (01:07:01):

Everyone explodes in triumph.”

Laci (01:07:03):

Yes. If only slavery had never ended. The thing- Hi, Black man who taught my daughter everything and made her a success in New York. Do you feel comfortable in our home?

Matt (01:07:12):

He gives him the most evil look.

Laci (01:07:14):

He does? Fred

Matt (01:07:15):

Ward gives

Laci (01:07:16):

Frederick. That does sound

Matt (01:07:17):

Familiar.e because Frederick is her mom, Mary Kay Place is like giving, “Ooh, this is my little homo figure.” And he’s like, “Oh, I can see why your daughter gets her great taste.”

Laci (01:07:25):

Oh yeah.

Matt (01:07:26):

And the dad is just like, oh.

Laci (01:07:27):

Oh, you’re right.

Matt (01:07:28):

And is it that he’s gay

Laci (01:07:29):

Or

Matt (01:07:29):

Black or who knows?

Laci (01:07:31):

Or that he thinks his wife has terrible taste.

Matt (01:07:33):

That’s it. That’s

Laci (01:07:34):

The third one. Or just like nobody hits on my woman.

Matt (01:07:38):

Okay. Then that’s the nice reading of it. All right. So it’s like, not only is she in the big city, she is surrounded by people who just love and adore her. And she doesn’t even pretend that she’s not from Alabama. They think it’s a charming thing about her too.

Laci (01:07:51):

Right. It’s confounding. I mean, a lot he mentor is where she lucked out. It has to be. I mean, he vouched for her and then she started making friends that then make her not … I don’t know. I’m just saying someone gave her a big fucking break because that accent, those looks, you want to do frilly clothes. Get the fuck out here, wait in line.

Matt (01:08:15):

So Patrick Dempsey is Andrew Hennings who arrives and she jumps in his arms. She’s like, “I’m so nervous. I’m so worried what my critics will say about me. ” And he’s like, “You don’t have to worry, but the critics say it doesn’t matter.” And she’s like, “But you’re a blue blood.You have thick skin.”

Laci (01:08:31):

And I love that about you. It’s all so fucking sacchary sweet. It’s like, “Oh, Melanie, you being. This is why I love you. ” I

Matt (01:08:40):

Love that you’re so thin-skinned and worried that they’re going to discover you’re a litle hick from the provinces who’s going to get kicked out of town.

Laci (01:08:45):

I just sharded and that’s why I love you, Melanie. You’re so different from my mama.

Matt (01:08:53):

She’s not hiding who she is. Although

Laci (01:08:56):

As we find out-

Matt (01:08:57):

She’s lying. She’s like a con artist,

Laci (01:08:59):

Basically. Yes. She said she’s from the, not just a debutante, but comes from the most wealthy family of Alabama. So why even say it’s Alabama because you can’t hide your accent? I mean, she’s honest that she has parents and that they live in Alabama, but it’s obviously she’s been avoiding him meeting them because of all the lies.

Matt (01:09:19):

I compare this to up in the air when George

Laci (01:09:22):

Craney

Matt (01:09:22):

Takes

Laci (01:09:23):

Vera

Matt (01:09:23):

Farmiga to his brother’s wedding.

Laci (01:09:26):

What was your plan? Why go this far?

Matt (01:09:29):

And for those who don’t remember, Viera Farmiga is, she’s his fuck buddy on the road, but he’s like, “Hey, let’s take things up to the next level. Come to my brother’s wedding.” And she goes and then later discovers she’s- She’s married and has a family. And why I bring that up is like the movie doesn’t seem aware of how psychotic that makes her look. And I think similarly here, this is a way bigger lie than the movie

Laci (01:09:55):

Seems to be treating you. Yes. I’m on the mom’s side. You are in politics. This is a huge lie. She’s the on

Matt (01:10:00):

Draper.

Laci (01:10:01):

Yes.

Matt (01:10:02):

It’s not just that she’s lying about her past. She took someone else’s. The Carmichaels are real people.

Laci (01:10:08):

Right. I mean, luckily there is no Melanie Carmichael, but that made your school really easy to look up. Does that mean you didn’t go to school, Melanie? What the fuck?

Matt (01:10:17):

Anyway, they got the fundraisers tonight. I was like, “Hey babe, we got to go to the fundraiser.” Oh yeah, the fundraiser. Okay. Yeah, with your mother. Oh, the mother. She gets into a limo, she’s going off to the fundraiser and the chauffeur is like, “Miss Carl Michael and Mr. Hemings said that you have to go through this door.” She goes to this door and she’s like, “Oh, what’s through this door? I wonder.” And her-

Laci (01:10:36):

Baby bobby boop, it’s Tiffany’s. And this man has interrupted a whole lot of people’s day and night for them to all man the 27 counters of Tiffany’s and pull out five to 10 rings each. How many rings does she … And also you looked at that many and you went with that one. I’ll take the square.

Matt (01:10:58):

Fashion expert, not a diamond expert.

Laci (01:10:59):

Okay. Well, I mean, two people tops could have done this for you. You didn’t need it to have all- It’s a lot of people. … the entire staff. And they’re all just like, “She said yes, I can’t believe he hadn’t proposed yet. What if she had said no, I’m fucking missing my son’s soccer game for no- The

Matt (01:11:14):

Way some of these people are shot makes it seem like these are cameos from … If you know Tiffany’s, that’s Mr. Tiffany himself. Wow.

Laci (01:11:22):

It’s more just like this is a very recognizable way that a high priced retail employee is very type is a very specific. So if you work at a really high retail place like this like Saks Fifth Avenue or I don’t even know the fucking names of things because it’s too rich for my blood, but it’s the same way as like working at a really nice restaurant, you can make a career out of it, but that pays that much more. It’s that much more prestigious. So anyway, these people totally read as stuffy. You’re too low quality to be in here. Do you work off commission? Big mistake, big.

Matt (01:11:57):

It would be funny if she said no and all of these people had to be like …

Laci (01:12:02):

Right, because he’s a public figure. He’s not just the guy that rented this place out. We know him. We really know his mom. Okay. Also, would a town, would a city just love a mother and son political team? Would that be just a darling thing?

Matt (01:12:18):

I think so. Well, by love, I mean, they’d love to pay attention to it. But

Laci (01:12:22):

He seems to be like, he’s the most eligible bachelor. I don’t know. I think the spin might be he’s the biggest. Mommy’s boy.

Matt (01:12:29):

See, no, that’s an angle you can have. It’s like the Royals. You can be like, ” I’m obsessed with the Royals and I hate them. “He must have good politics. And Hillary Clinton had just become the senator of New York. So I think she’s way more Hillary Clinton, Candace Bergen than Jackie Onassis.

Laci (01:12:44):

Oh yeah, for sure.

Matt (01:12:45):

But Candace Bergen is the mayor of New York, which we find out.

Laci (01:12:49):

Oh my God. And what is he? He’s a senator or something or what? I don’t

Matt (01:12:51):

Think he’s anything.

Laci (01:12:53):

He’s running for office. And he’s something because they interview him.

Matt (01:12:57):

So they talk to him and I couldn’t tell if they’re talking about him being like the secretary of urban development or

Laci (01:13:02):

Something or- Yeah, he’s in an elected position working his way up the ladder.

Matt (01:13:07):

Yeah. No matter what, it’s like, well, clearly they’re grooming him

Laci (01:13:10):

One

Matt (01:13:10):

Day. First the mother, then the son. All the paparazzo are like, ” Madam Mayor, is your son engaged? “And she’s like, ” Trust me, if you were engaged, I’d know it, but we cut over to the lemma.

Laci (01:13:20):

“Oh, I feel a setup.

Matt (01:13:22):

And Reese Witherspoon’s like, ” Mr. Chauffer, can you put up that privacy shield?

Laci (01:13:26):

“I’m going to suck his dig right quick.

Matt (01:13:28):

Just rat quick.

Laci (01:13:30):

Just get a quick suck in.

Matt (01:13:32):

Get a quick sucking going. And so after they get the sucking going, Patrick Dempsey’s like, ” We got to call everyone. “He sounds so much like Rob Low. It’s

Laci (01:13:40):

So weird. While you’re on my dick, I want to call your mother. I want

Matt (01:13:43):

To literally call everyone. Let’s call your parents. And she’s like, ” No, not my parents. I got to tell them

Laci (01:13:48):

In

Matt (01:13:48):

Person. I got to tell them in person. I haven’t seen them in seven years. They need to see me in person. So no telling anybody until then. And he’s like, okay, great. Here’s how we’ll keep the secret. I shall turn the

Laci (01:13:59):

Rig. “What a responsible thing to do. It’s so important for no one to know. It’s the size of a fucking quarter.

Matt (01:14:07):

They get out. Candace Bergen showers her baby boy with kisses and then gives Melanie a firm handshake. But I do really love the way this is shot is it’s just on their faces. She feels the ring and you just see Candice Fergan’s face get very, very stern. “Are you engaged?” And then the newspaper headlines, he’s engaged.

Laci (01:14:28):

And I like that. I mean, she’s like such a darling, but all of the shots of her in the newspaper, she looks very stupid.

