Ready Or Not (2019)

Matt (00:00:22):

Okay, it’s 1-Shriek Rental. Listen to how good that sounds.

Laci (00:00:28):

That does not sound good. I have no octaves. Ill.

Matt (00:00:33):

My late bride. My bride. My corpse bride is what you are. Who are you?

Laci (00:00:39):

I’m Corpse Bride.

Matt (00:00:40):

Your Corpse Bride.

Laci (00:00:40):

I’m Laci Elizabeth Goth.

Matt (00:00:42):

And I’m Matt Chokes and we welcome you to the final episode of 1-Shriek Rental for October 2026. Very sad to bid. Our favorite month ado, but we got more horror stuff coming out on the Patreon. We’re going to be talking about lessons learned about horror movies of the 2010s, themes that tie together the past few episodes we’ve done on It Follows the Purge. What else did we do? Us and Ready or Not. And we’re going to be joined by Austin Proctor of Frightmares. Sign up for $2 a month to get our Patreon stuff. And this is Ready or Not. Are you ready, Laci?

Laci (00:01:16):

Not.

Matt (00:01:17):

No?

Laci (00:01:18):

I was doing the movie title.

Matt (00:01:20):

I only just saw this movie for the first time a few months ago.

Laci (00:01:24):

On my urging.

Matt (00:01:26):

Yeah, you told me. This was a Laci recommend and a Laci pick. Why do you like this movie so much?

Laci (00:01:31):

Why do you fucking like it?

Matt (00:01:32):

Because it’s good. It’s fun.

Laci (00:01:34):

So get off my back.

Matt (00:01:35):

Very violent. It goes, man. It goes.

Laci (00:01:37):

It goes there, baby.

Matt (00:01:39):

Anything else?

Laci (00:01:41):

What? You can’t just ask me questions. Okay. Why do I like it? I enjoy comedy horror. I enjoy horror that is not too scary, that is aware of itself. I don’t know that I needed to have a message, but I tend to like the ones that are given some social commentary.

Matt (00:02:03):

And do you think if you were to marry into a rich family, you would find that every single one of them is doing these sorts of… They’re all hunting each other for sport or they’re hunting new people for sport.

Laci (00:02:13):

Yes. My answer is yes. Even if they’re not literally doing it, they’re doing something like they’re bored. How can they not be bored? They have all these rooms in their homes. They need to do stuff in those rooms.

Matt (00:02:25):

Otherwise you feel stupid for having the rooms. What’s the point of having all the rooms?

Laci (00:02:28):

Hide a concubine or some sort of trafficked individual, then I don’t know why you would need all the rooms.

Matt (00:02:34):

I meant to look into conspiracy theories about this movie. Are people online being like, “What do they know? What do they know about what’s really going on?”

Laci (00:02:40):

I feel like they’re being pretty plain about it.

Matt (00:02:42):

Who is this actually supposed to be about? Because this was written well before Epstein. Well, I mean, Epstein’s always been around, but they wrote it in the early 2010s, but it’s just the trope of rich people doing –

Laci (00:02:58):

It’s succession. Doesn’t seem like it’s the Murdoch family or whoever’s in control of Fox News. At least that’s what it seems like when you watch the second one.

Matt (00:03:06):

Oh, the family from the second movie.

Laci (00:03:09):

I don’t know. I’m just saying all these families are that family. You put a family in complete control of the world and they are that family.

Matt (00:03:17):

And is it just boredom, you think?

Laci (00:03:20):

Oh, there’s a lot of boredom. I mean, once you win all this stuff, then all you’ve got is greed. I don’t think you ever get to enjoy anything.

Matt (00:03:27):

Yeah. Diminishing returns for, “Oh, my stock price increased in value. What’s that mean? It doesn’t mean shit to me. Oh, but a really sexy lady smoking a cigarette who I can kill with a bow and arrow? Now we’re talking.”

Laci (00:03:39):

Do you want me to smoke? Is that what you’re saying? I’m not sexy anymore. I have a smoker’s voice.

Matt (00:03:43):

You do have a smoker’s voice.

Laci (00:03:45):

Sorry, I just need a cigarette.

Matt (00:03:46):

I love when you smoke. We are both big fans of smoking. If you smoke, you are cool. But I don’t think anybody’s been cooler since the 1950s smoking a cigarette than Samara Weaving is in this movie.

Laci (00:03:57):

I think you need to calm down your penis over there. I can feel it wiggling.

Matt (00:04:00):

This is just appreciation. This is just objectivity. And are you going to disagree with me that she’s not just cool in this movie?

Laci (00:04:10):

She’s cool, man. So I’m not going to know. Don’t have me join you. I won’t be joining you. I’m ill.

Matt (00:04:22):

Laci’s ill. I mean, we have both had a two month illness and I’m largely over mine. Laci’s still in the shit. It’s just welcome to –

Laci (00:04:32):

I’m in the drink.

Matt (00:04:33):

Welcome to the world, people. It’s misery. I’m

Laci (00:04:36):

Not going to join you in saying how hot this amazing hot person is.

Matt (00:04:39):

I did not say she’s hot. I mean she obviously is hot.

Laci (00:04:41):

How cool this amazing hot person is.

Matt (00:04:42):

What I kept thinking is how cool she is and the camera loves her.

Laci (00:04:47):

And what was the first compliment you ever gave me?

Matt (00:04:49):

Yeah, you’re cool. It’s like I’m seeing the lacy goth in Samara Weaving.

Laci (00:04:54):

That’s all you had to say, baby. Now I get it.

Matt (00:04:58):

And until this morning when I read her Wikipedia page, not to spill all the trade secrets, I though she was Hugo Weaving’s daughter. Nope, just his niece. So still super Nepo baby, but I was like, “You know what? At least she’s not Hugo Weaving’s daughter, so I can forgive her even more than Nepo Baby connections. Andie McDowell, love seeing evil Andie McDowell. Couldn’t believe that there’s a flavor of Andie McDowell you rarely get. We need to see –

Laci (00:05:27):

I don’t know if you ever got it.

Matt (00:05:28):

Was she in? No, she wasn’t in the Beekeeper. That was Minnie Driver, but I feel like –

Laci (00:05:32):

Get her confused with Steenburgen.

Matt (00:05:35):

Mary Steinbergen.

Laci (00:05:36):

Yeah, the three of them.

Matt (00:05:37):

I feel like I’ve seen some evil Mary Steenburgen, but yeah, they are kind of a little –

Laci (00:05:42):

Sweet, salt of the earth brunette, secret sexy.

Matt (00:05:46):

Minnie Driver’s British, the other two sort of Southern belles.

Laci (00:05:49):

Oh, I don’t think of them as belles. They’re covertly sexy. They’re down to earth sexy. They’re one rung under Sandra Bullock, who is just sexy.

Matt (00:05:59):

You know, you’re right. When we watched Groundhog Day and we were surprised… And Dow’s kind of sexy in this movie. At the end of the movie when she’s being a little sexually aggressive with Bill Murray because it’s now day two and he’s finally won her over. We were like, “Oh, wow.” So 1-Shriek Rental, every shriek on the show, we do a deep dive into a different movie, tell you all about it, read interviews with the people who made it. In the case of this movie, it’s Radio Silence: The Filmmaking Collective. I finally learned what that means and who these people are.

Laci (00:06:27):

You didn’t know what a collective was?

Matt (00:06:29):

I’d heard Radio Silence for so long and though, so what are they talking about? Who are they talking about? When they say Filmmaking Collective, what does that mean? Because we know filmmaking partnerships, duos, the Cohen Brothers, the Wachowskis, et cetera, et cetera, but more than two people? How do you do that? How do you direct a movie like that?

Laci (00:06:48):

How do you know whose turn it is?

Matt (00:06:50):

Yeah.

Laci (00:06:51):

How do you decide what’s worthy and how do you not get pissed it’s not you?

Matt (00:06:55):

And in the handful of interviews I read, I was looking for those answers and they don’t answer them.

Laci (00:06:59):

Fantastic.

Matt (00:07:00):

To my frustration. But we’ll tell you all about them and then we’ll tell you about this movie or we’ll tell you all about them in our history segment. Then we’ll have a movie discussion where we go through the movie itself, tell you all about it, tell you what we think. And that’s what our show is. And if you like it, subscribe and go to Patreon and listen on the podcast and all this stuff. I like this video.

Laci (00:07:18):

Please give it a heart thumb.

Matt (00:07:20):

Yeah.

Laci (00:07:20):

A heart, an erect thumb and hype it. Give it a hype.

Matt (00:07:24):

And give it a Super Chat.

Laci (00:07:25):

No, no, no. What are you doing? On YouTube, you hype.

Matt (00:07:29):

Is that real? Is that a real thing?

Laci (00:07:30):

There’s a thing. They do something.

Matt (00:07:32):

If there’s a thing, do it.

Laci (00:07:34):

Be a menace.

Matt (00:07:35):

Leave us a comment. Tell us you like it. People have been leaving us comments saying they like the show lately. Nice, like that.

Laci (00:07:41):

Finally. We’ve gotten those all along.

Matt (00:07:43):

No, it’s always been happening, but I just – But we always appreciate it. A lot of really thoughtful comments recently. People note, oh, I’m glad you noticed that specific thing.

Laci (00:07:51):

I did do my hair.

Matt (00:07:53):

We put the work in – I parted my penis to the left. It’s nice when I part my penis to the left and somebody finally notices.

Laci (00:07:59):

Finally, he’s carrying it that away.

Matt (00:08:01):

So you ready to talk ready or not?

Laci (00:08:03):

I think I am.

Matt (00:08:28):

Ready or not. Credited to the directorial team of Matt Betanelli Olpen and Tyler Gillette or Gila, don’t know. Now they are members of Radio Silence, a filmmaking collective. In addition to this movie and its sequel, they directed Scream five, Scream six and Abigail, but their origins go way, way, way back. Go back to early days of YouTube. But these days we have YouTube filmmakers turned mainstream filmmakers like Curry Barker of Obsession and Kane Parsons of Backrooms, but these guys are from YouTube generation one. And one thing I like about these…

Laci (00:09:11):

I was going to name a YouTuber from gen one, Shane Dawson did it.

Matt (00:09:17):

No, I didn’t. The gopher that looks at you, that one.

Laci (00:09:20):

Oh no, he didn’t really become an influencer. He was just like a one-hit wonder.

Matt (00:09:23):

The gopher, yeah.

Laci (00:09:24):

It’s not a fucking gopher.

Matt (00:09:27):

Yes, it was.

Laci (00:09:27):

It’s a chipmunk.

Matt (00:09:28):

No, it was a gopher.

Laci (00:09:30):

Are we having this conversation?

Matt (00:09:31):

Who’s

Laci (00:09:32):

Older? I am your elder.

Matt (00:09:35):

What I liked about learning these guys, and yeah, I’m 39 years old. I never aspire to make movies of my own, but when I hear, oh, some whipper snapping 21-year-old made a movie that’s a big hit, I think, oh, fuck that guy, even if I end up liking his movie. These guys were doing YouTube shit in their 30s, kind of like me right now.

Laci (00:09:51):

Oh, now it’s not a fine. It’s okay.

Matt (00:09:53):

Yeah, it’s okay. It’s fine.

Laci (00:09:54):

No, it’s not fine. Okay.

Matt (00:09:55):

And then they went and had mainstream Hollywood success. Okay. Radio silence. We got Matt Betanelli open, who before his filmmaking career was a guitarist in the band Link 80, who was a prominent member of the East Bay of Northern California, punk scene the same scene that birthed Operation Ivy and most famously Green Day.

Laci (00:10:16):

Now we see why you like it so much. It’s a man with a guitar in his hand. He’s in the punk genre.

Matt (00:10:22):

When a guy’s got a guitar in his hand, I’m like,

Laci (00:10:24):

I want to

Matt (00:10:24):

Listen.

Laci (00:10:25):

Such an erection. Good for you. I’m glad you found him.

Matt (00:10:29):

Was a music video director directed Alkaline Trio’s first ever music video. I bet you didn’t know it was for the song Goodbye Forever. Did you know that?

Laci (00:10:36):

I know none of what you speak.

Matt (00:10:37):

All right. Well, he was also a music journalist. And then in 2007, he started the Filmmaking Collective.

Laci (00:10:43):

These Matt’s fucking fantasies. Jesus Christ. Could there be any more things?

Matt (00:10:48):

I do really regret. I was spending this time of my life, in these years, I was writing blogs, which was the stupidest thing. Why wasn’t I trying to make videos or podcasts? I mean, I did have a podcast in 2011 that if you pay us on Patreon, I might let you here.

Laci (00:11:06):

We both used to do the thing where we’d make fake radio stations when we were young. I think we were always going to be podcasters. I understand how want to jump in the video. Video was hard to start doing. It was hard to get used to seeing myself on camera.

Matt (00:11:19):

Yeah. So you just got to do it and do it and do it till you’re good at it.

Laci (00:11:22):

Oh, like I wasn’t working since age 15, Matt.

Matt (00:11:25):

But I was like, “Oh, people are going to love reading my blogs when I’m famous one day.” Ooh, what does he have to say about barbecue sauce? Let’s read. So they start this filmmaking collective that they call Chad, Matt, and Rob. It is the predecessor of Radio Silence. And they had a lot of early YouTube viral hits. Their first huge hit was called Alien Roommate Prank Goes Bad, AKA Chad Hates Aliens. Was the first hit video got 30 million views on YouTube. For whatever reason, you can’t watch it on YouTube now, so I had to go to the Wayback Machine and it’s a two minute video. Let’s take a look, Laci.