Matt (01:14:35):

Melanie or

Laci (01:14:35):

Mary? Melanie. Melanie. I mean, she’s just got it going on a little too much. You can get sick of it for someone who’s just really got it all figured out if even all of that was adorable, but it’s like

Matt (01:14:48):

Candace Bergen’s objection is the same thing my mom revealed to me in therapy she objected to was that I didn’t go to her and say, “Mom, dad, I want to

Laci (01:14:55):

Marry

Matt (01:14:56):

My wife.”

Laci (01:14:56):

Okay. Well, sure. I’m sure she’d love that, but her real objection is that this person is not from California or any place prestigious, plus she has an accent. It’s a democratic- You didn’t have that much mention. … mayor here. We both know it’s because I was from the South Shore and you’re from the North Shore. Different

Matt (01:15:13):

Worlds. They are.

Laci (01:15:15):

They’re always

Matt (01:15:15):

Divided. Anyway, so all the newspaper has a mayor son engaged to Hick. Bitch, read all about it. Wow. But this movie’s trucking along because now we’re in Alabama. She’s just got to go take care of some business and we think it’s to tell her parents I’m getting married, but no.

Laci (01:15:30):

And I like what they do how they have her driving through really charming area of Alabama with these beautiful mansion houses or whatever. And then she’s in pigeon fuck hole or whatever. Pigeon butt. What is it?

Matt (01:15:44):

Pigeon Creek.

Laci (01:15:45):

Yeah. But it goes straight into the town from-

Matt (01:15:51):

From nothing but trouble.

Laci (01:15:52):

Nothing but trouble, right? Just people just sitting outside.

Matt (01:15:56):

She drives through the nice town, which is Greenville or Greenville and then to the shit town, which is Pigeon

Laci (01:16:01):

Creek. Pigeon shit.

Matt (01:16:02):

Both

Laci (01:16:03):

Of

Matt (01:16:03):

These are fake towns and drives to this ramshackle house where a big hound dog greets her and Josh Lucas comes out of the house.

Laci (01:16:11):

But note this, that this is basically a mansion compared to what she then goes to that is her mom and dad’s house. You think she’s going to the shitty place first and it’s like the reveal is no, she was poorer than him.

Matt (01:16:25):

Yeah. It would be nice if … Well, he doesn’t recognize her and he’s like, “Oh, the old hound dog don’t bite. How can I help you, ma’am?” He doesn’t recognize ReeseSmitherspoon. She’s like, “How about you get your lazy ass down and give me a divorce?” And her accent is just a little bit more elevated than it has been so far. It really would be fun to see this movie and not know this.

Laci (01:16:46):

Not know what?

Matt (01:16:47):

That she’s married to this

Laci (01:16:49):

Guy,

Matt (01:16:49):

That that’s the premise of the movie is sorry I never told anybody. I’m literally still married.

Laci (01:16:54):

I got to go

Matt (01:16:54):

Divorce my weird husband in Alabama.

Laci (01:16:57):

Weird hot husband.

Matt (01:16:59):

And he’s like, “Are you shitting me? ” She’s like, “I never understood the expression, but no, I am not shitting you, sir.” You show up after seven years here with not so much a, “Hey, Jake, it’s me, your wife. It’s good to see you. ” And she says, “You want me to tell you you look good? Don’t they got no soap down at the Piggly Wiggly where you work?” She just starts on immediately with the insult. She’s an asshole. Yes. I really picked up on how much of an asshole she is the second time I watched

Laci (01:17:24):

It. Yeah. Well, but we don’t know what she … We know her mom made her feel pressured to get out of that town and I guess she’s been trying to get the divorce handled remotely, just like, “Just please sign this. Can you sign this? ” I mean, if he’s been stubborn and not saying why, that’s annoying. Cost her entire flight to get down there and physically get him to sign. I’d be annoyed too. All

Matt (01:17:47):

Right. Here’s where I think that this movie is, I think the script sucks and I think it’s also just directed badly because it really, really relies on closeups of these actors just doing reaction faces to sell jokes that aren’t that good and to sort of trick you into being like, “Ooh, the electric fireball screwball comedy, we’re getting right here, but we’re not. ” They laugh at that joke up north and she just goes … I don’t know. I feel like there’s a charge that we should be getting here of suddenly the real firecracker ReeseSmitherspoon comes out now that she’s in this place, but she’s not. And then there’s this thing with the dog is barking and they both shout simultaneously, “Shut up, Bear. Shut up, Bryant.” Bear Bryant Laci was the legendary coach of Alabama football. But okay, later in the movie, the most important scene is when she cries at the gravestone of the dog, the dead dog bear.

Laci (01:18:46):

Yeah. What are you confused about?

Matt (01:18:49):

But right here, she thinks that that dog is still alive. What kind of dumb ass doesn’t know the difference between two dogs? Hand

Laci (01:18:58):

Dogs look very similar.

Matt (01:19:00):

Okay, but if she had the relationship with the dog that she later sells with her crying,

Laci (01:19:04):

Right

Matt (01:19:04):

Here it would be like, “I’m so glad to see you, old friend.”

Laci (01:19:08):

I got you. But seeing your ex- husband and you’re pissed for the first time in seven years, your focus is going to be on him and then your muscle memory’s going to kick in when you’re, you used to say, “Shut up, bear all the time.” And also when she’s crying at the grave site about the dog, it’s about her husband. It’s not really about the dog.

Matt (01:19:27):

No, but it’s when she says, “You must have been so confused, you thought I abandoned you. ” She is selling like-

Laci (01:19:32):

She’s talking about the husband.

Matt (01:19:34):

I know she’s literally talking

Laci (01:19:35):

About- I’m just saying, you’re right. The emotion seems too big later for what it is here. I mean, she does have a moment of like, “Oh, I’m sorry.” And then what she does when she fixes up the house is she frames a picture of Bear and puts it right by the door. I mean, there’s little things. I find this believable because they interweave these little moments of like, “We really know each other. We really have a history that goes ways back. I know your people, you know my people. We make so much sense together. What are we doing?” So I just think that’s all that that is. It’s to show their connection because right now they’re just being assholes to each other.

Matt (01:20:13):

Yeah. What happened to Bear? He died. Yo weren’t here.

Laci (01:20:16):

Right. That’s how that worked.

Matt (01:20:17):

But he’s just refusing to sign the papers, which doesn’t jive with who we find out he is, which is like he’s just a decent guy and he’s just like, “I’m being an asshole to not

Laci (01:20:29):

Sign.” I mean, to be fair, she did come in without any benefit of any doubt, just totally like, “You piece of shit. You signed my fucking shit papers now.” She came in hot. She could have,

Matt (01:20:41):

Yeah, come in a little more.

Laci (01:20:42):

I have a feeling that they have a history of matching heightened level. They match each other in terms of how aggressive they’re going to be. If you’re going to be a little bitch today, then I’m going to be a little asshole today.

Matt (01:20:56):

Well, then I almost wish she showed up and she was acting so like New York and

Laci (01:21:01):

High

Matt (01:21:02):

Society.

Laci (01:21:03):

It’s boring. So boring. It’s boring. I know. I’m glad she immediately did because she’s never stopped thinking about him. The dream tells you that. She ran away from this life and never really figured out or had closure on it, just fucking pretended it wasn’t there, proceeded to lie, but then got probably more successful than she ever dreamed and now she’s got to keep lying. It just got to exist with a pit in your stomach. I didn’t mean to become a professional and be in articles and be lying. I didn’t mean to. Does seven years just zip by?

Matt (01:21:34):

He locks her out of the house. I ain’t signing up pipers, but she knows where the key’s hidden, so she just lets herself in. And we cut back over to New York where the mayor of New York Candace Bergen is reading a profile of Melanie and GQ about how she was born into one of the wealthiest families in Greenville. Her daddy’s in cotton and all that implies and her aides are like, “We can’t find any intel on Melanie Carmichael in Alabama.” And Candace Bergin’s like, “Whatever happened to responsible journalism.” And she’s right. This is a journalism scandal. This is the Mantito thing. Nobody did basic … Your job as a journalist is to do some really basic verification. But

Laci (01:22:10):

These are like New York journalists and-

Matt (01:22:13):

It’s GQ.

Laci (01:22:13):

Okay. Well, GQ journalist and she’s got a country accent. They’re like, “That checks out. “

Matt (01:22:19):

Yeah. Who would

Laci (01:22:20):

Claim Alabama if it wasn’t Alabama? Who cares that it’s … Rich Alabama equals trashiest California.

Matt (01:22:28):

Again, it’s just she’s an imposter, that’s the movie. My son doesn’t even actually want to marry this girl. He’s still getting over the last girl. He was with a nice lawyer from California, much better for our election map. And then we

Laci (01:22:45):

See- She doesn’t even know her name.

Matt (01:22:47):

Yeah. We see Patrick Dempsey talking to his buddy and he’s like, “I got engaged last night. My mom was so pissed,” which seems like the movie suggesting like, “Oh, maybe he doesn’t love her.” But then it totally abandons that. No, no, no. He loves Reese Witherspoon. This isn’t just about him trying to piss off his mom.

Laci (01:23:03):

I think the movie wants to give you little moments of like, “Oh, I know where this is going. Oh, I don’t know where this is going. Oh, I get him. No, I don’t.” I mean, it plays with your expectations that way. I think you’re supposed to be wondering, is it going to be the mom or him that fucked this up, but it’s her. It ends up being Melanie.

Matt (01:23:19):

I wanted to track though and make me think I’m looking at the same character every time I see him,

(01:23:26):

But his mom calls him and she’s like, “Hey, surprisingly, my approval rating’s gone up to a point since the wedding announcement. So I like the way this is all going. So let’s start being really invested in this wedding now. Let’s start planning. And by the way, your little fiance there, if she’s got any skeletons in her closet, we need to find out. We need to do apo research because the reporters are going to descend on her like hornets. So we got to figure it out if she’s got any skeletons in her closet. And again, the mom is right. I’m on the mom’s side.

Laci (01:23:54):

Yeah. All

Matt (01:23:55):

Right. So Jake, Josh Lucas calls the sheriff to get … Reese Wither’s been kicked out of his house, but it turns out the sheriff’s just her old pal wave.

Laci (01:24:03):

It used to be his dad, which would’ve worked, but this time it doesn’t work.

Matt (01:24:07):

Why?

Laci (01:24:07):

I mean, it does and it doesn’t.

Matt (01:24:10):

Everyone in town when they see her is just fucking delighted. Yeah,

Laci (01:24:12):

Because the town is small and they really stick together. I think they do a good job of showing how charming small towns can be, especially when a Southern person they don’t know walks in and says,” I need to see Melanie Carmichael. Never heard of her. What business do you have with her? “”I can’t say.” “Well, then we’ve never heard of her. “They protect each other and this reads as real. I mean, the way he’s acting, these memories they all share. You remember the great cow fire of 1920 … No, let’s do … Damn, it’s a cow fire. I allow it. I like it. I like how much they like her.

Matt (01:24:51):

I wasn’t saying I don’t like it. I do like it, but it’s like Reese Witherspoon just arrived. Reese Whetherspoon. And he’s like, ” Hell Jake, I can’t kick her out. It’s her house too. You’re still married. “And he’s like, ” I believe she still has some outstanding arrest warrants. Didn’t she dump your mama’s tractor in the catfish pond or whatever? “And like, ” Oh God, you’re right. So she’s taken to jail.

Laci (01:25:16):

“Actually, that was a big secret and so Melanie felt very betrayed. “Fuck you, Jake. Some stuff’s between us and now you’re mad at me so you’re breaking bonds here, buddy. They’re both being very loosey goosey with things that they should not be saying. They’re burning bridges.

Matt (01:25:34):

Do we think she has to return to Pigeon Forge after the movie for the court date for this tractor dumping thing?

Laci (01:25:40):

Positive.

Matt (01:25:41):

She finds herself arrested and so she calls her parents. We meet her parents, played by Fred Ward and Mary Kay Place. Great character actors. Both, they live in a double wide trailer. “Mama, can you come get me from jail?” So the dad goes and picks her up and immediately the exposition dump of like, he’s still sore because he paid for a wedding that didn’t … What happened with Josh Lucas? He got drunk at the wedding and didn’t end up dancing at the reception or whatever.

Laci (01:26:07):

I don’t know why. I mean, did she literally leave at the wedding? I don’t think so. Is that her thing? Okay. Well, I mean, she’s describing the wedding night and it sounds awful and familiar that he threw up all down her dress. Can you fucking imagine being a bride and your drunk person you just married throws up all over your dress? And

Matt (01:26:26):

When she says that, the dad’s like, “Well, can you blame him? He was nervous.” And she’s like,

Laci (01:26:30):

“Yeah,

Matt (01:26:30):

He’s the son you never

Laci (01:26:31):

Had.” It is fucking

Matt (01:26:33):

Weird the dad is when your dad takes-

Laci (01:26:35):

But there’s a swap there, right? Because she’s the only daughter of this family and only child. He’s the only son and only child of the other family. So Jake’s mom is just as deferential to her because she’s the daughter she … So even there, they are matched.

Matt (01:26:52):

Oh, you’re right. Yeah.

Laci (01:26:53):

It’s really sweet.

Matt (01:26:54):

But he’s like, you think of him as that slob who threw up down your dress. He’s actually changed. He’s like a grown man now. He’s kind of fetching and successful in small business and everything. And she’s like, “Shut up, daddy.” And they go to the house. The dad is very excited to show this new chair that he’s gotten for Christmas, just one of these runners the movie thinks is much funnier than it is. It’s

Laci (01:27:17):

Not. Wow, that chair made you go backwards hard.

Matt (01:27:21):

I got this for Christmas. She’s like, “Isn’t that the Christmas you were supposed to come see me in New York?”

Laci (01:27:26):

It’s kind of shitty that she bought them tickets and asked them to come and then they didn’t do it.

Matt (01:27:31):

Yeah, I know. It’s also, why is the movie not making anything Reese Witherspoon’s fault? Harens are literally neglecting her. It’s not that she’s neglecting her parents. She bought them. “Please come see me. I want you to come spend Christmas with me. I bought you the fucking plane tickets and you just didn’t because you said you were busy.

Laci (01:27:47):

“And this is confusing because mom, me living in New York is literally me doing your dream. No,

Matt (01:27:54):

The mom makes no sense.

Laci (01:27:55):

It makes no fuck. I did not understand.

Matt (01:27:58):

I mean, makes no sense from scene to scene. It’s

Laci (01:28:00):

Like, ” I need

Matt (01:28:00):

You to get out of here. No, I don’t want to hear about your big fancy life out there.

Laci (01:28:06):

“My only thing is that, okay, I guess because she’s jealous of it in a way or doesn’t want to see it because she still regrets that she got stuck here. I mean, you’re right though. It’s probably just bad writing. It’s a confusing character.

Matt (01:28:19):

But we do get our first look at one of many Confederate flags in

Laci (01:28:22):

The house. There’s two in this one fucking room.

Matt (01:28:27):

They see her wedding ring and they’re like, ” Oh my God, that’s a huge wedding ring. “And the dad’s like, ” Honey, why don’t you get some of that blowny cake out of the asbox?

Laci (01:28:33):

“What the fuck is a bologna cake? I don’t know. I was like, ” Is that a Sarah Lee cake? She didn’t bake it so it’s baloney. It’s fake cake.

Matt (01:28:42):

“As in stupid?

Laci (01:28:43):

No, just it’s cheap. It’s easy.

Matt (01:28:46):

Okay.

Laci (01:28:47):

I mean,

Matt (01:28:47):

That’s what it is,

Laci (01:28:49):

But- Baloney cake, because if it’s not homemade, it’s baloney. It has to be.

Matt (01:28:53):

It’s the next day. Melanie’s going around town. She’s on the phone with her lawyer, Mr. Buford. How long does a contested divorce take? 18 months. I don’t got 18 months. I need to be divorced right now. And then she runs into Ethan Embry, who we just met in Cant Hardly Wait a few weeks ago. He’s Bobby Ray, her old friend.

Laci (01:29:13):

And the movie didn’t have to put a gay character in the mix here. There was no reason to do it, but when you told me who wrote it, is the writer who has … I think it’s sweet and I think it is touching at least on something that is different about living in the South and how far behind we are and were in terms of people being able to be their authentic selves. I mean, this movie was way ahead of its time and still it does hardly anything to make you go, ” Oh, they accept him.

Matt (01:29:46):

“Man, I disagree. I think we want to assure people who don’t live in the South, these people aren’t evil, that a character can be gay. He’s been so afraid of coming out his whole life and as soon as he does, everybody’s like, We love you. We accept you. It doesn’t want to be ugly at all about what actually would happen.

Laci (01:30:05):

But why put him in … Okay. You’re saying he’s there to make everyone feel okay about the southerner jokes. About the

Matt (01:30:12):

Movie they’re watching. Yeah. I

Laci (01:30:14):

Just put it somewhere else. Put this movie in Tennessee. I don’t know. I just feel like Alabama is a big one. It’s a real shit choice. South is a south. I know. The

Matt (01:30:25):

South is a south. I also think everywhere is racist and homophobic.

Laci (01:30:31):

Sure.

Matt (01:30:31):

I know that it’s different in the south, but-

Laci (01:30:33):

This could have been New Hampshire. I mean,

Matt (01:30:37):

You go into a small town and the south is everywhere. If you go into parts of Ohio or Idaho or wherever, it’s just the south. So she starts talking to him and yeah, he’s like, “Hey, you used to be hot and heavy with that girl in high school.” And he’s like, “No, she ended up becoming a women’s softball coach if you know what I mean. Wink, wink.” And Reese Mithersman’s like, “That explains why she wanted to play post office with me. What fuck does that mean?” It’s

Laci (01:31:00):

Mailman. I mean, it’s a game that people in the country play.

Matt (01:31:04):

Where you finger each other, what does that

Laci (01:31:07):

Mean? No. It’s like a kissing game.

Matt (01:31:10):

Why is it called Mailman?

Laci (01:31:11):

It’s called … I don’t fucking know. I just know my mom used to play it doctor and post office. They both were sexual.

Matt (01:31:17):

The doctor thing makes

Laci (01:31:18):

More sense. Do you think I ever got her to explain? I just

Matt (01:31:21):

Know- Mom. Why is she called male man? So Melanie’s like, “Oh, oh softball. I guess we all have our secrets.” And then he’s like, “Yes, we do. ” And they exchange significant looks because he’s a gay man. And also because he’s a gay man, like all gay men, he loves fashion and has been following her career.