Laci (00:12:04):

Okay. I took a turn. I though I knew and then I did not know. Two jump scares. I got scared twice.

Matt (00:12:10):

Yeah. So they’re mixing found footage horror with comedy with pranks.

Laci (00:12:16):

With very annoying, very familiar YouTube style pranking videos. I was excited to see it take the turn.

Matt (00:12:23):

That are making fun of people who would do YouTube pranks, which is also what the obsession guys did. They also have tons of videos that are spoofing people who do pranks that are nevertheless also like, “Oh, but I get to enjoy this prank.” So that’s what eventually led to Ready or Not and those scream movies. Now, they then did a little innovation where they did choose your own adventure YouTube videos because for one thing, up until 2010, the time limit on a YouTube video was 10 minutes and they said, “Nope, we want to make longer stuff, but no one watches anything longer than two or three minutes,” which is crazy to think about now. Everyone wants the longest YouTube videos ever. But you could embed links to other videos in your YouTube video. So they’d film a narrative and then be like, “What do you want to happen next?” And they give you two choices and you can choose the video you want and have your own little adventure.

Matt (00:13:18):

Okay, so they welcome some new members into their collective. Some members leave, they rebrand as Radio Silence. At this point in the 2010s, Radio Silence is Matt Betanelli Open, Tyler Gillett, Chad Villea, and Justin Martinez. I just learned about all this stuff this week. Apologies to people who know way more about this if I get anything wrong or I’m just summing up everything. But they get to direct a segment in an anthology horror film in 2012 called VHS, which also has other successful horror guys, guys who were successful at the time, guys who would go on to be successful like Adam Wingard and Ty West, but their segment was the best received of the movie. Then in 2014, they direct their feature film debut, Devil’s Due, which was a pretty big hit. Then they direct a segment in another anthology horror film, Southbound. Then it seems like at a certain point, but then Ready or Not in 2019 was the real breakthrough mainstream hit.

Matt (00:14:17):

I don’t know how the group dynamics work because you have these two guys, Bettenelli Open and Gillett who are credited as the directors, and then they have their third guy, Chad Vallea, who’s listed as an executive producer. But in one of the interviews I read, the interviewer giving context says, “Well, it’s DGA rules that say you can’t have three directors, but I don’t know that that means was he actually a third director or…” I don’t know.

Laci (00:14:41):

Right.

Matt (00:14:42):

Because that guy eventually leaves too. Eventually that guy leaves as well. And so you just have these two guys who are credited as radio silence. But I kind of love all this because a thing I love is band member timelines and band drama, and it’s my secret hope to one day do a podcast that is just, “Hey, let’s explain the timeline of the various members of Blink 182 or whatever band it is.”

Laci (00:15:06):

Why couldn’t we just do a podcast called Band Drum? Why couldn’t we do it?

Matt (00:15:09):

You want to do it?

Laci (00:15:10):

Let’s do it.

Matt (00:15:12):

But the idea that we could do it with movie directors, I never knew we could do that. Using as my primary sources, two interviews from 2019, one from Dent of Geek, one from The Beat. And the Radio Silence guys talk about receiving the script for Ready or Not, written by a guy Busick and R. Christopher Murphy. These guys will later collaborate with them again on the Scream movies and on Abigail, but this is a project they did not originate, whereas everything they’d done up until then was very, very DIY, very, very… It all comes from us. We take care of everything, but this is just a traditional studio, buys a script, tries to sell it to a director. And in the beat, Matt Betnelli opened says, “It just felt like…” When he’s reading the script, “It just felt like we all had the same voice, the same ideas, that we wanted to make them the same movie.

Matt (00:16:04):

Oh my God, this will be amazing. They hired us and then we worked on it with Searchlight for two years in development, but Guy and Ryan wrote it and we were jealous of how great the writing was to say the least.” Tyler Gillett said to Din of Geek about the script, “When we got the script, one of the things that we were blown away by was how specific and consistent the tone was. I would say that overall, the tone of the movie didn’t really change much over the course of development. What you see on the screen now is really well represented in the earliest drafts of the script. We obviously went in, we made a bunch of tweaks and development, but thankfully the thing that we never touched and never wanted to touch,” and this is us, the producers and thankfully the studio, “was that really weird, unique tightrope that the movie walks the entire time.

Matt (00:16:44):

It’s a real feat of writing that it worked as well as it did on the page, and it was so convincing that it was something that we were all desperate to protect as we were moving the project forward.” Which is now the two times I’ve seen this and having seen the sequel, it’s like that is the thing I’m most grateful for is how willing they are to follow the logical steps of this premise to where it should be going and not holding anything back, but also embracing how absolutely absurd and ridiculous and silly all of this is.

Laci (00:17:19):

I guess, could you give me an example of a misstep that could have happened? Because you’ve recently complained about tone shifting in a movie that did not seem like it fit in… Was that in The Purge? The Purge did shift.

Matt (00:17:34):

Yeah, The Purge did feel like it wants to have really, really grounded family drama moments in a movie whose premise I think requires you to not take it that seriously. So whereas Ready or Not, you know exactly what movie you’re watching the entire time.

Laci (00:17:51):

Yeah. I mean, I totally agree. It’s just one of those things when it’s done really well, you don’t notice it. You’re not supposed to.

Matt (00:17:59):

Right. And it is kind of a hard to define thing. It is just like, do I feel like I’m always watching the same movie? Do I feel like when one scene, if a totally different set of characters is on screen at one time and a totally different set of characters is on screen at the other, I should still feel like I’m watching the same movie taking place in the same world.

Laci (00:18:16):

It’s fucking hard.

Matt (00:18:18):

Bettenelli Open on the warring tones of the movie said this to Den of Geek, “That was the sort of magic of it for us that you had this cool biting social commentary that we all love, and then you also had this incredibly fun Survive the Night thriller and it’s funny.” And we keep talking about these 2010s movies where we didn’t intend for them to all be in sort of thematically exploring American class and maybe middle class people trying to join the upper class or the classes at war with each other or the upper class destroying the world around it and consuming it like and it follows.

Laci (00:18:51):

Just how alien, whatever it is you think it is that the super rajar, you don’t know what it is because you aren’t it and you can’t know. It’s even weirder.

Matt (00:19:03):

One thing that she’s so good at in the early parts of the movie is her trying to fit in. She’s doing and saying all the right things and you’re like, “Yeah, okay. Yeah. Who wouldn’t love her?” And yet you still feel a little embarrassed for her, like this isn’t working on these people. At least that’s –

Laci (00:19:18):

Yeah, you’re folksy. You just are. You’re marked. You will always be at the disadvantage at this table, even if we think you’re cute. Oh, bless your heart like that.

Matt (00:19:31):

As far as directing as a team, how do you do that? The beat interviewer asks, and the beat interviewer says, “How did that come about that you worked like this, especially once you start getting other people’s scripts to direct?” And what Matt says is, “It all evolved from the way we just started shooting because when we started working together, it was so zero budget DIY when we were paying for everything, which was not much. We’d go buy new shirts so that we could throw blood on them. That was like our budget and we’d borrow cameras. It was also an all hands on deck process that we’ve just sort of carried with us. What’s been really great as we have evolved is that the producers, the studios that we’ve worked with have embraced that and been like, okay, we want you to do what you guys do so we’re not going to mess it up.” But what I want to know is what is it like to work on a movie set where you got two or even three directors?

Laci (00:20:18):

Yeah, but I love that. That makes so much sense. If you’re starting from a place where you’re all just really passionate, want to make this project work, whoever needs to fill in here or there, we all do all the same stuff. That doesn’t mean we don’t all have strengths, but no one’s beneath being this for right now or, “Hey, I need to fill in over here.” I just like that mentality. No one’s jealous of anyone getting to be the director for too long. It’s like, no, we just kind of jointly support each other. You’re not all your strongest every day.

Matt (00:20:48):

I guess I’ve never worked on a movie set like Laci has, but…

Laci (00:20:53):

It is showing. It’s pretty embarrassing for you.

Matt (00:20:55):

But reading director memoirs and stuff, what it seems like is my job is I make a billion decisions every day. And if there’s three people who all have to be on the same page about decisions, it seems like there might be just a lot of conferencing. How do we feel about this?

Laci (00:21:12):

I think that’s why the radio silence might switch out people all the time. It’s like we just need to all be of one mind. It’s pretty brilliant. There can only just be three of me. It’s like, what if we just made three of us? What if we just all on the same page about everything?

Matt (00:21:25):

Yeah. And at this point, it’s just two. No, when they made radio silence, there were three guys. Now in the present tense, it’s just two. But the closest thing I can say in my experience is I recorded an album and I had… We self-recorded an album in a studio paying for the time, but it was me, the other guy in my band, Wade, and our producer, and the three of us made decisions together. But it was always like, “All right, let’s talk out these things.” And so I just feel like if you have three directors, it just seems like it would take forever.

Laci (00:21:58):

You just don’t like talking.

Matt (00:22:00):

Who wants to talk?

Laci (00:22:01):

At a certain point though, you do just develop a shorthand and start to trust each other and know when the other one’s like, “You seem tired, I’m going to make this call,” or whatever. I’m just talking a lot about being tired because I’m sick maybe, but it sounds nice.

Matt (00:22:18):

Yeah. To have total trust in somebody and just be like, “I don’t care. Whatever you say is good, I’m sure.”

Laci (00:22:23):

You would just have to have complete… Yeah, you would just always be having to have each other’s backs. I don’t know.

Matt (00:22:29):

And for whatever reason, when it’s like a brother tandem or sisters like the Wachowskis, it’s like, “Brothers or sisters, they’re like a hive mind, just like me and my brother. We agree on every single thing.” For some reason, I’ve never thought about it when it’s a filmmaking team like that, but when it’s people who aren’t related, I’m like, “Wait a minute, but how does this work exactly?” On directing Andie McDowell, they said, “On her first day of shooting, we shot the fight scene with her and Samara where they basically fight to the death. It was supposed to be the second day of shooting, but we got rained out and had to do some rearranging. So day one, and we’re still a little starstruck because it’s Andie McDowell in our movie, which still feels surreal. And she’s throwing punches. She’s choking Samara, and she had a moment after the first or second take.

Matt (00:23:10):

She turned to us and says, Gaz, I’ve never thrown a punch in my laugh. Not in movies over in real life. So let’s really figure out how this is going to work. From that moment on after starting with such a wild, not really what you’re expecting from Andi McDowell kind of moment, she just embraced it wholeheartedly.” On the whole supporting cast, love, love, love Adam Brody, love Henry Zarney, just all these evil fucks.

Laci (00:23:34):

Yeah. In my head, I knew who all of them were. In my head, maybe because Ready or Not Two, there’s several people that you know who they are and they’re more famous or whatever, but that goes to show you how good the writing is, is that in my memory, I remember them all as being actors I’ve seen a million times.

Matt (00:23:56):

Which is I think a thing that… And I like Ready or Not Two, but I think it’s a step down from the first one of it’s not just one family who have this history with each other, and I just don’t care about that group of rich, evil people as much as I do in the first one. But Samara Weaving, the studio pitches Samara Weaving to the filmmakers. The studio had just made three billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri. She has a small role in that, and so they’re big. They’re like, “We want to be on the Samara Weaving train. Who is Samara Weaving? Isn’t it crazy that she’s Australian and Margot Robbie’s Australian and they look exactly alike?” And everybody points this out. Well, she’s the niece of Hugo Weaving. Again, until this morning, I though she was Hugo Weaving’s daughter, starts her career on Australian television in the 2010 in the alts, then moves into movies, star of the Netflix horror comedy, The Babysitter, directed by McGee, which is a big fan of.

Matt (00:24:47):

She’s the titular babysitter.

Laci (00:24:50):

She doesn’t… Oh, I think of that person as looking more voluptuous and older, but I really like those movies.

Matt (00:24:57):

In 2017, she’s also in the movie Mayhem, and she has the three billboards part, and the radio silence guys say that it was the three billboards performance that convinced her she was the right person for Ready or Not. The person who’s interviewing them in the beat, he says, “Oh, I don’t remember her in that movie.” And so Matt says, “She’s fantastic. She’s like a scene stealer. How is this person I’ve never really seen stealing a scene from John Hawks?” And then Tyler, his co-director says, “Oddly enough, I guess it’s also a little bit of a similar tonal pivot in her scene in three billboards. John Hawks is fighting with Francis McDormand, and it’s a borderline domestic violence moment, and she walks in to use the bathroom.” Now, I hadn’t seen that movie since it came out. I was not a big fan of that movie.

Matt (00:25:41):

I think you liked it. I did. By the way, just these names, John Hawks and Domestic Violence with Francis McDormand, you’re like, did AI write this? That’s the most… Of course, both of them are doing that in that. John Hawks is always the shitty ex-husband. So I went and found the scene. So in this scene, John Hawks is playing Frances McDormand’s ex-husband. She’s at home with her adult son having breakfast, and then John Hawks has his way too age-inappropriate girlfriend, Samara weaving in the car. He pops in, and then he gets nasty with his ex-wife, and let’s just take a look.