Laci (01:31:40):

And another tie to Devil wears proud of where it’s like the one gay character has to know so much about fashion. Why the fuck would that be?

Matt (01:31:47):

And on behalf of all my gay friends who are slobs, I object who don’t know anything about fashion

Laci (01:31:53):

Unlike me. It’s good of you.

Matt (01:31:55):

You’re welcome. You didn’t say thank you. She goes into the bank and there’s the first black person we see in town. You know what

Laci (01:32:02):

Alabama- I like that he doesn’t like her.

Matt (01:32:04):

I think I counted three black people who say lines in Alabama other than her friend Frederick

Laci (01:32:09):

And

Matt (01:32:09):

They’re all treating her very standoffishly.

Laci (01:32:12):

Yes. Because she was a handful and she was a white handful. That’s what it is. Yes. I mean, because she’s a con woman or whatever, but there were signs all along. I mean, she does things that are impulsive and because she’s cute as a button gets away with things, she was bored.

Matt (01:32:34):

That’s why shes-

Laci (01:32:35):

Got up to a lot of fucking trouble.

Matt (01:32:37):

Yeah, you stole all the catfish out of our pond. That’s what we ate and made a living off of. Thanks a lot. So Mary Lynn Ricecup is the bank clerk and she’s like, “Oh, do we have any ATM machines?” No, we don’t have them fancy ATM machines down here in the South. So you need to make a withdrawal from your joint bank account. And she’s like, “What do you mean joint bank account? Oh, you know the joint bank account you have with your old husband, Josh Lucas.” And she’s like, “Ooh, so. ” So then we go back to Jake’s house and it’s all

Laci (01:33:08):

Tidied up. It’s just very stupid because all this is happening in a day. You can’t get a fucking refrigerator delivered in a day installed. It’s very Tracy Flick or whatever. She just got it all done. She’s a wonder woman. She had two hours to kill. She’s fucking

Matt (01:33:24):

Capable.

Laci (01:33:24):

Right. It’s annoying.

Matt (01:33:25):

Well, and she’s making dinner.

Laci (01:33:26):

And she stocked the refrigerator with light beer and salad.

Matt (01:33:29):

What happened to my heavy bear? And so what is this? I love Lucy shit. And also I thought that this was going to be the rest of the movie. I really did. And I was not happy about that idea. You wanted to be married? You’re married to me. No more going out. Cat calling, missed her. No watching football. You’re going to go to baby showers and stuff. But then very quickly she’s like, “I took all your money out of the bank account you asshole and I’ll give it all back if you just sign the divorce papers.” And he’s like, “Okay, fine, fine. Here, let me sign.” And as he’s about to sign, she’s like, “What are you doing with all that money just sitting in the bank? You got to be investing like a smart New York person like me. ” So just turn it back into an asshole and he’s like, “Fuck you, I’m not going to sign.

(01:34:08):

Don’t tell me what to do. By the way, I have a hot date tonight, so I’ll sign in the future.” And she needs

Laci (01:34:15):

To- And he’s enjoying that she’s around and she’s enjoying that she’s around. They can’t help but just be meddling each other’s lives. If she really wanted those paper sign and that’s it, then she should have just not asked the follow-up question. But she’s worried that he was doing something illegal like smuggling or whatever or drug dealing.That’s all through her concern about like, where’s he getting this money? I care about him. I don’t want him to be doing something bad.

Matt (01:34:37):

Not your problem. Just get that signature, get out of here.

Laci (01:34:40):

But it’s just showing you of the love.

Matt (01:34:43):

The love. It’s so much love. She follows him out on his hot date to the Honky Talk.

Laci (01:34:48):

One place, to the one place, the one bar and his mom owns that bar. Where would you bring a hot date, Matt? To your mom’s place of employment? Is that where you’d go?

Matt (01:34:56):

If it’s the only place.

Laci (01:34:57):

I guess so.

Matt (01:34:59):

It’s like Josh Broland in No Country for Old Men. Where’d you get that gun? The get in place. It’s the only place. We meet Melanie Linsky playing Lerlin. We get the famous, look at you, you have a baby in a bar. I designed- This

Laci (01:35:13):

One’s still on the tit so I can just cart them around.

Matt (01:35:17):

She tells her like, “Yeah, I designed clothes. I’m like a very rich and famous fashion lady now.” And I do like that this character Lerlyn is just like, “Oh yeah, I think I heard that. ” Yeah.

Laci (01:35:27):

Right.

Matt (01:35:28):

Cool. There’s the thing-

Laci (01:35:30):

Then the big joke is she says, “Do you know Jacqueline Smith or whatever?” Which is like a Walmart designer. And it’s like, oh yeah, I know her. Yeah, right. We don’t run in the same circle. That’s funny. I guess. See,

Matt (01:35:41):

You have things to teach me about fashion. There’s a thing with a Melanie … She’s at the honky-tonk. She’s in her element. All these people are like, “Melanie, you’re crazy lady. Welcome back. Let’s do a Melanie sandwich.” One of these guys is Johnny from Deadwood. Great to see him.

Laci (01:35:56):

That’s who he is. I couldn’t play some.

Matt (01:35:59):

They’re playing pools. She fits

Laci (01:36:00):

Right fun.

Matt (01:36:01):

I know. I don’t know. In New York, she would make this part of her persona is like, get a few drinks and Melanie that Southern accent comes out. You’ll have fun with her. She’s acting like she hasn’t done this in years and years. And the thing is went out and drank alcohol because later she’s like, “How can you animals live like this? ” And being with your friends in a bar, what’s wrong with you?

Laci (01:36:29):

Well, I think she’s just trying to talk herself out of it. “I made the right decision. I don’t miss this at all.

Matt (01:36:37):

“Yeah. They’re telling their stories. Remember the big football game where you threw the touchdown pass? Wow. Reese Witherspoon’s like, “That’s the night he got me pregnant. “Jesus. Everybody’s like, ” Oh. She had a mischaracter.

Laci (01:36:54):

“Does that mean they had a shotgun wedding and then that’s why she left it? Okay. That’s pretty traumatic.

Matt (01:36:59):

Yeah. And he’s like, ” Does everybody need to know … Yeah, tell everybody, please. Thank you. “And she’s like, ” Oh, come on Josh. “Come

Laci (01:37:10):

On.

Matt (01:37:11):

It’s not like anyone can keep

Laci (01:37:12):

A secret around here. Keep

Matt (01:37:13):

Standing beek. Except for Bobby Ray, who is a homosexual.

Laci (01:37:17):

Shit like fucking Christ.

Matt (01:37:20):

Ouch. He responds by saying,” At least I didn’t called Less Than Mediocre by women’s wounds wear daily. “And once again, everybody’s like, ” Oh. “So she’s very drunk and she’s going to drive home and she’s lecturing everybody about how … You all live like fucking hillbillies in this bar listening to music on a radio. What’s wrong with you?

Laci (01:37:40):

The biggest victim of this entire movie though is Star, right?

Matt (01:37:44):

Who’s star?

Laci (01:37:45):

The person he’s on the hot date with who is totally just watching them fall back in love and then she’s about to just graciously be like, ” Okay, I get it. Your ex- wife’s here bye. “And he’s like, ” Can you follow us home? Jesus Christ. You know your all’s homes are like seven miles apart, right? Down dirt roads, let me follow your drunk ass so that … “Well, he’s not drunk.

Matt (01:38:06):

Justice for Star, you’re right. Star doesn’t come back. This movie wraps up so many things. We see that Andrew gets to live happily ever after. We should get a picture of Star with someone. She’s a third with Melanie’s parents now.

Laci (01:38:20):

That’s perfect.

Matt (01:38:20):

We get a classic drunk like, ” Get him out Parse at a Reese Mitherspoon. “I

Laci (01:38:26):

Don’t know yet.

Matt (01:38:27):

No drunker word than Purse.

Laci (01:38:29):

But

Matt (01:38:29):

It’s the next morning Reese Witherson wakes up

Laci (01:38:31):

Hungover. I feel her hanging over. Yeah, right. I’m going to get in a fucking plane feeling like that.

Matt (01:38:36):

She doesn’t get in the plane.

Laci (01:38:37):

That’s probably why

Matt (01:38:37):

She’s like, “

Laci (01:38:38):

Huh. “Say it. That does bother me. On the one hand, when someone’s hungover and I can tell they are, I start to feel that way too. But then in the movie, The Hangover, when they’re capable of doing so many things that you shouldn’t be able to while in a hangover, that also pisses me off. Do

Matt (01:38:56):

You remember though she’s literally 25 years old.

Laci (01:38:59):

Is she? Is that

Matt (01:38:59):

How she- Yeah. I think both the- And the character.

Laci (01:39:03):

Yeah.

Matt (01:39:04):

25.

Laci (01:39:06):

Still drinking age. Hanging over age.

Matt (01:39:11):

Jake has signed the papers. So it’s like dilemma of the movie over or is it? She goes out into the living room and sees her dad putting on his Confederate Colonel costume because he’s going to … And she sees him and the score does just this ridiculous Dixie thing. Diane, you’re still doing all that. A book

Laci (01:39:32):

Recommendation. It’s like the one thing I do a year, so yeah.

Matt (01:39:35):

I’m just doing this all of the time. Tony Horowitz wrote a great book.

Laci (01:39:40):

No, they make it a point to let you know this is their season of that. This is when tourists come. That’s why Bobby Ray was at his grandpa’s because this is the one thing that brings people to their town. So this is like a moment. That’s why they’re having affair.

Matt (01:39:55):

Alabama, if I’m remembering my history, does not have many civil war, important civil

Laci (01:40:00):

War sites. You and pigeon fuck Alabama. Yeah.

Matt (01:40:03):

But read Tony Horwitz’s book, Confederates of the Attic is a great book about the cult of people cosplaying as Civil War soldiers and how many people, how it’s like 95% of people want to be Confederates and not union soldiers. And it’s just the cult of the Confederacy.

Laci (01:40:20):

Bizarre. Yeah.

Matt (01:40:21):

And then also-

Laci (01:40:22):

I never hear about a union guy.

Matt (01:40:23):

No, I know. That’s why I said I wanted to wear my Ulysseses Grant shirt, but I couldn’t find it.

Laci (01:40:28):

Was he in the Union or the Confederacy?

Matt (01:40:30):

He was the union general. He won the war.

Laci (01:40:32):

Good for him. I haven’t gotten to that part yet.

Matt (01:40:35):

Sorry.

Laci (01:40:37):

In the book.

Matt (01:40:37):

But I also just love reading about that stuff because it’s like until the internet, this is what old men were nerds

Laci (01:40:43):

About. That’s why I was mad at you yesterday because I thought you were talking about someone who loved slavery. I’m like, why would you have that shirt, Matt? Why would you tell people you have a shirt like that? That’s not funny.

Matt (01:40:52):

It’s literally the opposite.

Laci (01:40:53):

I didn’t know.

Matt (01:40:54):

And it

Laci (01:40:55):

Says

Matt (01:40:55):

Underneath it, it says unconditional, the famous … So it’s supposed to be a fuck you to this because they called him unconditional surrender Grant.

Laci (01:41:02):

No idea.

Matt (01:41:03):

Because he so thorough kicked their asses.

Laci (01:41:05):

He had a hell of a mustache.

Matt (01:41:07):

Anyway, I just love the idea that this is what old men used to be nerds about and in a few years we’re going to see

Laci (01:41:12):

Like- Undergooning.

Matt (01:41:13):

We’re going to see 80 year olds who are fucking Star Wars nerds and stuff. And that’s

Laci (01:41:17):

What the big says was. We were wrinkly faded tattoos.

Matt (01:41:22):

She decides to go visit Jake at his sea plane, even though she’s gotten everything that she wants. We still got a movie to go. So hey, I’m inventing reasons to still need to talk to you. I just wanted to stay out. She woke up there. Sorry. No, she woke up in her house. Oh, you’re right. And he’s like, “Yeah, well, I’m not going to be at this house much longer. I’m moving away to Tuscaloosa.” And she’s like, “You can’t move.” And he’s like, “Oh yeah? Do you want to come in my plane? I can show you my world.” And she’s like, “No, I can’t.” And he’s like, “Can’t or won’t.” She’s like, “Goodbye, Jake. Goodbye forever.” So she visits the post office, talks to another black person who’s afraid of her for good reason who then tell … You’re looking for Bobby Ray. Oh, he’s over at the Carmichael Plantation, so goes to the Carmichael plantation.

Laci (01:42:12):

Oh, okay. So I was like, why does she end up here? This is all very clunky, but it’s like, okay, well she made a point to say goodbye this time. She literally ran out on all these people, including Bobby Ray, the first time. I mean, everyone seems wounded. Everyone seems scarred from it. That’s probably why the parents didn’t go visit. Well, you just fucking left, dude. But how would she … I don’t know. You’d think there’d be some planning. How’d she afford that? Did she use the wedding gifts to pay for the flight and then she just-

Matt (01:42:39):

I think we need a swing Alabama prequel

Laci (01:42:41):

Series. Slept on that gay man’s porch until he let her in and she started sewing tiny clothes, like Cinderella for mice. And he’s like, “There’s something here. You could be my protege.”

Matt (01:42:52):

See, if this were five years ago, we would’ve gotten the Disney+ series about that exact thing is the rise of Melanie Carmichael.

Laci (01:43:00):

Oh, that sounds even.

Matt (01:43:01):

Meet another black … All the black people in Alabama work in servant capacities.

Laci (01:43:05):

Yes. I was just going to say that.

Matt (01:43:06):

Including the woman who works here at the plantation home. Oh Lord. Oh, Ms. Melanie. And Melanie is named from Going with the Wind. Oh, okay. Yes. You’re looking for Bobby Lay, Bobby Ray. He’s out in the backyard playing with his Confederate grandfather. Okay.

Laci (01:43:21):

His wind up Confederate grandfather.

Matt (01:43:24):

Yeah. And she’s like, “Hey, I’m sorry that I ruined your life and revealed that you’re gay in homophobic Alabama.” And he’s like, “Yeah, no problem.” Because she says, here’s the thing, I figured if the finger was pointing at you,

Laci (01:43:37):

No one- Nobody look at it. It’s like we’re all like Melanie. Yeah.

Matt (01:43:39):

Yeah, I know.

Laci (01:43:40):

Yeah, that’s why you would do that.

Matt (01:43:42):

And then she’s leaving and a reporter shows up and it’s like, “Hi, I’m Reporter here from the news. Ms. Melanie, this is your house, the Car Michael Plantation.”

Laci (01:43:49):

I’m so glad to find you here exactly where you should be, I guess.

Matt (01:43:53):

But now we have to begin another sitcom plot of like, “Oh, this is totally my house. Yes, come in, come in, ” and gives him a fake tour of the house. And now she’s bringing people … Bobby Ray has to pretend. “Oh yeah, I’m her cousin, or whatever. She totally lives here. Okay, great. And Bobby Ray and other people in town have been following Melanie’s career in the news. Didn’t any of them say, Hey, why is she calling herself Carmichael?s

Laci (01:44:16):

The whole fucking time.

Matt (01:44:18):

Isn’t that your last name, Bobby Ray? What’s up with that?

Laci (01:44:21):

Shouldn’t that be something that you guys touch on when you see each other at first? What was your inspiration? Just something.

Matt (01:44:30):

Maybe Melanie needed to start her own fashion line because she couldn’t clear the HR process at other places because they said

Laci (01:44:36):

Know

Matt (01:44:36):

Me. She’s know me.

Laci (01:44:39):

Different places. What’s your last name? Let me get back to you on that.

Matt (01:44:45):

Goes on down by the Pigeon Crick Catfish Festival.

Laci (01:44:48):

They don’t say Crick. They say Crick.

Matt (01:44:50):

It should be illegal to not say Crick. You should always say Crick.

Laci (01:44:53):

I learned about Crick while watching a Utah documentary the other day.

Matt (01:44:57):

Utah? They say it in Utah?

Laci (01:44:59):

Colorado documentary the other day.

Matt (01:45:00):

Colorado. The South is everywhere. The South is everywhere you go.

Laci (01:45:04):

I’ve never heard anyone call it a crick.

Matt (01:45:06):

Oh, you haven’t lived. Catfish Festival she reconciles with Melanie Linsky and she’s like, “Hey, I’m sorry I said that you’re a dumb woman who has lots of babies.”She’s like, “Oh, it’s

Laci (01:45:15):

Okay.” Can I hold one of your dumb babies?

Matt (01:45:18):

Gives a little scratch. Yeah. Scratch behind the ear.

Laci (01:45:24):

Heel. I’m sorry. The baby goes

Matt (01:45:27):

… And now here, Melanie Linsky, who’s playing-

Laci (01:45:32):

You know what I like that they don’t have her hold a baby. And then Jake look at her longingly like, “Oh, that’s what it should have been like. ” Because there’s no inkling that she wants to settle down and have a kid just because now they’re back together. She wants to continue her career. She’s only fucking 25.

Matt (01:45:48):

No. In the post credits, they are showing photographs of their new life and they immediately have a kid in New York.

Laci (01:45:55):

Oh, the TV did a thing where it went on to the next thing. Yeah.

Matt (01:45:58):

TV’s like, “You are not watching these credits.

Laci (01:46:01):

No.” Yeah, you fucked up right at Chucky last week. We’re going to keep going with this.

Matt (01:46:04):

No, but Laci, you are right. It is a triumph of this movie that it does not have the exact scene you just

Laci (01:46:08):

Described of

Matt (01:46:08):

Him looking over

Laci (01:46:09):

Her

Matt (01:46:09):

Holding a

Laci (01:46:10):

Baby on

Matt (01:46:10):

Her hip.

Laci (01:46:11):

Baby on my hip. Put that baby on my hip.

Matt (01:46:14):

So Lerlyn is like, “Yeah, Jake went to go find you in New York. Hey, dad.” Yeah, but he said New York was so big. He’d never seen anything lock it.

Laci (01:46:24):

He forgot to look you up in the big book and he couldn’t find you.

Matt (01:46:27):

How big of pumpkins are these supposed to be, man?

Laci (01:46:30):

No, he found her. He just lonely looked at her.

Matt (01:46:34):

No, but New York was so big I’d never seen anything like it.

Laci (01:46:38):

That’s how I felt when I went to New York. Every time I go to New York, I’m overwhelmed with where would I even start.