Matt (00:26:38):

So that got her the role in Ready or Not. Right. In the Din of Yeek interview, Matt Betnelli Open says, “When we first started the casting process, we knew we had to build the entire acting ensemble around the character of Grace because she is our point of view. We walk into the insanity of the movie with her character, so it was essential that everything be built on that foundation. When we met Sam, and of course we had known her body of work at the time and are huge fans of her ability, not only to do the horror and dramatic moments, but also to pull off the action in a way that feels extraordinarily convincing and grounded and real. We were certainly familiar and knew that she had the skillset, but I don’t think we were prepared at all for just how great she is. She over-delivered in every way for us.

Matt (00:27:17):

There’s a fearlessness and a vulnerability and a strength. There’s just something about her that is so eminently watchable that you root for her from the jump. You want her to win the second you meet her in person.

Laci (00:27:27):

Her shrill really is very special. It can just keep going, going, going, going, going. There’s just this one moment at the very end of the first movie where it’s like she doesn’t even seem to be meaning to do it anymore. She’s just that bothered by what just happened. I think either everyone just blew up or they’re about to, and she just sounds like a horse, but it’s cute.

Matt (00:27:48):

Wynn, this is something that you talk a lot about is rooting for characters, and I think that it’s a disconnect that we have because I don’t feel like I ever root for anybody in movies.

Laci (00:28:00):

Margarita Malede, thinking of that part of… That’s you, that you’re one of the fucking producers at the cabin in the woods where you’re just like, “Darn, I’m actually kind of rooting for this one. Margarita root for fucking.”

Matt (00:28:18):

What is it? It’s…

Laci (00:28:20):

Tequila.

Matt (00:28:20):

Tequila. Tequila. That’s Bradley Whitford. Yeah. That is kind of… Yeah.

Laci (00:28:26):

That’s you. You’re just like, “Wait, I have a heart this feels and tequila is my laite.” And that’s you.

Matt (00:28:31):

That is kind of me watching.

Laci (00:28:32):

Remembering you can feel, and then you’re like, fuck it.

Matt (00:28:34):

Ready or not.

Laci (00:28:35):

Yeah.

Matt (00:28:37):

And part of it, and he talked about the physical integrity she has of being the… It’s sort of like Sigourney Weaver and Alien. I just re-watched Alien and she kind of feels like that. You wouldn’t look at her and think this lady’s an action hero, but when called upon and now she has carry weapons and stuff, it fits her like a glove. But yeah, I don’t know. I want to hear from people. Do you root for people in movies? It’s never something I’m thinking about while I’ watching movies.

Laci (00:29:04):

It’s a weird sociopathic thing to say.

Matt (00:29:06):

But they’re fictional. What am I supposed to be doing? Go, go, Samara, go.

Laci (00:29:10):

Why would there be something called a final girl if you didn’t want them to get to the end?

Matt (00:29:14):

Well, it’s not like I don’t –

Laci (00:29:15):

That is so dumb.

Matt (00:29:17):

I find it compelling, but it’s not like, oh, if she died, I would just be so upset. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just –

Laci (00:29:23):

She’s just really endearing, but I guess I find that endearingness in lots of people and you find it in one, this woman right here.

Matt (00:29:30):

Look, it could be a thing where just the words are throwing me off and just when people say root, I don’t actually understand what they mean.

Laci (00:29:37):

It’s like, honey, you know how the saints, they play football and then the pelicans also do some other and you’re rooting for them.

Matt (00:29:44):

Oh, when things go bad, I’m like, “Fuck.”

Laci (00:29:46):

It’s like that. It’s like when you’re scaring everybody on Sunday.

Matt (00:29:48):

Yeah. Yeah, but I don’t feel that way when I watch movies.

Laci (00:29:52):

No one feels like… Oh, there was my whole fucking Samara season. Shit. She’s fucking her ACL. She’s going to play like shit and ready or not to.

Matt (00:30:02):

When adult people –

Laci (00:30:03):

It only has to sustain for two hours.

Matt (00:30:04):

When adult people say like, “Oh, I have a crush on Samara Weaving,” or whatever, I always think, “What are you talking about?” And I push and I ask, and it just means they think this person’s attractive. So this might be another thing where I’m just being too literal about it. I’m like a crush in fourth grade where you’re passing notes to the girl?

Laci (00:30:22):

Fucking Jesus Christ. Yeah, Matt, you might be being real literal right now.

Matt (00:30:26):

All right.

Laci (00:30:27):

Okay. We’ll talk about it later.

Matt (00:30:30):

Also, Samara Weaving has a Harry Potter tattoo on her ankle and –

Laci (00:30:34):

I’ll let it slide.

Matt (00:30:35):

She took a role in a movie with Daniel Radcliffe just so she could meet him. But then she pulled her socks up so he wouldn’t see because she was embarrassed.

Laci (00:30:42):

I don’t believe it. I think she showed him right away. I love this dress though. You’ve got Ready or Not Two opening premiere or whatever happening. And she is pregnant as all hell and is wearing a dress revealing the baby.

Matt (00:30:56):

The baby bump.

Laci (00:30:58):

Bitch, that ain’t a bump. That’s a baby about to come out.

Matt (00:31:00):

They call it a baby bump though.

Laci (00:31:01):

They won’t. When I get through with them.

Matt (00:31:04):

And Katherine Newton, her co-star in Ready or Not To was also in three billboards. How about that? It all goes back to that movie. 2019, Ready or Not makes $60 million on a $6 million budget, gets good reviews. It takes a surprisingly long time for a sequel to come around. And usually when that happens, the sequel comes out and no one sees it and they’re like, who cares? But the sequel was also successful. We got us a good little modern horror series on our hands.

Laci (00:31:30):

Oh shit, boys. Warm up the kettle.

Matt (00:31:33):

Yeah, warm up the kettle everybody.

Laci (00:31:37):

I’m sick.

Matt (00:31:38):

I’m popping some popcorn. I’m going to watch a scary movie. Ready or Not Here Ikon.

Laci (00:31:42):

I meant on the trail, like a kettle, like a tea kettle. Not like fucking kettle horn.

Matt (00:31:48):

Like Ma used to do.

Laci (00:31:48):

Yo piece of shit. Let’s pour some sugar on our popcorn. I have a crush on a girl. I don’t understand what rooting means. You made me go there. I got real mean.

Matt (00:32:01):

Do you think the popcorn that Drew Barrymore pops in Scream is good? We might have literally had this conversation on a Scream episode.

Laci (00:32:08):

Why wouldn’t it be? It’s the same.

Matt (00:32:10):

Do you think it’s better than microwave? Or is it the exact same stuff?

Laci (00:32:13):

Exact same.

Matt (00:32:14):

All right.

Laci (00:32:14):

You just got to get it to come out.

Matt (00:32:16):

All right. Well, that’s the history of Ready or Not.

Laci (00:32:18):

Oh.

Matt (00:32:19):

And now Laci’s going to go have a coughing fit. We’ll watch the movie again. We’ll talk to you in one minute, but for us it’ll be 24 hours later. Maybe her voice will sound better. We’ll see. Ready or Not, get this cold open long, long time ago. We’re panning across this family’s ornate mansion, seeing all their classic board games. We all loved playing Abracadabra as children and LaBelle’s gambit.

Laci (00:32:53):

And Tickle Satan and Don’t Wake Devil.

Matt (00:32:56):

Don’t wake Devil. These little kids are running around. We got Alex, Alex this way.

Laci (00:33:02):

I wonder if their names are going to be important. Alex, Daniel, Alex, Daniel.

Matt (00:33:08):

Daniel, you’re my brother and I’ll protect you.

Laci (00:33:10):

I’m the one that’s being protected. I’m in a cupboard. Alex, Daniel, Daniel, Alex.

Matt (00:33:15):

Daniel grows up to be Adam Brody. Alex grows up to be the actor who I don’t know who marries Samara leaving. But Daniel’s this alpha brother. My alpha brother Alex. No, my alpha brother Daniel.

Laci (00:33:29):

Daniel Tiger. That’s how you can remember.

Matt (00:33:32):

So they put Alex in a closet and Daniel’s like, “Don’t come out, Alex.” And then this man collapses near Daniel and he’s like, “Daniel, please help me, please.”

Laci (00:33:40):

Put some respect on Charles. I think that was his name.

Matt (00:33:44):

Charles Charles. Oh, it’s Charles. He’s in here, everybody. Come get out.

Laci (00:33:51):

He looks like he wants to die.

Matt (00:33:54):

These monsters in these plague masks come. Why are they not wearing the plague masks through the rest of the movie? I feel like the movie lost an opportunity there.

Laci (00:34:01):

They said. They’re like, oh, that was my dad’s thing. It was the 80s. Yeah, maybe if you’d pay attention.

Matt (00:34:08):

And so they come and they take this guy away. And then this woman says to Daniel, “I’m so proud of you.” And this is the man who will –

Laci (00:34:16):

This woman.

Matt (00:34:17):

We got this Aunt Helene who will be a very stern looking woman in the movie.

Laci (00:34:20):

Yeah. I wonder if her fucking insane haircut in the beginning is to help us figure out who she is later.

Matt (00:34:26):

Haircuts are… See, this is why we do this podcast. I learned so much from Laci. There’s things I can pay attention to, like names of characters, haircuts.

Laci (00:34:35):

You didn’t like Acey

Matt (00:34:36):

Slater.

Laci (00:34:37):

She looked like a fucking eraser. You didn’t notice.

Matt (00:34:40):

Well, I don’t know who AC Slater is. I mean, I know who he is, but it’s not like I know what he looks like.

Laci (00:34:44):

It’s a helmet of a head.

Matt (00:34:46):

We got on the back burner a Saved by the Bell podcast where Patrick and Laci will team up to make me watch Saved by the Bell and try to make me understand why it’s good. Funny. I don’t know if that’s

Laci (00:34:55):

Possible, but we’ll give it our damn shots.

Matt (00:34:59):

Because Mr. Belding just died and I said to him

Laci (00:35:01):

Because

Matt (00:35:02):

Patrick loved Mr. Belding and got to meet him in college.

Laci (00:35:04):

He loved Mr. Belding?

Matt (00:35:06):

Well, Mr. Belding, when we were at LSU, he came and spoke. I don’t know why.

Laci (00:35:10):

What’s his name?

Matt (00:35:13):

I don’t remeber the actor’s name.

Laci (00:35:14):

He just went by Mr. Belling the rest of his life. He’s smart.

Matt (00:35:17):

And Patrick went and saw him and it was the highlight of his life. We were texting. We should honor his memory somehow. Anyway.

Laci (00:35:25):

Can’t believe he’s alive.

Matt (00:35:27):

Well, he’s dead.

Laci (00:35:28):

Earlier though, when he was alive.

Matt (00:35:30):

Yeah, he had made it to his early 70s. It’s crazy.

Laci (00:35:33):

Oh. Oh, life is a flat circle.

Matt (00:35:38):

So the man they killed kill here was just married to Anne Helene. Aunt Helene then becomes the biggest zealot in the movie.

Laci (00:35:47):

And that fucking makes all the sense. Bitches, if I’m playing by this stupid game, we’re all playing by the game. I did forget the tidbit of it’s not random. Mr. LaBelle writes the game on the card. I thought it was like pick a card, any card.

Matt (00:36:03):

Yeah, me too.

Laci (00:36:04):

Then I was thinking, oh, that’s a pretty good shot. But it’s like, I don’t know. How do you pick a not special little lady? You seem empty and hollow. I’ll marry you. It’s like, no, I’ll marry the warmest, kindest, most opposite of my family person I could find. Don’t you think Mr. LaBelle’s going to want to definitely give you the hide and seek card on that girl?

Matt (00:36:28):

So you think he is selecting people who are not going to be compatible. I was going to ask, what do we think if she just got to be part of this family, would she eventually buy in and become every bit like the monster these people are?

Laci (00:36:41):

No, I think he’s flushing them out. I think he’s like, either this family needs to completely be destroyed their bloodline and we need to play the ring game or we’re going to have to kill this one, make another zealot. And the zealots seem to be the leaders of the family. In fact, it’s a little bit odd that it’s the dad that rules the family because he’s got his mate. You would think it’d be a widower, widowie that would be the patriarch matriarch because they’re the true believers.

Matt (00:37:09):

She’s the one who keeps saying it’s time for Alex to take his turn to lead this family.

Laci (00:37:13):

Right, but I’m still still

Matt (00:37:15):

Here.

Laci (00:37:16):

Papa

Matt (00:37:16):

Still here.

Laci (00:37:17):

I still got my good golfing days.

Matt (00:37:18):

He likes to give his speeches and stuff, but you get the sense that his wife is really, she’s really the one cracking the whip with everything.

Laci (00:37:25):

I mean, she does seem to have more balls and more influence and more all the things, but for Anne Helene who seems to be the most into this shit, it’s perfect to call her a zealot because she doesn’t treated with more seniority or more reverence. It’s like, I’m making cuckoo face over here. That’s Anne Helene for you.

Matt (00:37:50):

I think one of the most interesting things about the movie is the idea of… So this movie’s really about family. Let me be really deep here and examine it. It’s about family, but the idea that your family bonds ultimately are going to determine… There are very few people who are going to betray their class and betray their family even –

Laci (00:38:09):

Well, and how into it you are or how flippant you are just depends on the last time you experienced… How much distance does your family have between the last time they had to kill a person? But it seems like they’re sacrificing goats all the time. So it’s like the generation that all… But they are the generation. Alex and Daniel are running down the hall. They literally did live through that, but it seems like the people who married in are still kind of like… But I guess… I’m sorry. That’s the point. They killed Charles. They didn’t have to find out. They didn’t have to fuck around and find out. It’s like nothing really puts it to the test until you don’t kill the bride or groom.