Matt (01:46:43):

I know, but they’re describing it like it’s Mordor. This is not that long ago. I don’t know.

Laci (01:46:49):

I know, but I’m not that long ago. I’m right now and I feel that way about New York. If you go as one person looking for another person, get there and feel like I can’t fucking compete. If I was going to find you because I finally got a divorce and Matt, I’m ready for you, but you wouldn’t call me back and I’ll just make a big grand thing. I’ll just show up.

Matt (01:47:08):

Like the Jimmy Eat World song, yes.

Laci (01:47:10):

Right. And I find you and you’re at a restaurant laughing with someone or something and I’m outside and I’m like, “I barely found this restaurant. I’m going to go home now.” I think that makes sense.

Matt (01:47:22):

Okay. I award this movie one extra half star. So he figured he needed to conquer the world before he could win you back and Melanie’s like, “That’s why he kept sending the papers back unsigned.” Yes, of course, of course. That’s why he didn’t give you a divorce. When his fortune-

Laci (01:47:39):

Sending me little shards of glass in every single envelope.

Matt (01:47:43):

Sending me a flayed finger.

Laci (01:47:45):

No, I mean up to clues of his new business.

Matt (01:47:48):

His two businesses, one of them involves fingers. But yeah, I mean, this is just Gatsby and Daisy. I’ll make a fortune and then it’ll be convenient because we’ll still be married. We won’t have to get married

Laci (01:47:59):

Again. Okay. But I like that he really does give her space. He does not answer the phone. He knows that she’s kind of falling back into old habits and realizes she’s comfortable and misses him. And he can see she’s trying to talk herself out of marrying the other guy and he’s not convinced it’s the right thing for her.

Matt (01:48:18):

That’s

Laci (01:48:19):

All in the performance.

Matt (01:48:20):

Yeah, I know. If he acted like a human being, the movie would be a little more interesting. If he had a little bit of selfishness, but instead he’s doing the most-

Laci (01:48:28):

They both are like that though. Both guys are just like, “Melanie

Matt (01:48:31):

Just wants to- ” I know, that’s why it’s not interesting. So Jake shows up with Bobby Ray to the hoe down and he’s like, “Everybody, this is my gay friend, Bobby Ray, does anybody have a problem with him being a gay man?” And they’re all like, “No, of course not. We’re not like that in the South anymore.”

Laci (01:48:46):

And he’s like, “Good. Y’all aren’t my type anyway.”

Matt (01:48:49):

I can’t believe they don’t have a single black friend. It’s surprising to not have the one

Laci (01:48:54):

Black friend

Matt (01:48:55):

In their group.

Laci (01:48:56):

It’s just scared older black men. This is my

Matt (01:48:58):

Black friend, everybody. Do you have a problem with that?

Laci (01:49:01):

Well, because all of that generation of black young men have been told, look, that fucking Melanie Carmichael, she blew me up. She fucking put post sessions. So

Matt (01:49:10):

Normally

Laci (01:49:11):

There would be. Right, but they’ve all been steer clear of Melanie Carmichael and her gang. Or snooter.

Matt (01:49:18):

Snope, smoother.

Laci (01:49:19):

Whatever.

Matt (01:49:20):

It’s a great name, Smooth.

Laci (01:49:21):

It is horrible.

Matt (01:49:23):

I mean, it is a great scene where she talks to her dead dog at the cemetery. Oh, pet cemetery. I’ll go see that.

Laci (01:49:29):

What’s going on? It’s literally a coon cemetery. And I’m like …

Matt (01:49:33):

Oh,

Laci (01:49:34):

But I know that’s the type of dog, but ouch. There’s a cemetery.

Matt (01:49:39):

Just for hound dogs who hunt raccoons. Great. Goes in, says, “Oh, you never even knew why I left.” And then Josh Lucas overhears her and he’s like, “I told the dog. It was my fault.” And then they start having a, “Oh, you ever wonder Melanie would have been like if you’d never gotten pregnant? I used to think that baby would be an adventure, but now I realize it would have been your

Laci (01:50:04):

Only

Matt (01:50:04):

Adventure.”

Laci (01:50:05):

Not mine though. I’d been getting drunk and throwing up on the baby just like I did your dress, getting struck by lighting just for fun, not for a job or anything.

Matt (01:50:16):

Okay. No, she didn’t flee the night of her wedding because clearly there, more time passed, she then had a miscarriage. We don’t know how much longer after that she left, but this also colors the movie in a weird way. Okay, so she fled because of grief and I can’t be with Josh Lucas anymore because he reminds me too much of-

Laci (01:50:37):

No, no, no, no. She was mad with him and they both were too young to have a baby. I think they were both not totally pumped about the shotgun wedding. They’re in love. They want to be together but not like this. And so they both feel a litle trapped. He starts drinking. She’s having these wishy-washy feelings and this is not what she wants to do with her life. She’s definitely upset her mother and then she miscarries and she’s like, “Thank God I’m leaving.” So I don’t think it’s grief. I think it’s relief. She says it’s relief.

Matt (01:51:07):

She does say it’s relief. Relief first. She’s treating it … Yeah.

Laci (01:51:11):

She’s selfish. She stays selfish. She’ll always be selfish.

Matt (01:51:15):

But that’s not selfish, but the movie’s treating it like it’s selfish. But they’re crying and they kiss and they kiss each other.

Laci (01:51:22):

Dig up the dead dog. They kiss him. I’m

Matt (01:51:25):

Feeling like I was so happy in New York, but then I come here and everything feels right. All right. It’s the next morning. Melanie’s mom is lecturing her like, “You can’t be with that

Laci (01:51:33):

Dream.” Why does he dress like Steve Jobs? And on the cover of this movie, she’s dressed like Steve Jobs. Is that the New York-

Matt (01:51:39):

That’s how you do

Laci (01:51:40):

In New York.

Matt (01:51:40):

Yeah.

Laci (01:51:41):

All right.

Matt (01:51:41):

You’re talking about Andrew-

Laci (01:51:43):

McCartney. I

Matt (01:51:44):

Was just going to say

Laci (01:51:45):

McCarthy

Matt (01:51:45):

Too.

Laci (01:51:47):

McDreamy. Yeah.

Matt (01:51:48):

Patrick Dempsey. He arrives in town and arrives at the Carmichael place.

Laci (01:51:52):

Don’t do that. Why would he do … Don’t do that. That’s fucking weird. If someone you love went to go handle something, don’t come surprise them.

Matt (01:52:03):

Don’t surprise anybody

Laci (01:52:04):

Anytime. It’s her. It’s fucking weird. She said she wanted to do it by herself and what now she’s been away too long so you need to come check up on her crepe.

Matt (01:52:12):

Yeah.

Laci (01:52:13):

But she doesn’t make a big deal about that. It’s just the movie plants these little moments all along where you’re like …

Matt (01:52:19):

Because he’s on a secret mission from his mom to go get the real intel on the- There’s

Laci (01:52:23):

No way he would do that. He just wants to see for … It’s true. I don’t know him.

Matt (01:52:31):

Yeah. Her mom is like, “Melanie, I see that you were hanging out with that no good Nick Jake last night. Don’t let him get his claws into you. “

Laci (01:52:39):

Jake Perry. That Nick Jake?

Matt (01:52:42):

That no good Nick Jake.

Laci (01:52:43):

Oh, okay.

Matt (01:52:45):

With Nicholas Jake

Laci (01:52:46):

Last night. Not all Nicholas Jake.

Matt (01:52:48):

And he’ll sink his claws into you. Don’t let it happen. She’s like, “Mama, I’m going to mama, mama, and I’m going back to New York City. I just need to go find daddy and tell him goodbye.” At the Confederate battlefield. Okay. So Andrew arrives in town, runs into Jake because they’re both walking up to the Carmichael place and fucking this stupid sitcom, Farsis thing is happening. We’re like, “Oh, you think that she lives here?” Okay, well I’ll go ahead and pretend too that she lives here. Oh, Melanie, you’re looking for Melanie? Yeah, she’s at the battlefield. I’ll give you a ride.

Laci (01:53:19):

And oh no. Oh, Schmooter? Oh no, Karma go, oh, that explains it. So it’s like, well, then now I’m a weird con man too and I’m going to pretend that Smooter and Carmichael aren’t … I get it’s not his place to reveal that, but then to be like, “No, I’ll give you a ride. Let me tell you all kinds of stories about the woman you’re going to marry and you’re going to eventually in a few moments find out I’m talking about her. This won’t be weird. It’s such amazing.” Yeah, because he

Matt (01:53:43):

Tells stories about, there was this incredible girl, Melanie Smooter. She blew up the bank. Oh, he says she blew up the bank and he respond, “Oh my stars, the bank? No.” And he’s like, “Yeah, she was 10 years old. She didn’t hurt anybody except a cat. She blew up a cat. It was scheduled to die anyway.” And he says, “From dynamite?” And then I laughed really hard and I got so mad at the movie for that for she was scheduled to die anyway from dynamite, goddamn you movie.

Laci (01:54:14):

Well, dynamite always does have a clock on it. So it’s all about scheduling with dynamite.

Matt (01:54:21):

So wow, sounds like an incredible girl. Whatever happened to

Laci (01:54:24):

You. What an amazing 10-year-old. Tell me more about dick so hard.

Matt (01:54:27):

Oh, you know, got pregnant, married some loser right out of high school, gets to the battlefield and-

Laci (01:54:32):

No, she’s a piece of shit. No one talks to her anymore. Fucking boring. Don’t blow up anybody.

Matt (01:54:40):

Anyway, brings her fiance in front of her and he’s like, “You’re a lying liar, Reese Witherspoon. Now deal with all your lies.” And Andrew is like, “Is this true? Are you a liar?” And she’s like, “It’s true. I

Laci (01:54:53):

Lie.” I am a lie liar. I’m a smoter.

Matt (01:54:56):

And he storms

Laci (01:54:58):

Off. I can’t believe you’re a smooth.

Matt (01:55:00):

And he remains mad at her for about 45 seconds because then he returns to their house and he’s like, “Melanie, I just came to say, I’m sorry and I want to marry you. We’ll have a big snazzy wedding in New York City.”

Laci (01:55:14):

New York City.

Matt (01:55:16):

Then the dad, Fred Ward says, “Well, I suppose I could dig off work.”

Laci (01:55:20):

And

Matt (01:55:20):

When he said this, I heard the ghost of my dad

Laci (01:55:22):

Somewhere

Matt (01:55:22):

Laughing.

Laci (01:55:23):

Your dad is alive.

Matt (01:55:25):

When I hear a joke in the wild that my dad would like, I just hear him in my head. Do a little elbow to you, point at the screen. So yeah, this Nazi wedding in New York. No, can we get married here? Yes, we can get married in Sweet Home Alabama. This is when I texted Laci and said, “There’s 30 more minutes in this movie. How?”

Laci (01:55:48):

And I ended it for the night because I was getting swarmed by termites. You guys, that’s a very cool thing that happens in Louisiana apparently and not other places. It’s swarming season. Anyway, I was being outnumbered by a lot. So I stopped the movie right here and then when I realized there’s 30 minutes left, I’m like, “This is when Maddox claimed. How could there be 30 minutes left?” But I don’t know. I appreciate the movie takes his time and this wasn’t a rash decision. She goes back to New York. She’s thinking through stuff. It’s pretty

Matt (01:56:16):

Weird she goes back to New York because-

Laci (01:56:18):

There’s a whole wedding to plan. It takes months.

Matt (01:56:21):

Yes, I know. I’m saying she’s only in screen time back in New York for a minute or so. So it’s kind of-

Laci (01:56:27):

It wants to show you time passing because Jake is about to open his business and he goes along and does it. His plan shouldn’t get interrupted hers either. She needs to see it through. It would’ve been too split decision to not thought through if she just, “I’m never leaving here again. I’m married, y’all.” I appreciate it. It takes its time.

Matt (01:56:50):

As time is passing, she keeps calling Josh Lucas. I just wanted to apologize, but he won’t answer. In fact, he even unplugs the phone.

Laci (01:56:56):

I guess only one person calls him? Yeah,

Matt (01:56:58):

Just one person.

Laci (01:56:58):

Okay.

Matt (01:56:59):

So now the wedding is approaching. She arrives back in town at the Alabama airport with her friends with Frederic and her other friend. And sees an ad with her woman friend, yes. Her other

Laci (01:57:11):

Friend woman.

Matt (01:57:13):

And sees an advertisement for a glass blowing place and she’s like, “Oh, I’ve heard about this. “

Laci (01:57:18):

No, no. She’s like, “This is that glass of … ” because she was trying to figure it out because it had a booth at the fair and she just loved it so much. And everyone was looking at her crazy because she didn’t know what it was, but Jake didn’t want her to know that, didn’t want it to sway her. And then she’s like, “This is it. ” So she had no idea it was going to be Jake. No idea, Matt. She just wanted to get some in New York. Amazing.

Matt (01:57:40):

Hard this makes Jake’s dick that this whole movie’s been going by and she’s like, oh my God.

Laci (01:57:44):

Oh my God, I love this glass. What is it? Tanted Claire? That’s amazing.

Matt (01:57:49):

Go to this glass place and oh my God, it’s Jake’s glass blowing place. Wow. Or

Laci (01:57:54):

He supplies it or

Matt (01:57:55):

Whatever. I don’t know, but he’s-

Laci (01:57:57):

No, the whole thing is this business, but it’s got a restaurant. He’s

Matt (01:58:00):

A glass nerd. He’s just one of these glass guys you hear about. Oh, it turns out he’s not a big loser. He’s a success in small business, the most important

Laci (01:58:07):

Thing of all. Also, this whole time he’s a pilot. That’s not nothing.

Matt (01:58:11):

Right.

Laci (01:58:11):

So fuck.

Matt (01:58:12):

That’s just for practical purposes.

Laci (01:58:14):

Oh, why are you fucking around with Mo’s plane? Why do you have Mr. Moe’s plane? You smuggling drugs, Jake. You learn how to be a pilot, so you get to smuggle $20 worth of fucking cocaine.

Matt (01:58:25):

Is it possible to be a loser if you can fly a plane? Exactly.

Laci (01:58:28):

True

Matt (01:58:28):

Question for everyone out there. Can you fly a plane and be a loser?

Laci (01:58:31):

You need a certain amount of hours to even be certified illegally to go up there. That means you basically went to college.

Matt (01:58:37):

No one who went to college is a loser.

Laci (01:58:39):

Exactly.

Matt (01:58:40):

There’s this weird old guy with a bow tie who arrives and he’s like, “I’m looking for Melanie.” And they’re all like, “No, no, Melanie never was in this town, Mr., But it’s Mr. Buford. It’s her lawyer. Back at the smoother home, Mel’s mom is showing Frederick, the gay black friend, all her collections of roosters and stuff. And yeah, Fred Ward gives him a dirty look, but that’s just because he doesn’t like his wife’s taste, we decided. The mayor arrives in town and she’s doing the Hillary Clinton. I’m actually from the south too, if you think about

Laci (01:59:07):

It. Okay. But when she goes for her spin in the chair, why does it look like she’s like sprawled eagle vadge out in front of the dad? It’s so much more … It’s an assault. Her regime is unveiled. Otherwise, Melanie, why do you care if this woman’s going to get reclined in a chair? I don’t know, but I’m

Matt (01:59:27):

Laughing. I’m laughing.

Laci (01:59:29):

Legs in the air and the gay man is just like … He sees just the biggest beaver. Oh, beaver. Woman beaver. It’s

Matt (01:59:39):

Like a, oh, I hate woman beaver.

Laci (01:59:41):

My least favorite kind.

Matt (01:59:44):

It’s the wedding and Reese is getting ready for her wedding and her mom’s helping her like, “Here, I’ll zip you and stuff. This is what ladies do. “

Laci (01:59:51):

It’s hard to get in those dresses.

Matt (01:59:52):

And Reese is looking a little nervous and her mom’s like, “Don’t have second thoughts.”

Laci (01:59:58):

And it’s like by now it’s like But Reese has already made her … You don’t understand what a big deal she is and how she has a BMW. You must think this is all from the guy.Whatever dream you thought she could only do if she had the right man in her life, she’s already doing that. He could give you things you could never dream of. She’s already rich in New York.

Matt (02:00:19):

Right.

Laci (02:00:19):

What more does she need from him? Because

Matt (02:00:21):

Her mom gives her the speech about like, “Yeah, I married out of passion and look where I ended up, in the shittiest place in the world.”

Laci (02:00:28):

Madly in love still, totally turned on by my pretty foxy husband. And it’s like he wants to be the president of the United States one day.That’s a very specific thing to go along on a ride for. No fucking thank you. I want to be a fashion designer. I don’t want to do this. It’s not her fault that a handsome politician wanted to take her out one day. It just kind of goes.

Matt (02:00:51):

Yeah. Him being, one day I’ll be the president is like, this is not the safe, predictable guy

Laci (02:00:56):

Versus the kind of wild guy from

Matt (02:00:57):

Your old day.

Laci (02:00:58):

This is Charlie Kirk. Do you really want to be Erica?

Matt (02:01:02):

I mean, I think she does. I

Laci (02:01:03):

Think she

Matt (02:01:03):

Wants to command the stage and twirl the

Laci (02:01:05):

Tongue. But that’s not what Erica was allowed to do before Charlie Kirk died. She’s supposed to submit. He made her put away her whole career.

Matt (02:01:13):

Well, this can’t turn into the Charlie Kirk podcast again like it always does. Oh

Laci (02:01:17):

God.

Matt (02:01:18):

But yeah, the wedding is preceding a pace, but then the lawyer interrupts. He’s like, “I have some stuff to tell you. ” He’s

Laci (02:01:24):

A tiny old frail man and a giant person jumps on him. It’s sad. Not

Matt (02:01:29):

Okay.

Laci (02:01:29):

Not okay.

Matt (02:01:30):

He’s like, “Melanie, you never signed your divorce papers. You’re still married.” And everybody’s like, “Rabble, rabble, rabble,

Laci (02:01:36):

Ramble.” Also, the day of the wedding is not the day that the shit becomes official. Yeah, none of this matters. It’s why it’s called a ceremony. It’s ceremonial. The legal shit happened three days ago.

Matt (02:01:47):

Or it’s like, oh, we’ll fucking take care of this in six months. It doesn’t fucking matter.