Matt (00:38:58):

But the thing you could do is just not marry. Marry. Not get married. And this Alex guy is a good example of he is just as evil as his family. He just presents himself differently because he says, “I had to propose to you grace or you would have left me.”

Laci (00:39:18):

Selfish fuck. Right.

Matt (00:39:19):

And you can tie it back to it follows where if you’ve got the it follows curse on you, the most moral thing to do is just keep it.

Laci (00:39:26):

Just keep running force gumpit.

Matt (00:39:29):

And it’s kind of the same thing here. It’s like, “Well, I guess I’m going to have to live without romantic love because living with romantic love means either I have to marry someone who’s going to get killed or I’m going to have to bring them in to this circle of evil and they’re going to have to do –

Laci (00:39:42):

Not just that. I have to pick someone that’s going to be chill with it. And I think that the other siblings, without doing it, basically they’re picking, I’m going to fall in love with a good person or I’m going to marry a person because neither of the married ones seem happy in their marriages. And that’s because they ended up picking someone they subconsciously knew would like… They’d be down where if you really married someone that you really were passionate about, maybe that would have to be a really good person who would not want you to continue being a devil, worshiping, sacrificing.

Matt (00:40:17):

I assume people –

Laci (00:40:18):

They could find love in the faith.

Matt (00:40:20):

Even if you take away the Satan.

Laci (00:40:21):

What? They need christianfarmers.com. Christianfarmers.com. Christian mingle. They need a Satan-

Matt (00:40:32):

Satan mingle.

Laci (00:40:33):

Satan Sally.

Matt (00:40:34):

Satan tingle. Adam Brody’s wife is…

Laci (00:40:37):

Dating on red.

Matt (00:40:38):

One of the most hardcore of believers. Some like in hots. “You know where I came from before this. There’s no way I’m ever going back.” And so she is as devoted as you can possibly be.

Laci (00:40:52):

Right. But then you could take Grace, she’s got the same story. She could say the same utterance and it still produces two different people. You get the sense that his wife, what is her name? The short hair wife.

Matt (00:41:06):

I forgot his wife’s name.

Laci (00:41:08):

More like saw what power looked like, knew they didn’t have any, and that’s where she came from. In a place where she was powerless, but in a place where she realized what it could do. She almost seems like a duchess rather than someone who actually got up to that real steat in the royal family. It’s like, “Oh, I’m a lady.”

Matt (00:41:35):

Well, but you got to live the life of material comfort, like in the Purge. We could barely make rent. Now we’re going to buy a yacht. The people who are most likely to support fascism are the people who are… This

Laci (00:41:48):

Close.

Matt (00:41:48):

They reached a level of comfort and they’re like, “I’ll be goddamned if I give it up. It terrifies me that I may not have to be able to fly a charter jet out of Dugal Airport at any moment.”

Laci (00:41:58):

That is what I’m saying. That woman clearly had proximity to power or maybe was just had a widowed mom or something. It was like the disadvantaged black sheep where she did not have what her cousins had, but then she married into these guys and it’s like, “Fuck you. Fuck you, cousins.”

Matt (00:42:15):

Yeah. And she also seems like she’s more of a capable fighter. Not that we get that much evidence of it, but all these fucking failed children are so incompetent and can’t do anything.

Laci (00:42:26):

I do love how the mom and dad handle them though. They’re nice.

Matt (00:42:30):

Well, yeah, but –

Laci (00:42:32):

Why does this always happen to me?

Matt (00:42:34):

Oh, pumpkin. Try not to kill anyone.

Laci (00:42:37):

Right.

Matt (00:42:37):

But that’s just it. You cannot raise capable people in this environment giving them every single advantage you possibly could.

Laci (00:42:44):

Because it’s your choice what to not give, right? When rich people try to make scrappy children, well then you’re just selecting what to withhold. It’s probably your time and love. You’re making a different kind of psychopath.

Matt (00:42:59):

No, exactly. Yes. You’re just training them to be an even more evil and ruthless tyrant.

Laci (00:43:05):

You’re a dog owner holding a treat. That dog knows you own treats. You’re just withholding. That is different from none of us are getting treats tonight. That is different. Let’s all work together to get treats. That’s not the same thing.

Matt (00:43:19):

So it’s 30 years later. We’re looking at Samara weaving, rehearsing for richer or poorer in sickness and health till death thou last part. And you know what? These things actually happen over the course of the movie, if you think about it.

Laci (00:43:32):

She gets richer and poorer?

Matt (00:43:33):

You’re going to get married and that means you’re going to have to deal with a lot. For richer in sickness and health. Maybe you’ll get stabbed in the shoulder. Maybe there’ll be a big hole through your hand and it’s just all part of marriage. Even though your family is richer than God, I can’t wait to be part of your moderately fucked up family. Then her fiance comes in and they smoke and smooch. But still, things are not easy because Alex, he’s like, “I tried to distance myself from my family.”

Laci (00:44:01):

But why? You think during your 18 month bone fest, you guys might have spoken about this. Why the distance, Alex? Why letting me bring you back in?

Matt (00:44:10):

He says later that you have to have a wedding ceremony, that you can’t elope, according to the rules of Balal or whatever.

Laci (00:44:18):

I know that. I know, but from a staunch person who was detached from his family, entire family, although she seems to know his brother, just not the parent.

Matt (00:44:29):

So it seems like what they’re doing here is it’s her. She’s the one who led him to reconcile with his family because she’s just like, “Well, I just always wanted a big supportive family.” And whether that’s true or not, or it’s him just sort of manipulating facts to be like, “I did it for her. She wanted to be part of my family.”

Laci (00:44:49):

Yeah. I’m still trying to track his motives. Did he want a loser? Did he want an excuse to become that zealot? Does he also… I mean, they hint multiple times in the movie that he’s got this dark heart, the head for being the head of something like this, and he should take his rifle. But the only reason he ran away is because he knows it’s true. So it’s like, “Let me bring the best girl here, the most kind girl, and then I’m going to watch her die and that’s going to kick me into… I’m going to get in that grind set.”

Matt (00:45:20):

That is what he wanted ultimately, but also, he’s just the kind of person we see all the time who does a lot of bad things, is a part of a lot of bad things, and then is like, “I feel really bad about it.” And his brother is too. We deserve to die. Oh, so weepy and mopey about it. Anyway, family’s used to a three-year courtship. They had an 18-month bionathon.

Laci (00:45:42):

That is a detail I didn’t think about much. It’s interesting. There’s an amount of time.

Matt (00:45:49):

We want three years and you did it in half.

Laci (00:45:51):

I wonder if Charles also did a quick… And it’s like if you skip the three years, you automatically get the ready or not chart.

Matt (00:45:57):

Oh, fuck.

Laci (00:45:59):

Guys, they should read the rule book.

Matt (00:46:03):

Which you would think they’d have any family would have the rules. It’d be this family.

Laci (00:46:09):

And it’s a giant piece of paper you have to unfold five times, but it’s really big and it’s tiny print.

Matt (00:46:15):

I love the end of this movie, but the first time I saw the movie, I did think it was going to end with nobody, nothing bad. Oh shit, there is no curse. Ooh, sorry about all that. Yeah, no curse actually turns out.

Laci (00:46:28):

Yeah. I thought that’d be the bigger fuck you, is that… I don’t know. It’s one of those movies where I was like, “I don’t know what I want. Just do something.”

Matt (00:46:35):

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The movie knows better than me, and I love that everybody just explodes.

Laci (00:46:39):

Well, because then we get to deal in next movie in an actual world where we can all be witches. We’re like, “Okay, we’re all buying in because now we know it’s real. Now let’s actually play in this little sandbox a little more.”

Matt (00:46:51):

Yeah, but I think one thing that’s good about her, both the way weaving plays it in the character is written is like, “Oh, fucking Satan’s real and everything. Ugh.” What else? I’m not going to think about all that. And how could you? You just got to live your life, man.

Laci (00:47:07):

All I have to do is remember that we kind of found out about aliens a couple years ago and we’ve moved the fuck on.

Matt (00:47:12):

No, we didn’t. We didn’t find out shit.

Laci (00:47:14):

Though we found out about aliens?

Matt (00:47:15):

No. See, they did exactly what they wanted to happen. It’s for everyone to be like, “I think we learned about aliens or maybe not. I don’t know. Who knows?”

Laci (00:47:23):

Underwater. Maybe we learned about water.

Matt (00:47:26):

So time to join the De La Domas Gaming Empire, but he gives her one final chance. You can back away right now.

Laci (00:47:34):

What a saint.

Matt (00:47:34):

Yeah, because he’s a nice guy.

Laci (00:47:36):

It’s all about these little gestures, these little loopholes. I told you.

Matt (00:47:41):

We got the wedding photos. They’re taking wedding photos. We meet the family.

Laci (00:47:45):

I just love the cutaway to aunt…

Matt (00:47:48):

Helene.

Laci (00:47:49):

Look at her. Living it up.

Matt (00:47:51):

Sternest face you could have.

Laci (00:47:53):

She looks like Hades from fucking the Hercules movie.

Matt (00:47:56):

Yeah, played by James Woods. Yeah. She does. Oh, good call. Yeah. The dad is Harry Serney. Love this guy from the Mission Impossible movies, and he’s complaining to Adam Brody. Samera weaving, he could have done better than this.

Laci (00:48:11):

He’s perfectly just doughy enough. There’s a hardness to him when he wants it, but it’s cartoonish because I don’t know, he’s kind of soft like the man that the daughter ends up marrying. They’re more similar than him and his sons.

Matt (00:48:26):

It’s true. Yeah, because he says, “Under my guidance, the family’s… Dominion has extennized. We own four professional sports teams.” But it’s like, yeah, because you made a deal with the… You didn’t do anything. You didn’t have to be Brian Cox from Succession.

Laci (00:48:41):

You guys keep doing the goat thing, that whole goat pit, and then a pit for the goats.

Matt (00:48:46):

Right. And I love the way that they always play it where it’s not like they’re horrified morally by what they’re doing. They’re just like, “Ew.” It’s a bother. In an ideal world, I wouldn’t have to do any of this shit, but we have to do it. So hail Satan, hail Satan. Yes. Drink the blood.

Laci (00:49:01):

When they’re doing the

Matt (00:49:01):

Rituals,

Laci (00:49:02):

You mean?

Matt (00:49:02):

Yes.

Laci (00:49:03):

Oh, this is so unbecoming.

Matt (00:49:05):

Yeah. And any death at all, any murders, again, it’s not like we want to murder, but we got to.

Laci (00:49:09):

Do you think the assumption is that anyone that’s risen to their level is also doing devil stuff? Or do you think that they feel a little petty towards rich people who didn’t have to do the devil stuff?

Matt (00:49:19):

Good question. Good question.

Laci (00:49:21):

They’re the rich nouveau, but with Satan.

Matt (00:49:28):

They’re like, “If you only knew what was going on with the Koch family and with whoever, name another rich family. I’m struggling.”

Laci (00:49:36):

The Rupert Murdochs.

Matt (00:49:37):

We already named Murdochs. The two rich families. The train. The train.

Laci (00:49:43):

The guy that owns the railroad.

Matt (00:49:45):

Yeah, the robber barren train owners. And the thing is, yeah, it’s all true. It’s not literally worshiping Satan.

Laci (00:49:54):

Right. Yeah, but there are meetings and there are brotherhoods and there are networks of people helping people and people covering up for other people. It is all still bad.

Matt (00:50:04):

The Skull and Bone Society at Yale, which produced the billion presidents and just the most evil people who ever lived, they do go and jack off into Geronimo’s skull. That’s a real thing they do. Is it because they’re horny for Geronimo’s skull? It’s actually more like, “Hey, prove you’re one of us. I saw you jack off into Geronimo skull. Can we keep a secret? Can we have this sort of telepathy where we know I know that you know that I know that you know, but we’ll always have each other’s backs? Same reason David Cameron fucked that pig at British Boarding School. That’s what they have to do. Bohemian Grove, setting owls on fire and stuff. You can look at it –

Laci (00:50:37):

That’s why they’re fucking endangered, all those skull and bones guys with the owls.

Matt (00:50:44):

That’s Bohemian Grove, not skull and bones. But you can look at it and say they literally worship the devil. No, they don’t worship the devil.

Laci (00:50:51):

They worship money and money is the devil.

Matt (00:50:53):

Yeah. And we do our weird stupid rituals to prove that we’re all in it together.

Laci (00:50:57):

Keep wearing the same socks. Don’t ever change your socks. That’s how you keep that money.

Matt (00:51:03):

So, yes.

Laci (00:51:04):

That’s what I’ve been doing.

Matt (00:51:06):

She’s pretty. She’s pretty enough, but is she one of us? And they mentioned the doughy brother-in-law Fitch, and the dad’s like, “Fitch is one of us.” So there’s this…

Laci (00:51:16):

If he could be.

Matt (00:51:17):

There’s this thing, which I guess it does come down to the Mr. LaBeo deemed that he was one of us because he didn’t spit out of a hide and seek sticker.

Laci (00:51:29):

Right.

Matt (00:51:31):

Question about the hide and seek though.

Laci (00:51:33):

Wait till we get to it, Matt. All right.