Laci (02:01:52):

Right. You’re going to crash this giant debutante style FBI secured wedding. Anyway.

Matt (02:01:59):

Yeah. I think you got officially divorced three months before you and I got married. We were together a long time before then. You were a bigamist if you think about it.

Laci (02:02:07):

A polygamist.

Matt (02:02:09):

Who else?

Laci (02:02:10):

A bigamist? It doesn’t

Matt (02:02:12):

Matter. Okay. B-I-Bigamy.

Laci (02:02:16):

Who else?

Matt (02:02:17):

These days it feels like every woman you meet is bi. Sexual or gamist.

Laci (02:02:23):

Okay. Good one.

Matt (02:02:26):

So yeah, he’s like, “You just got to sign this paper.” And she’s like, “Okay, wait, I can’t.” And she turns over to Andrew. She’s like, “Hey, I can’t marry you and you shouldn’t want to marry me. You see, I gave my heart away a long time ago and I never got it back.” And he’s like, “Okay, no problem.”

Laci (02:02:42):

Well, because this mom is like, “You’re going to let that twake get away with that. Now it’s time to fucking roast her.” And he just loves how upset his mom’s getting. He’s like, “Well, the best way to make this a good day is to kep making my mom upset. Bye.”

Matt (02:02:57):

So he never actually loved her. He just wanted to piss off his mom.

Laci (02:03:00):

They leave it confusing. They do.

Matt (02:03:02):

Yeah. And Candace Bergen’s like, “I’m glad my daughter isn’t my son isn’t getting married to Ms. Heeha. She wasn’t raised right.” And Reese Mithersman’s like, “Don’t say my mama didn’t raise me right and jumps on her.” And yeah, the south

Laci (02:03:16):

Is racing again. He doesn’t jump out of punches the fuck out of her. So when the cop shows up again and he pretends he needs to rest them, I thought it was because she filed a fucking complaint for being physically assaulted. She is a mayor.

Matt (02:03:30):

No, I know. Yeah. Secret service is piling on her right now. There’s a red

Laci (02:03:33):

Dot on race for this boon. She’s tased and she’s defecating in her wedding truck. It’s happening. It’s happening.

Matt (02:03:40):

But now he’s like, “Oh, but I like it. ” Anyway, she runs to the … Josh Lucas is off in the rain because it’s raining, of course. He’s at the beach where they did the thing.

Laci (02:03:49):

He’s a storm chaser. That’s kind of cool. He has to chase it so he can put his lightning rods into the ground.

Matt (02:03:54):

Yeah. And he’s like, “Shouldn’t you be with your husband?” And she’s like, “I am. It’s you, my husband.”

Laci (02:04:01):

Also, by the time I’m in a wet wedding dress and I’ve followed you to the beach and I’m like, “Hey, can’t you just pretty much turn around and expect what I’m about to say to you? ” I know, no. Okay, bye, Jake. I just want to say … My husband’s super wet and up there and we’re about to go on her honeymoon.

Matt (02:04:20):

Let’s play this out, play for time. Yeah. So what are you doing here? What do you want to

Laci (02:04:25):

Marry him before? I can be two guesses you piece of shit.

Matt (02:04:28):

Second case you and I ever want to.

Laci (02:04:32):

I love their little party.

Matt (02:04:33):

Big old party at the Honky Tonk. Everyone’s there. Everyone’s happy. And in the credits, we see Andrew, he’s getting married to Melanie’s best friend, the woman.

Laci (02:04:41):

What?

Matt (02:04:42):

Yeah. He’s getting married to her friend. Maybe it’s not her. She’s just the only other woman in the movie. Josh Lucas, he’s a small businessman in Manhattan with glass blowing. Oh, really? Yeah. And she has a baby up there and wow, you really can have it all.

Laci (02:04:56):

Okay. But I think it is nice that they actually … I just assumed she would move her fashion company to Alabama.

Matt (02:05:02):

Nope. Nope.

Laci (02:05:03):

That’s nice. He moved up

Matt (02:05:04):

To New York with her and her parents visit her all the time.

Laci (02:05:07):

Okay. Wow. Those credits really did wrap things up, didn’t they?

Matt (02:05:10):

They really did. Yeah. And you can see photos. They go a lot into this. Remember what Roger Evert said. The movie where you actually got to confront the reality of the woman who actually gave up the big life in the big city for the small town guy. So what is that actually like? And this is what has led to my feelings of conflict about this movie about how characters will change from scene to scene. And I can’t even really track who is Melanie. What does she really want? I was feeling very conflicted. It’s very complicated. And as you know, to process these complicated feelings, I have to turn to my pen to write a song. Give it to me. I wrote a song. Now listen. Okay. We love our parody songs on this program. The movie’s called Sweet Home Alabama. Oh,

Laci (02:05:58):

Jesus Christ.

Matt (02:05:59):

It’s like, why overthink this?

Laci (02:06:01):

One of the most

Matt (02:06:01):

Celebrated songs of all time.

Laci (02:06:04):

Freebird. I’m just kidding.

Matt (02:06:06):

So this song-

Laci (02:06:08):

Dirty Diana.

Matt (02:06:09):

This is about Melanie. It’s from the perspective of Melanie trying to figure out what should she do. Song is called Sweet Home Alabama. Okay. The world’s Alabama. And I want to go. They do things different and they move more slow. And what do I do with my

Speaker 4 (02:06:39):

Conflicted thogations and the honky-tonk though my mom’s in death and my dad cooks

Speaker 3 (02:06:59):

Math?

Speaker 4 (02:07:00):

And this town is death. I confess. Despite all my Reese, I am still just a rat with some cheese. Okay. Despite all my Reese, I am still just to rat with some chays. Mary they with my mom who can never be pleased. Despite all my Reese, I am still just a rat with some

Matt (02:07:34):

Dress. Despite all my Reese, I’m still …

Laci (02:07:40):

Just a witherspoon on my knees. And you said the opening line is what tickled you and that’s why you wrote an entire song and the opening line was like three words. The

Matt (02:08:05):

World’s Alabama.

Laci (02:08:08):

I’m just picturing you peeing and that come in your mind like, yeah. It really is.

Matt (02:08:14):

All right. Final thoughts about Sweet On All Down.

Laci (02:08:18):

I guess I’d give it a three. It seems carefully calculated, but then when you start to peel it back, it seems confused too. So it’s her charm and the great supporting cast that give it what it has. It’s almost too simple of a story, but then it gets complicated for no reason. Three or 3.5.

Matt (02:08:47):

Yeah. I can’t go. Two and a half. I do not give it a recommend.

Laci (02:08:53):

Oh.

Matt (02:08:53):

I think it is a too flawed of a movie.

Laci (02:08:56):

Too flawed, too furious.

Matt (02:08:57):

The performances are really good. The cast is great, but it can’t overcome, I think, of a really, really shitty script and uninspired direction. And I mean, yeah, you know everything that is going to happen before it happens. It

Laci (02:09:16):

Does nice. It does not … What does it subvert your expectations at all? Just in little tiny ways, ways that almost make you go, “Is that an accident? Do they mean to be interesting here?” I shouldn’t be thinking that.

Matt (02:09:29):

And so if that is the case, it’s not like there’s not a billion movies that are like that, that you love, but there would be something else where it’s like, “Oh, but the craft here is exceptional. Oh, the chemistry here is exceptional.” And I just don’t see it. I think they’re good. They have good chemistry, Ruth Witherspoons of Delight. I laughed that one time. Despite all my Reese, I’m still a rat with some cheese. Two and a half stars for Sweet Home Alabama. Laci, we got to figure out what we’re doing next week, so I’m going to leave it up to you.

Laci (02:09:56):

Oh, okay. You

Matt (02:09:56):

Can choose bring it on.

Laci (02:09:58):

Wait, now I can just choose whatever the fuck I won. The

Matt (02:10:00):

Intern

Laci (02:10:01):

Or

Matt (02:10:01):

Madame Webb or something else.

Laci (02:10:03):

Bring it on. That’s an easy fucking choice.

Matt (02:10:05):

Okay. Unless there’s something not on the board. I just named these because we’re about to cover a ton of movers.

Laci (02:10:14):

Movers.

Matt (02:10:15):

And I was trying to come up with like a-

Laci (02:10:17):

Light lift.

Matt (02:10:19):

Maybe movies for the ladies.

Laci (02:10:21):

Oh, thank you.

Matt (02:10:22):

Like Madame Whip.

Laci (02:10:23):

Yeah. What the fuck? I’ll give it some thought. I don’t know if it’s that one.

Matt (02:10:30):

Well fuck. All right. Well, next week we will be-

Laci (02:10:33):

You’re like, I already bought all of these.

Matt (02:10:34):

Next week we’ll be covering. Drop dead Fred. All right. Follow Laci’s movie character Morph’s channel on YouTube.

Laci (02:10:43):

We’ll defunct at the moment again.

Matt (02:10:45):

Follow us on social media, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, BlueSky, YouTube, Letterboxd. My band is Rural Route Nine. You can hear all of our music, including the song you’re hearing right now. The

Laci (02:10:57):

World is on viral. Spotify.

Matt (02:11:00):

Et cetera. All right. Thanks everybody for coming down south with us.

Laci (02:11:04):

Okay. I love you. Goodbye.