Matt (00:51:36):

No, you’re right. You’re right. That’s why she’s pro.

Laci (00:51:39):

I’ve never seen wedding pictures taken before the ceremony before.

Matt (00:51:44):

Yeah, me neither. It’s weird.

Laci (00:51:46):

I think it’s supposed to be some shit where we’re supposed to think… Is this a rich people thing? We’re supposed to feel a little unsettled like, oh, this is odd.

Matt (00:51:57):

Get all that shit out of the way.

Laci (00:51:58):

I like it.

Matt (00:51:59):

Yeah. Amy McDowell, as the matriarch of this family, comes over to Samara weaving. She’s like, “They said my blood wasn’t blue enough either. And I say, fuck them. The only thing that matters is what my son thinks of you and he thinks you’re peachy keen.” She’s like, “Oh, thanks so much, mom.” So they get married, they go up to their bedroom, and she’s ready to jump his damn bones. And he’s like, “Honey, before you take out my dick, I have to tell you something.” She’s like, “Shut up and take out your dick.” And then, oh God, it’s Aunt Helene in the room.

Laci (00:52:31):

Doesn’t it seem like they’ve been drinking though too? They had a whole after part. The whole thing happened.

Matt (00:52:36):

Yeah, because –

Laci (00:52:36):

And they’re just kind of like, time for a honeymoon night. It’s like, “Wasn’t there another moment?

Matt (00:52:41):

Because this guy sucks. This guy fucking sucks. He’s the worst.

Laci (00:52:44):

Or don’t let her get drunk. She’s got to fucking run for her life. She’s going to have to pee the whole time.” Also, they cheat. They cheat in both movies. They just say, “We’re going to play hide and seek, set her free without explaining we’re trying to kill you,” in the first one. And the second one, they’ve just put them in the middle of the fucking ninth hole or whatever.

Matt (00:53:05):

Right. And they’re like, “And the rules are very strict. You can only play it the way it was played in the 1840s.” I don’t think they’d mind if we cheated, if we used cameras and stuff. Yeah, the rules exist until we decide they don’t exist. “Got to tell you something, honey. We have to go do the stupid ritual downstairs. “And she’s like,” Really? “He’s like,” Yeah, you know how we’re like a board game family. We’re like the Milton Bradleys. Well, we got to go play a board game. That’s how we initiate a new member into the family. “She’s like,” Well, do I have to win? “And he says,” No, no, no. You just have to play. And then afterward, you’re part of the family, and we only have to do this once and then it’s over. “And she’s like,” You know what? Okay. If it makes your family accept me, I will play the shit out of chickers.

Matt (00:53:45):

“He’s like,” Meet me in the music room in 10 minutes. “It’s basically the clue house. We got servants corridors. We got a music room. We got a billiards room. We got a study.

Laci (00:53:54):

We got maids. We got to cook. No, we’ve got the oddest butler. He is odd.

Matt (00:54:00):

And I know from clue that what a butler does is in charge of the kitchen.

Laci (00:54:03):

He buttles.

Matt (00:54:05):

Well, yes, he buttles, but he’s also in charge of the kitchen.

Laci (00:54:07):

Indeed. A kitchen that’s never what you think. That’s the thing with these old houses. The kitchens are not for the people that live there. They’re always the shittiest part of the house because the kitchen’s for the help. That’s why you go to the kitchen, it’s like, did someone forget to fucking tell this kitchen we’re rich? What is this old ass refrigerator?

Matt (00:54:27):

I long to. I like the house we’re in now. If I can make one change. I just want to live in a house where the kitchen’s small and out of the way. I hate being in the kitchen and doing stuff and everybody else having access to it. Stay away. I want it to be somewhere secluded where I can be by myself.

Laci (00:54:41):

And I like to cook and I don’t want to be secluded, so quit being selfish.

Matt (00:54:44):

Will we ever get along? Will we ever make it work? All right. Stay tuned. So yeah, the dad says to his son, son, if she pulls that card, were you willing to do what’s necessary? Oh God, what does that mean?

Laci (00:54:58):

Well, and also what kind of question is that? I have to. The very fact that I brought a bride here today and we’ve married now, isn’t the answer yes? Why would I have done all this?

Matt (00:55:09):

I guess he thinks maybe he’ll do exactly what he does, which is just like, “I’m not going to help him. I’m going to try and help her escape.”

Laci (00:55:15):

But the question is still, “Are you going to kill us all? Are you going to let her live free?” It’s still the question. All of us are her. That’s what it’s been the whole time. There’s no other outcome.

Matt (00:55:28):

We got Andie McDowell giving some exposition about how Alex has been estranged from this family for a while, and Grace, please try to make him bring him back into the fold. You brought him back to us for this wedding, but we won’t way more ham. And Grace is like, “Well, I grew up in foster homes, so I always wanted a big loving family like this.” And like, “Oh, well, that’s just great. Just great.” And as they’re talking, Alex then comes up and he’s like, “Let me borrow my bride for a minute. What the fuck did my mom tell you? Holy shit, what did she tell you?”

Laci (00:55:55):

You’re being so normal right now, Alex.

Matt (00:55:58):

I mean, this is kind of what I was like with Laci when she talked to my mom in the early days of her relationship.

Laci (00:56:02):

She told me you have a thing about your nipples. That’s what she told me.

Matt (00:56:08):

I did?

Laci (00:56:09):

No. No, you’re not your mom.

Matt (00:56:11):

Oh, my mom said that.

Laci (00:56:12):

Between me and your mom, our very first conversation about your nipples.

Matt (00:56:16):

What did she say?

Laci (00:56:17):

It’s between me and your mom.

Matt (00:56:19):

And the listeners. Go ahead.

Laci (00:56:21):

This is a made up thing I’m talking about.

Matt (00:56:23):

Oh, it sounded real.

Laci (00:56:24):

Fuck, you better tell me about your goddamn nipples now.

Matt (00:56:27):

It sounded like a thing that my mom might actually say. His man titties are big, aren’t they?

Laci (00:56:33):

That’s not a nipple. You are so confused about what nipples are.

Matt (00:56:37):

I guess so.

Laci (00:56:38):

Apparently.

Matt (00:56:39):

I guess so.

Laci (00:56:39):

Continue.

Matt (00:56:40):

No, I have had, since I was a kid, I don’t want my nipples to show through my shirt. Maybe it was that. His nipples show through his chart.

Laci (00:56:47):

Okay.

Matt (00:56:48):

Anyway. We got Alex’s sister arrives, Emily, from Paris, and her husband fitched, and he explains, “Oh, they couldn’t get their normal charter out of DeGaulle and I just will not fly commercial. I just will not.” Then they’re all summoned to the hunting room.

Laci (00:57:02):

Gaming room.

Matt (00:57:04):

The gaming room covered in hunting trophies.

Laci (00:57:06):

Which is game.

Matt (00:57:07):

Reserved for… Oh, you’re right. Yes. It’s a double meaning.

Laci (00:57:11):

I know you weren’t ready for that.

Matt (00:57:13):

This room is for members of the family only. Great-grandfather enjoyed his games. We see a painting on the wall of this great man hunting a tiger, a dead tiger in front of him.

Laci (00:57:23):

A guy behind him that actually caught him.

Matt (00:57:27):

No, right. That is this whole family. It’s like, “Oh, the great deeds we’ve accomplished. Wow.” And again, all because I pulled a thorn out of a devil’s finger or something on a boat.

Laci (00:57:36):

I was on a boat with a guy one time.

Matt (00:57:39):

Gives a big speech about the guy who pulled the thorn out of the lion’s tiger, Paw, Satan Paw on a boat, a merchant vessel in the 1850s or whatever. And the guy, Mr. LaBelle was the guy, and he gave great-grandfather this box.

Laci (00:57:55):

And it was a game. And it was, “If you play the game right, will you get to do games for the rest of your life, son? Buckle up.”

Matt (00:58:04):

It’s basically Hellraiser. And what I like is –

Laci (00:58:06):

No, it’s not.

Matt (00:58:07):

Well, it’s-

Laci (00:58:08):

It’s just a puzzle box. Puzzle boxes are in a ton of movie and they’re not Hellraiser.

Matt (00:58:12):

Say Puzzle Box. What are people going to say?

Laci (00:58:15):

Fucking…

Matt (00:58:16):

Hellraiser. That’s what they’re going to say.

Laci (00:58:18):

The game. I would say The Game. I’d be talking about fucking Sheen, Charlie Sheen, chopped his dad, Martin Sheen in the game.

Matt (00:58:26):

Michael Douglas.

Laci (00:58:27):

That’s who I said. Those are the same person.

Matt (00:58:30):

Because Michael Douglas has a dad, Kirk Douglas, so I get it. Yes, father and son.

Laci (00:58:34):

No, they are identical. They are the same person.

Matt (00:58:36):

No, they’re not.

Laci (00:58:36):

You take one out and you put the other one in. Identical.

Matt (00:58:41):

What I like is he passes this box around for everybody to take a look, and she has to play it like, “How long do I have to look at this to be polite while also listening to his stupid speech?” And so they pass it around the box. Whenever someone joins the family, they put in a blank playing card and then wind up some shit and then pull the card out and it has an imprint on it that says what game they’re going to play. And the game is hide and seek and everybody’s like, “Oh, fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck.” She’s like, “Why are you all saying oh fuck?”

Laci (00:59:07):

That bad.

Matt (00:59:08):

They’re like, “Nothing dear. It’s just, yeah. Okay. It’s your initiation, so you go be the one to hide.” And she’s like, “Okay, great. To Mr. LaBelle,” and tries to do a toast and they’re like…

Laci (00:59:19):

And then on the second watch, I was like, “Is that why she won?” She knew. She knew because the last thing she sees is him nodding at her to you too. Him and you see through at the end, gives her the nod. It’s like, “You know what? You showed respect, sister. You’re going to survive this shit.”

Matt (00:59:38):

And she’s got a quality, but he knew it from the very beginning because what you said –

Laci (00:59:42):

He doesn’t care that she smokes, Matt. I think it’s that she knew to say to the LaBelle.

Matt (00:59:50):

No, maybe you’re right. It’s all because she gave a toast. So they’re like, “All right, listen, we’re going to-“

Laci (00:59:54):

He’s from the 1850s. This man’s got old sentiments.

Matt (00:59:57):

Well, and he saw somebody smoke. He’s like, “I recognize Finally, everyone else is on their phone.

Laci (01:00:06):

Smoking app.

Matt (01:00:07):

I think the smoking is a class signifier because you’re a dirty working class poor if you smoke.

Laci (01:00:13):

And the mom is the other one that smokes, right?

Matt (01:00:15):

Yeah.

Laci (01:00:15):

Which would make sense.

Matt (01:00:16):

And she came from a not blue blood family. That’s not exactly what you just said. All right, we’re going to count to a hundred. We’re going to turn off all the security cameras and go hide.

Laci (01:00:28):

And we’re going to be little fucking cheating sacks of shit. I don’t know what it would look like if you told her the truth and then she ran away. It’s just supposed to be fish in a barrel. I don’t even think they’re all supposed to have weapons. I mean, truly, if it went the way they thought, it would be one person shoots someone after 15 minutes and then we’re all going to bed. It seems like a minor inconvenience. Are we really all getting passed for this?

Matt (01:00:54):

This was my question. Do she even actually have to hide or is it just we just have to put her on the Satan table and knife her? Is hide and seek a necessary component of that? She has to go hide and you have to find her.

Laci (01:01:06):

That must be a necessary component because they don’t tell her so that she will go hide, I guess. Otherwise she just runs and it’s not run and seek.

Matt (01:01:15):

And as she hides, they put on this grandmophone playing the time for hide and

Laci (01:01:21):

Seek.

Matt (01:01:21):

Run, run,

Laci (01:01:22):

Run. It’s so ruel. You have to have the weird old song.

Matt (01:01:26):

And as she goes and hides she’s like, oh, I’m so good at hide and seek. I’m going to go be the best hider of all time in this dumbwaiter.

Laci (01:01:32):

Honestly, she finds the dumbwaiter. I’m like, all right, she’s fine. This is great. The rest of the movie is this. It’s panic room. She’s just in this room.

Matt (01:01:39):

Were you a hide and seek kid?

Laci (01:01:41):

Yeah.

Matt (01:01:42):

We were big in a hide and seek.

Laci (01:01:44):

I mean, because I thought I knew how to fucking hide. I was pretty good. I was not as good as our kid is, but I was up there and it’s cheating. I was small.

Matt (01:01:56):

It’s still any game, I basically think all games are boring, but yeah, if I had to play hide and seek, I’d be like, kind of fun, maybe. Play hide and seek in the dark, play hide and seek outside at night, use the whole street.

Laci (01:02:11):

It creates a feeling for the person finding and seeking that what other game does that? All right. Well, so they think that the husband is going to have a hard time with this, but they need to keep an eye on him. So they simply just leave him. They don’t tie him up or anything. They just leave him. They think he’s just going to cry in here and the sister-in-law’s got to watch him. Then she gets bored in the dumbwaiter,

Matt (01:02:36):

Right? Yeah, which is a thing that would happen. How long do I have to fucking do this? All right, enough of this. I’m out of here.

Laci (01:02:43):

You got me.

Matt (01:02:44):

Gets out of the dumbwaiter.

Laci (01:02:46):

But who finds a kid? No.

Matt (01:02:48):

No. So one of the –

Laci (01:02:49):

Oh, a maid?

Matt (01:02:52):

Well, yeah. We have an au pair or something who’s putting two of these kids to bed and she falls asleep in her rocking chair and then wakes up and it’s like, George, he’s gone. Little George, he’s little inquisitive, wants to play hide and seek, wants to shoot some working class people too. So she goes off to find little Georgie and –

Laci (01:03:09):

Oh, right. And someone shoots her instead.

Matt (01:03:11):

Yes. Because then Alex escapes through the servant’s corridor. He’s going to go help his beautiful bride, pulls her into a room and he’s like, hide, quit behind this bed. And they get behind the bed and then the maid, the au pair lady gets shot.

Laci (01:03:25):

That’s when Grace figures out this is different from how I used to play in the orphanage.

Matt (01:03:33):

Then the rest of the family comes in like, oh, why’d you shoot her in the face, sweetheart? You’re supposed to maim her and leave her alive for the ritual. God damn it. So again, they’re treating this as a massive inconvenience. It’s something you have to do. It’s not like we’re taking a lot of joy and hunting these people, but also this sucks. We killed our best au pair.

Laci (01:03:53):

Yeah. The only thing they think of is what it means for them. She’s my favorite. But clearly accidentally killing people happens often in this family because they have a system where they immediately cull heads or tails to figure out who’s going to pick up the heavy half of the body.

Matt (01:04:09):

And Grace is dissociating and Alex has to explain it to her. Okay, listen, you pulled the bad card and they think they have to kill you before sunrise. They think there’s a curse. And if they don’t kill you, something really, really bad will happen to them. And she’s like, you knew that this would happen? He’s like, I didn’t think you’d pull the bad card, babe. I promise. She’s like, but you knew there was a chance. And he’s like, when you marry into this family, you either have to play the game or you die. You can’t elope or whatever. It’s a curse, okay? And I believe in the curse. And she’s like, you brought me here and didn’t warn me. And he’s like, but you wanted to get married and if I didn’t propose to you, you would’ve left me.

Laci (01:04:44):

It’s true. What my hero. This is why all the toxic shit we were taught when we were younger is bad. That’s not love. That’s still selfish. He should have never been on the market.

Matt (01:04:54):

Right.

Laci (01:04:55):

Get yourself off the apps, my guy.

Matt (01:04:57):

Choose a life of celibacy. Go to the mountains.

Laci (01:05:02):

Or just fuck people.

Matt (01:05:03):

Right. Do a bonathon. You were doing it. It was great.

Laci (01:05:06):

You done and fell in love with your bone member.

Matt (01:05:09):

Oh, what if he did a civil ceremony? What counts as a wedding? What counts as a marriage?

Laci (01:05:14):

What for common law?

Matt (01:05:15):

Exactly. And he’s like, “Babe, I’m going to help you make it out of this. I promise. I love you.” And she’s like, “I love you too.” She goes down the servant’s corridor by herself and now is getting the action movie treatment. She’s ripping off parts of her skirt. You see her converse walking shoes. She’s the coolest person who’s in the movie.

Laci (01:05:34):

The way they’re framing it is you’re going to think this is so badass later, guys. This is her outfit.

Matt (01:05:39):

And it works on me.

Laci (01:05:41):

Matt, we know.

Matt (01:05:43):

I’m saying in an action hero since she’s like John McLean. But I love that she takes a door out of the servant’s corridor and just immediately runs into the family.

Laci (01:05:51):

Well, because they’re building it up. We’re seeing how inept the family is. They already accidentally killed their favorite au pair and now we’re busying ourselves with the two most capable people probably carrying someone over to the bowling alley or whatever the fuck they’re doing. We don’t know what the fuck we’re doing. We’re not prepared for this. She wasn’t supposed to pull that card. And now this house seems kind of like a pain in the ass. It’s so big. How would we ever find her? And it’s just funny that she’s just like, she’s right there. It’s good. It’s good gag.

Matt (01:06:21):

Well, and like The Purge, it’s like this house is so obscenely big that yeah, you can totally get lost in it and hide in it forever.

Laci (01:06:27):

Or not.

Matt (01:06:28):

And so yeah, it just runs right into them. And so Emily, the failed daughter, tries to shoot her with a bow and arrow, but misses. And then she’s like, “Why can’t I do anything right?” And Grace runs away, runs into the billiards room where Daniel, Adam Brody is. And he’s like, “Fuck, I don’t want to have to kill you, but I’m going to have to, I guess. I’ll call the others. You have a 10 second head start.” And so he gives her a 10 second head start and then he calls in everybody and his wife comes in

Laci (01:06:58):

And

Matt (01:06:58):

She’s like, “You make me sick, Daniel. Fucking sick. You let her go, you piece of vermin.”

Laci (01:07:04):

We’re going to lose all this. I’m back to the fucking square one with this. My whole bloodline is going, “What are we upset about people? We’re all dying. Who cares? This is not that big of a deal. If my kid’s going to explode right when I do, neat.”

Matt (01:07:19):

Well, but what if you go to hell?

Laci (01:07:22):

Mr. LaBales, he’s a family friend. It’ll be so chill.

Matt (01:07:26):

No, they’re hailing Satan. Although if you hail Satan, you probably want to go to hell.

Laci (01:07:31):

Right. And it’s like Mar-a-Lago.

Matt (01:07:34):

Your contention is always like, yeah, if the world’s going to blip out of existence, fine. I don’t care.

Laci (01:07:38):

Let’s blip, baby.

Matt (01:07:39):

No skin off my ass.

Laci (01:07:40):

We’re all going to the second place together.

Matt (01:07:43):

Well, no, but you –

Laci (01:07:44):

Or to no place.

Matt (01:07:45):

You have the luxury of being an atheist where – Yes, I do. When you die, nothing. There’s just nothing. But if there was something –

Laci (01:07:53):

Right. Then we’re all there too, dummy.

Matt (01:07:55):

No, you didn’t follow the right rules and maybe someone else did.

Laci (01:07:58):

Yeah. But if I were as a Christian, I would still believe in the way of like, yeah, but there is no pain. So whatever the fuck happens is fine.

Matt (01:08:08):

But you’re not.

Laci (01:08:12):

My first point was shut up Matt.

Matt (01:08:14):

You might be wrong.

Laci (01:08:15):

When you listen back to this, you’re going to feel so stupid. So stupid.

Matt (01:08:19):

I always do. Emily, my favorite character in the movie. All the family gathers in the billiards room and she’s like, “I forgot my gun. Why does everything bad happen to me? God.” And then her husband, who’s struggling with his crossbow, he’s like, “Well, why don’t you take my crossbow, honey?” And she picks it up and she’s like, “Huh?” And then immediately shoots another servant in the face.

Laci (01:08:41):

You know who he reminds me of here? It reminds me of the interior designer in Beetlejuice.

Matt (01:08:46):

Otho?

Laci (01:08:47):

Yeah.

Matt (01:08:47):

Yeah, kind of.

Laci (01:08:48):

No, you can’t say that.

Matt (01:08:51):

What?

Laci (01:08:52):

I think he does, so it’s not kind of for me. For me, it’s for real. He’s just like him.

Matt (01:08:57):

Oh, and for me, he kind of reminds me of that.

Laci (01:08:59):

Oh, okay. Now we’ve clarified.

Matt (01:09:00):

Yeah. Good. Sorry. So let’s turn on the security cameras. Great-grandfather would approve. Yeah, he would. Let’s turn on the security cameras.

Laci (01:09:09):

Yeah, he had someone else catch that tiger. He cheats.

Matt (01:09:13):

No, of course. Yeah. And Grace pulls this big hunting rifle and enormous belt of rounds off the shelf, puts it around herself. The camera knows how iconic this is. And meanwhile, Alex destroys all the security cameras, so they won’t be able to use security cameras to find her. Then we get this thing in the kitchen. What happens in the kitchen with the butler?

Laci (01:09:31):

Well, she doesn’t expect him to be there, but she’s instructed to go out the kitchen door, so she still needs to get to that door. She can’t just leave. And so she already knows that whatever she thought was in the gun wasn’t in the gun. So now she knows she needs to quietly load the gun while he’s so cripply and sadly orchestrating himself, singing a classical music, eating a grape.

Matt (01:09:56):

And he’s such a big classical music fan that his favorite song is –

Laci (01:10:01):

Right. The song we all… He heard it on a fucking battery commercial once and he’s like, “That’s my shit.” What a sad sack this one is. They don’t even like him. He’s working so hard for this family. They don’t even like him.

Matt (01:10:14):

What is his name? Stevens?

Laci (01:10:15):

Yes.

Matt (01:10:17):

So she pulls the gun on him and he’s like, “Those bullets aren’t real. You think we put real bullets on the-“

Laci (01:10:23):

They would’ve been funnier if you’ve been like, “We would’ve never given bullets to grandpa. Are you fucking crazy?”

Matt (01:10:28):

But she gets the better of him. She smashes a teapot in his face. A lot of smashing of objects into people’s faces.

Laci (01:10:33):

But with scalding water. So she just burns all over his face, which is the worst way to get hurt. People don’t get burned.

Matt (01:10:39):

And there’s the really cool dumbwaiter kill where there’s another servant who’s hiding in the dumbwaiter.

Laci (01:10:44):

And she’s like, “She’s over here. She’s over here.” And then Grace accidentally kills her. I like that Grace gets her hands dirty pretty fast because it’s like we need to kill some shit. She kills an innocent first, but she’s not innocent. She was playing their game.

Matt (01:10:59):

Well, right. Everyone feels like, “My best chance to get out of here is like, I got to find some allies, but no, fuck that. I’ll look out for myself.”

Laci (01:11:06):

I di become a satanic au pair for me to stop being one right now, sister.

Matt (01:11:11):

So everybody gets together and the butler’s like, “She got away. She smashed a teapot of scalding water in my face.” The dad’s kind of freaking out. And Andie McDowell’s like, “All right, everybody. We need to be deliberate. Let’s make a plan, a plan of action.” And Angeline is like, “You know who really needs to solve all of this is Alex. He needs to take his place as the head of this family for some reason.” And they have handcuffed Alex to a bed.

Laci (01:11:38):

He’s been working on sawing that cuff off the bed for a long time. Yes. I can’t remember the first time I watched it if I was buying… It’s just so obvious that the brother is the actual, the star of the movie, not Alex. So you’re like, “I already understand my allegiance probably shouldn’t be with his husband or with anyone but Grace, but it’s definitely not with Alex.” But he’s still trying to talk himself into being a good guy rightnow.

Matt (01:12:10):

Yeah, yeah. And so every time we check in on him, he’s just trying to saw through his little bad pose.

Laci (01:12:14):

I’m so sad.

Matt (01:12:15):

This is not okay. This is not who we are.

Laci (01:12:18):

You guys stop it.

Matt (01:12:20):

Aunt Helene believes very much that Alex needs to do this because she’s the one whose husband died and she realizes I should have killed him myself.

Laci (01:12:30):

Right. Alex still has a chance. The rest of my life was bad because I failed Mr. LaBelle by not wanting to play his game. Seems like she has a bad life. She seems like she wants to have some sort of redemption arc, so it’s nice of her to care about Alex that way.

Matt (01:12:48):

Fitch, the idiot brother-in-law is standing in front of a window and he’s just on his phone and Google’s like, “Packed with the devil. Real or bullshit?”

Laci (01:12:54):

Right. But he’s also YouTubing how to use a crossbow because as soon as they hand it to him, he’s like, “Why? Why is this mine?”

Matt (01:13:01):

And in the background, we just see Samara weaving just fall from a higher level.

Laci (01:13:07):

The text message is literally like, “What’s up, dog?” And he’s like…

Matt (01:13:11):

Fuck it, idiot.

Laci (01:13:12):

Classic.

Matt (01:13:13):

Good. Nothing much. Family shit. Family

Laci (01:13:15):

Shit.

Matt (01:13:16):

And so she’s now outside. She sprints to the barn or the staples where they have a lot of goats. Why would they have goats and not beautiful equine beasts of beauty? No, they got goats. So she’s hiding and then little Georgie comes in and she’s like, “Georgie, finally, a little ally I can protect.”

Laci (01:13:35):

No, you must be scared. Normal child. Not a corrupt child already spoiled by capitalism and fucked up parents. Come to me, you little dick.

Matt (01:13:43):

Yeah, shoots her through the –

Laci (01:13:45):

He’s just raring to be part of the adult club now. He is definitely a little Prince Charles little fucking spawn of Satan.

Matt (01:13:53):

Wants to do it so badly, shoots a hole through her hand. And the first time I was watching this movie,

Laci (01:13:57):

Can I kill a prostitute? Mommy, when?

Matt (01:13:59):

The first time I was watching this movie, I was into this movie, but when she then punches this child in the face, that’s when I was like, “Okay, I like this movie.” She punches that kid and is like, “Whoa, fuck her.”

Laci (01:14:14):

Well, and then it’s interesting because this, it feels like a climax moment when she falls into the goat pit, because it’s so disgusting. You can smell it, you could feel it. Her acting is perfect in this. She’s having such a hard time getting out. She only has one hand and then she puts her hand on the fucking nail. This whole thing is like, where is this movie going if this is what we’re doing right now?

Matt (01:14:39):

Gets out of this barn, runs for the fences, and the people inside are like, “She’s going for the fence. Let’s get her. She’s headed to the north gate.”

Laci (01:14:46):

I feel like these guys got double fences. I feel like she’s out of the fence and then she’s still in it.

Matt (01:14:53):

Yeah, just escaped to another layer.

Laci (01:14:54):

She’s another rich asshole that’s in the neighborhood, but still in the gated community.

Matt (01:14:58):

Well, the thing that I like that this movie does is attention to the detail of just the little ways you get injured. She goes through the fence and it cuts the shit out of her as she gets through the fence.

Laci (01:15:07):

Well, they’re showing her determination because no, they show you how deep that cut’s like a half inch deep.

Matt (01:15:12):

Yeah.

Laci (01:15:13):

And she has to make the choice to just keep going through the fence and do it again to the other side. That is very effective. I don’t know if that’s a little detail. That’s a fucking crazy movie.

Matt (01:15:24):

A little in that it’s not like this affects –

Laci (01:15:30):

It’s economic filmmaking, right? Because it shows you so much about her and about how she’s feeling about the moment and what she’ll do to get out of the circumstance by showing you that.

Matt (01:15:41):

And makes you feel what she is feeling. So maybe a lesser movie would be like, “And then she climbs over the fence or then she goes through the fence.”

Laci (01:15:49):

Right.

Matt (01:15:50):

Oh, going through the fence is the worst thing to happen to her so far.

Laci (01:15:54):

Right.

Matt (01:15:54):

Makes it to the other side, some guy in a Maserati rides by and she’s like, “Help.” And he’s like, “Fucking asshole, get out of the street.”

Laci (01:16:02):

People fucking suck it.

Matt (01:16:04):

But no, I wouldn’t fucking stop. Some maniac in a bloody wedding dress is screaming at me. Run the fuck away. Back in the house, the dad’s like, “This is not good, people. If she lives till dawn, we’re all going to die. You don’t fuck Mr. LaBelle. Mr. LaBelle fucks you.”

Laci (01:16:25):

But the butler doesn’t die. The au pairs wouldn’t, right? They’re not on the bloodline, so I guess they just literally like, “Well, I’m not going to find another satanic family. I will not fit in at a regular family. I can’t go buttle somewhere else. I need to get this for these guys. I don’t want them to die. I want my job.”

Matt (01:16:42):

They’re good at their job. There are people who… I once asked you, “What do you think people will do crazier shit for, their job or their kids?” And I think it is their job. I think it is just –

Laci (01:16:55):

Yeah, because the kids are gotten easily for most people, and sometimes they don’t even want them.

Matt (01:17:01):

Like that time you had to open up 10 million cigarettes in a night for your boss.

Laci (01:17:05):

Right.

Matt (01:17:06):

And you’re like, “I think I have lung cancer now, but we got a –

Laci (01:17:09):

We definitely have blisters.

Matt (01:17:10):

We got a solid verdict on the jury trial.”

Laci (01:17:13):

And then the widow asks if she can keep one of the garbage bags full of cigarettes. It’s like, “We were using that to prove how much cigarettes your husband who died smoked in his lifetime.” She’s just like, “I’ll just…” She drags it off. She was tiny.

Matt (01:17:28):

This is his fucking miracle on 34th Street stunt they did with Santa sack full of cigarettes. Look at how much smoking.

Laci (01:17:35):

A clear sack too. She’ll be taking those.

Matt (01:17:39):

And Laci was making $5.15 an hour had to stay up all night in a hotel room to –

Laci (01:17:43):

A bailiff took the other one. They didn’t go to waste. Happy days.

Matt (01:17:47):

That’s good.

Laci (01:17:49):

And they were like American spirit or something.

Matt (01:17:52):

Annie McDowell tells her two failed children, she’s like, “You two get the fuck out of the way, okay? Go put the maids in the goat pit and pumpkin, try not to kill anyone else.” So they’re out in the barn. Adam Brody is moping because he’s like, “Oh, we’re such a bad family and we’re bad people. We deserve to die.” And

Laci (01:18:12):

Just for a moment, the sister makes him a little conflicted when she’s like, “My children don’t deserve to die.” And you can see on his face, and then the fucking little asshole pops up and he’s like, “I raped her and I threw in a goat pit.”

Matt (01:18:24):

Yes, yes. See, this is –

Laci (01:18:26):

Yes. No, you’re a piece of shit child. You are already ruined.

Matt (01:18:30):

Those are the things that make me really, really love this movie is like, “Of course these kids deserve to die. Of course they’re going to be the fucking –

Laci (01:18:37):

As soon as they give you that little moment of like because you’re going through his eyes of it, you instantly see like,” No, bitch. No, no, no. Nature, nurture, nurture, nurture. Kid’s fucked.

Matt (01:18:49):

You think Baron Trump’s a nice little innocent child playing his Game Boy? Ooh, he’s not playing Game Boy. He’s playing DroneStrike.

Laci (01:18:55):

“You know what kind of fucking foster child that kid would be? Like the fucking good son. Elijah Wood. No, not Elijah Wood. The other one, he’d be in Bully Kilken. He would push the kid out the tree.

Matt (01:19:04):

I got to see this good son. And I always get it confused with Problem Child. I’m like,” Which one’s a horror one and which one’s like a sweet family film?

Laci (01:19:12):

“Problem Child’s Sweet.

Matt (01:19:14):

Sweet. Okay. I though the good son. I think he’s a good son. I figured it’s a sweet movie. Oh, what a good son.

Laci (01:19:19):

It’s a joke.

Matt (01:19:21):

My kids don’t. But yeah, Caesar Little Georgie. So the butler eventually captures Grace. There’s some back and forth. She gets the better of him, escapes in the car and then hits the trip safe button. Call the cops. “Ooh, ma’am, sorry. This car’s been reported stolen. I’m going to have to shut down the car. Is there anything else I can help you with? I’m so sorry.”

Laci (01:19:40):

Yeah, but I like that she’s a little bit mean to him and he’s just like, “God.”

Matt (01:19:44):

There’s no need for profanity, ma’am.

Laci (01:19:45):

You have to be such a bitch. I’m just doing my fucking job.

Matt (01:19:48):

And the scary butler comes, shoots her with a tranquilizer dart or whatever, and she’s getting all woozy and hallucinates that Alex is in the car with her. He’s like, “It’s all going to be okay, babe. I love you so much, babe.” But then he’s wearing the scary plague mask because he is just a member of his family. She knows it, even if she’s not ready to admit it.

Laci (01:20:07):

Because by now she’s already heard the talking outside of the door, the window… Before she gets to the goats, she’s outside of a window hearing about how Aunt Helene thinks he’s the real leader. It doesn’t take much to suade her like, “Well, Aunt Helene seems to know him better than me.”

Matt (01:20:29):

And the butler is once again celebrating. He’s a huge classical music enthusiast. He knows everything about classical music.

Laci (01:20:35):

And he’s on a FaceTime with all of them. They’re all just on the…

Matt (01:20:39):

And he’s like, “I won’t end the call. I’m just going to celebrate.” But she comes back to life and kicks the shit out of him, causes the car to overturn. But then Adam Brody’s the one who gets her. And you’re like, “I though he was going to help her.” No, he doesn’t help her. He brings her in, butts her with a gun.

Laci (01:20:59):

Well, but he also knew his dad was there, right? So his dad pops out because he’s saying things you don’t expect him to say. You’re like, “Well, Brody, I though we knew each other. Brosev, Broham, what’s going on?” And then he’s like, “You can come out now.” And he’s like, “You knew I was here. I’m drunk. I’m not deaf.” So we still don’t know.

Matt (01:21:19):

Well, yeah.

Laci (01:21:20):

And his plan is to poison all of them anyway, so it doesn’t matter that he’s bringing… He was going to either help her there or help her later and he helped her later.

Matt (01:21:28):

Okay. Yeah. I didn’t know at what point he formulated his plan to end up intervening on her behalf. He does say to her, “I’m not the good guy you think I am. If anybody was going to save you, it was going to be Alex. I’m the bad son. He’s the good son, like that sweet movie.”

Laci (01:21:43):

The problem child. Right.

Matt (01:21:45):

And so they bring her into the house. We check in with Alex once again, handcuffed to a bed. His mom, Andie McDowell comes in.

Laci (01:21:54):

This man can’t survive a bed. You know what his wife’s been through tonight? He’s so upset about the bed.

Matt (01:21:59):

She just made him –

Laci (01:22:00):

It hurts. You made him too tight.

Matt (01:22:05):

I mean, there certainly is the element of this movie and the sequel of, well, they just grew up in tougher conditions and just have a little bit more resiliency than you all do.

Laci (01:22:14):

That’s what the entire premise of us is. Every single part of it is just like who has a little bit more grit, a little bit more skills in this, a little bit more fear or understanding of what it’s like to not have all of it given to you.

Matt (01:22:31):

So Andie McDowell’s like, “Look, I like Grace. You think I want Grace to die?” “No, I love her, but we got to protect this family. I love her every inch of her. “It is I think a notable sort of inversion of most horror movies are about we have to protect our family. And in this case, protecting our family means doing the evil thing. And you can justify anything by saying,” I’m protecting my family. I’m protecting my children.

Laci (01:23:01):

“Right. It’s all just about what is the innate selfishness of a person and a family’s just an extension of you because your family just serves to keep you safe.

Matt (01:23:11):

Yeah. And he’s like,” No, I don’t buy that. If she dies tonight –

Laci (01:23:16):

I don’t buy that, only they’d look closer.

Matt (01:23:21):

Oh, it’s beautiful. Thank you. So if she dies, I’ll kill you. Lastpose, I’m dead either way. “And she says,” Well, Alex, baby, why did you leave us? Why did you leave this family?

Laci (01:23:35):

“We’re having such a good time. Look at what we’re doing now.

Matt (01:23:38):

And he’s like,” Well, you know, one night while I was chanting and slicing the throat of a goat, it occurred to me this isn’t a normal thing to… This is not normal, mom. “And he did the claps and everything. And she’s like,” But the thing is, it did feel normal.

Laci (01:23:53):

“And my dick was like,” This is normal.

Matt (01:23:56):

“I realized right then, you’ll think anything’s normal if your family tells you it’s okay, but then I met Grace and she’s the opposite of all of you.

Laci (01:24:06):

I did a Prince in the Popper. I jumped over the stone wall and I put on Mickey’s clothes and I met a Grace.

Matt (01:24:13):

And I learned something.

Laci (01:24:14):

And then I brought that bitch right back over here.

Matt (01:24:16):

Yeah, you think you missed the point of that.

Laci (01:24:18):

Right. Yeah. No, you’re supposed to stay.

Matt (01:24:20):

But mom, if it comes down to her versus you, I choose her. And her mom’s like,” I don’t think that’s true.

Laci (01:24:27):

“And this is again where they indicate you think that she can know you for 18 months. I’ve known you your whole life. I know what a bad little seven-year-old you are.

Matt (01:24:38):

What was he

Laci (01:24:39):

Doing? What was he like in high school? He was a horrible debate, bro. You know it. He was always killing cheerleaders on accident. What is she insinuating?

Matt (01:24:48):

Oh, good question.

Laci (01:24:49):

Do you think she knows the will?

Matt (01:24:51):

Or is she just talking about him like how my mom says I was bad in eighth grade where I just didn’t do my homework sometimes and had to get before school detention? You were such a bad kid.

Laci (01:25:00):

That’s what you’re like now. Exactly what you’re like now. So yeah, she did know you better.

Matt (01:25:05):

I guess that’s true. Yeah. I don’t always do my homework.

Laci (01:25:08):

Never. You’re always switching families like schools.

Matt (01:25:15):

I’m one of those people who still has nightmares about being in college and being like, oh fuck, I haven’t gone to this class all semester. And so yeah,

Laci (01:25:22):

I

Matt (01:25:22):

Still

Laci (01:25:22):

Have it about high school.

Matt (01:25:23):

Whatever it is that I’m not doing, I still feel that way. Oh fuck, I haven’t… I don’t know. There’s whatever I’ve neglected. I’m not a good student is what I’m saying. That’s the point of all of this. All right. They’re preparing for the ritual and Andie McDowell is explaining to the grandkids everything we have in this life. We own to Mr. LaBayle and Grace wakes up tied to a pentagram table. Everyone’s wearing ropes. They’re chanting satanic verses. They’re drinking blood. It’s really cool. It’s really fun. Love the movie with satanic devil worshiping rich people. It’s always rich people. You’re never getting –

Laci (01:25:55):

There are no poor Satan worshipers. No, no, no.

Matt (01:25:57):

I know. And right before the dad’s going to plunge in the knife, he’s going to quote Rosemary’s baby and say, “Hail, Shayton,” but he can only get out hail. Then he starts barfing and everyone else does too. What the heck? It’s because Adam Brody has poisoned them all with Drano or whatever. And he uncuffs Grace and he’s taking her away. She’s like, “Did you just kill your family?” And he’s like, “No, I looked it up. They’re going to have some weird shits for a week, but they’ll be fine.” She’s like, “I knew you were a good person, Daniel. I knew you were the good son and not a problem child.” But then Daniel’s wife comes in and shoots him with a gun, shoots her husband dead.

Laci (01:26:32):

Dies a gargly death.

Matt (01:26:33):

Like a dog.

Laci (01:26:34):

But Alex… It’s not totally clear. Alex has probably already turned, but we’re not sure. But Alex comes in after all of the stuff happens and just finds his brother dying, that’s his most important person to him, is the brother. He protected him and now he’s watching him die. And it makes the most sense for him to think Grace did that, right? And then he walks in after she brutally kills his mother, who is his second favorite. So to be fair, Alex is walking in on just a destruction trail that he thinks Grace is orchestrating.

Matt (01:27:06):

I think he was always going to turn. I think it was always, but it was like –

Laci (01:27:10):

I don’t think you saw the bed in the afternoon.

Matt (01:27:12):

He’s trying to find the tightrope he could walk. How can I please both sides?

Laci (01:27:16):

You don’t sprint out of that bedroom being so excited that you got freed. Looking for what? To kill your bride? There’s no way he’s that excited. He had to get more incensed by his brother and then his mom, because he still though he was going to go help her.

Matt (01:27:34):

It’s true. And the reason he said the thing earlier, “Mom, if it comes down to her versus you, I choose her. I’ll kill you.” And that was a lie. And he realizes when he sees his bride killing his mom –

Laci (01:27:47):

But really, he’s still hurt by his brother and even tells Grace, and Grace doesn’t correct him like, “I didn’t do that,” or anything. He didn’t say, “You killed him,” but she’s just like, “Yeah, he’s dead.”

Matt (01:27:57):

So as Grace is beating Andie McDowell to death with a limited configuration, he’s like, “That’s my mommy, you asshole. Don’t do that.” She’s like, “Alex, oh my God, you escaped the bedroom. How did you ever do that?” That

Laci (01:28:10):

Must have been so hard with only one au pair.

Matt (01:28:14):

And what he says is like, “You’re going to break up with me after this, aren’t you God?” And so that’s when he starts squashing her face and screams, “She’s in here, everybody. Come and get her.” So they all come in and they’re like, “Oh no, Andie McDowell’s dead. This is a bad night on balance, all things considered. It’s time for the boy.”

Laci (01:28:35):

Easter’s going to be weird.

Matt (01:28:36):

“To take his place at the head of this family.” And so they hold Grace down on the table for Alex to knife her, and they’re all very excited. The kids are like, “Oh, this fucking rules. Hail Satan.”

Laci (01:28:46):

We’re finally at the adult table, y’all.

Matt (01:28:51):

But Grace smear weaving twists and –

Laci (01:28:54):

She weaves.

Matt (01:28:55):

She weaves. Yes, exactly. She weaves. And the blade ends up in her shoulder. She’s suffering in this movie.

Laci (01:29:03):

She’s going through it.

Matt (01:29:04):

And she starts bleeding like a goat, bleating like a goat.

Laci (01:29:08):

Oh yes, yes.

Matt (01:29:09):

And I’ll play the sound again here. It’s wonderful.

Laci (01:29:11):

Yes. It’s the thing that I was saying, right?

Matt (01:29:12):

Yeah.

Laci (01:29:13):

Yeah.

Matt (01:29:13):

And I already edited the first part of the episode and I put that sound clip in because it is an incredible sound that she makes.

Laci (01:29:18):

It is.

Matt (01:29:18):

Yes. And then the sun is coming in and they’re like, “No, the sun.” And they all strike vampire poses and then nothing happens.

Laci (01:29:27):

They think it’s dust. They think it’s ash. They think it’s so neat and tidy. It’s not just the messiest things about to happen to you. I wish poop came out too. I agree.

Matt (01:29:37):

I agree.

Laci (01:29:37):

Something so in the impropriety, something so distasteful. They’re all just shit, blood, and guts and pee.

Matt (01:29:47):

And gum. Yeah. Laci.

Laci (01:29:49):

It’s not just come in you right now.

Matt (01:29:51):

No, the other things too. But it is funny to think about if you could see inside somebody, you know what’s in you is poop. Also bile.

Laci (01:30:01):

You’re gross.

Matt (01:30:02):

That’s gross. Yeah.

Laci (01:30:03):

Boogers.

Matt (01:30:04):

Oh my God, you explode in boogers.

Laci (01:30:06):

Ear wax. Who gets the shrapnel of the ear wax? They’re going down.

Matt (01:30:10):

As we said in our Hellraiser episode, if you start to think about your body, you’ll have a panic attack. Body sucks.

Laci (01:30:15):

I don’t understand how anyone could be a nurse or a doctor. How?

Matt (01:30:18):

On the other hand –

Laci (01:30:19):

How?

Matt (01:30:19):

But on the other hand –

Laci (01:30:20):

No. While I was at the doctor earlier, I kept thinking about how I can’t believe I ever used this for sex because they just don’t… It’s just because – The boob doctor.

Matt (01:30:28):

You were at the boob doctor.

Laci (01:30:30):

They just make you feel like a piece of… It’s not their fault. Having a baby, maybe they feel this way too. My body is just organs to move around so I can take pictures of it and move people out of it. And it’s just in the way. Get your boob out of the way and put your boob over here and I put the thing on the… I’m so in the way. You don’t feel like a person.

Matt (01:30:51):

No. And I was at physical therapy this morning and they’re like, “All right, now put your chin back.” And I’m like, “I’m sorry, what?”

Laci (01:30:57):

I come back from the most intense mammogram ever.

Matt (01:30:58):

The chin back?

Laci (01:31:01):

I come back.

Matt (01:31:02):

It’s the same thing.

Laci (01:31:03):

From the most intense mammogram ever. And you’re like, “It’s like my skin cancer.” And you got a little dot and you’re like, “I was in a bedroom all night, Grace.”

Matt (01:31:13):

We all went through some stuff. Okay? Jesus. So I like how long this goes on where they’re like, “Oh, oh, there is no curse.”

Laci (01:31:22):

And you got to think that’s part of the torture, right? Fuck with them just a little bit more. Get a little bit of hope, a little bit of shame, a little bit of fuck, what if we did this for nothing?

Matt (01:31:29):

But Henry Serney’s face is so funny because he is starting to realize that and he’s kind of just like, “Well, this is an L. Oh, God damn. Sorry. Oh, did we really have to do that?” But Angeline’s like, “No, I don’t care. I’m killing the fucking bitch anyway.” And she charges at Grace and then she explodes and gets a blood and boogers. And then the gramophone comes on and plays the hide and seek song and one by one they all explode, including the kids.

Laci (01:31:55):

It’s interesting, they do it off screen.

Matt (01:31:56):

They do it off screen, but you do get to see individual blood splatter. So you know those kids fucking exploded. Yeah. I will deduct a star from this movie for not getting to see the kids explode. And Henry Serney’s really, he’s like, “I played by the rules. God damn it, this isn’t fair.”

Laci (01:32:13):

Yeah, but you lost the game. You lost the game.

Matt (01:32:17):

He also didn’t play by the rules.

Laci (01:32:18):

Yeah, you’re not doing it at the fucking shrine.

Matt (01:32:21):

And weaving is so good right here. She’s laughing and snorting. Again, the rules of the universe, I guess I got to worship Satan now, but also this is pretty funny because I fucking hate you guys and you’re just exploding and I can see your boogers. Alex is the last one left and he’s crying. He’s like, “Babe, I’m so sorry, babe. You’ll make me better. You make me want to be a better me.”

Laci (01:32:43):

I’m not disappearing. I’m still here.

Matt (01:32:44):

But she takes off her wedding ring and throws it at him and says, “I want a divorce.”

Laci (01:32:48):

And it goes right through him.

Matt (01:32:50):

Like total recall. Consider that the divorce and then he explodes. So yeah, I love all this so much. I also think I would’ve equally liked like, “Oh shit, there was no curse. Fuck.”

Laci (01:33:03):

Right. But then they get off anyway because they’re rich,

Matt (01:33:05):

Right?

Laci (01:33:07):

Tail. She’s ruined forever.

Matt (01:33:10):

But she sees the image of Mr. LaBelle briefly because she toasted him. And so she’s –

Laci (01:33:16):

My lady.

Matt (01:33:17):

She sees that and she’s like, “Fuck.”

Laci (01:33:20):

Now that’s my friend. I know what that feels like. I accidentally made friends once with someone really hype in the government. Remember? Don’t say too much, but that happened and I was like –

Matt (01:33:30):

Yeah, John Podesta.

Laci (01:33:31):

Oh no. No. Shut up.

Matt (01:33:33):

No, but Laci is always accidentally making friends. Oh, I made too much eye contact.

Laci (01:33:37):

And then I got a favor that I felt really guilty about getting over the rest of the city. And don’t say it. Anyway, after that I was like – I don’t believe that that’s true. After that I was like, what do I owe now?

Matt (01:33:49):

It’s weird not to say what you’re talking about.

Laci (01:33:52):

Because it’s not that big of a deal, but it’s very specific. So I don’t want the person to feel some kind of way.

Matt (01:33:57):

You have $300,000 in tax debt wiped out with a key stroke.

Laci (01:34:01):

No, this is very low stakes what happened, but it did make me feel the power of his position.

Matt (01:34:07):

And you went, “Fuck.”

Laci (01:34:08):

Yeah. I went, “I don’t want to over favor to that guy.”

Matt (01:34:11):

So she goes outside walking like a damn action hero, strutting out of the house as the house goes up in flames and she sits down and lights a cigarette and a cop arrives and he’s like, “Ma’am, what happened to you?”

Laci (01:34:26):

Dumbest line of the entire movie.

Matt (01:34:27):

What?

Laci (01:34:28):

In-laws.

Matt (01:34:30):

That’s funny.

Laci (01:34:30):

It’s not funny.

Matt (01:34:34):

It’s like a punk rock version of that song.

Laci (01:34:36):

I’m so glad you had a good time, love.

Matt (01:34:38):

All right, well what the fuck?

Laci (01:34:39):

I am not God.

Matt (01:34:40):

Yeah, you sound it.

Laci (01:34:41):

I only have one sound right now and it’s this.

Matt (01:35:02):

Ready or not?

Laci (01:35:05):

Gee, what’s Mac going to give it? I can’t imagine.

Matt (01:35:07):

It’s because I don’t do three and a half stars anymore. I’m going to bump it up to four stars. I think it’s a blast. I think I didn’t enjoy it as much the second time as I did the first time.

Laci (01:35:18):

I don’t know that I’m conflicted on your criteria for this.

Matt (01:35:23):

There are movies we do where I take the notes and I start to realize, all right, this script is kind of just running around in circles. When you realize there’s a lot of, well, okay, so then she gets better at him, but then he gets better at her, then he gets better at her. Then you go into this room and this room. And maybe I was just being too clinical about it as I watched it this time.

Laci (01:35:40):

Well, it’s also a lower budget movie, right? It’s not super big budgets. They’re only in that house.

Matt (01:35:45):

Sure.

Laci (01:35:47):

I think it’s a economical way of spending your dollars, that Andie McDowell cash. I just don’t think a movie owes you a wow experience the second time. I think it owes it to you the first time. Nope, you’re wrong.

Matt (01:36:01):

Oh.

Laci (01:36:02):

I like rewatchability very much.

Matt (01:36:04):

Four stars for me. What do you give it?

Laci (01:36:06):

Four and a half, probably.

Matt (01:36:08):

So all that bickering over one half star.

Laci (01:36:10):

I though you were going to give it a five. I thout you were going to give a five. I didn’t know you were going four. I thought you’re gushing the whole fucking time. What does something need to do to you for it to give it a five? You’re still fucking Siskel over there. I don’t know about my thumb.

Matt (01:36:22):

I don’t know about my thumb. I don’t know what to tell you.

Laci (01:36:24):

You think your opinion matters or something, so you got to keep it real pristine.

Matt (01:36:27):

I don’t think shit. I don’t think our opinion matters at all.

Laci (01:36:30):

You are giving this fun horror movie a five, even though you had a five star experience.

Matt (01:36:34):

I did not have a five star experience. Full of shit. Let’s rank the movies we covered this month. I’m going to go number one, it follows number two, Ready or Not Number three Us. Over Us. Number three, Us. Number four, The Purge. I like Us a lot. Us diminished for me. It’s a really good movie.

Laci (01:36:52):

Us, Ready or Not.

Matt (01:36:54):

It follows.

Laci (01:36:55):

It follows in The Purge.

Matt (01:36:56):

All right. What are we doing next week? Well –

Laci (01:37:00):

Muriel’s Wedding.

Matt (01:37:01):

We’re doing Muriel’s Wedding. I don’t know anything about –

Laci (01:37:03):

You make a slide. It’s got a very famous, wonderful actress in it that I know the name of.

Matt (01:37:08):

Tony Collette.

Laci (01:37:09):

That’s it.

Matt (01:37:09):

And directed by the man who then directed My Best Friend’s Wedding, a great movie.

Laci (01:37:12):

Such a good fucking movie. Mural’s Wedding is The Tits.

Matt (01:37:17):

I look forward to seeing a movie that is The Tits. See what those Aussies do when they get married.

Laci (01:37:22):

We already know how you feel about this Aussie, right? Weaving.

Matt (01:37:26):

She’s really cool.

Laci (01:37:27):

Right. So that’s…

Matt (01:37:30):

Lazy even gets jealous of fucking… If I say that one of my favorite bands is a woman band and she gets jealous of that.

Laci (01:37:40):

Well, but what does it mean that I get jealous? I just say a comment.

Matt (01:37:43):

Yeah, I know.

Laci (01:37:44):

Is there any other repercussion? Take away your food bowl.

Matt (01:37:47):

No, I know. And you fall asleep watching male YouTubers every night and I do make a fucking biscuits fucking…

Laci (01:37:52):

What is he funny? Well, do you have a YouTube channel?

Matt (01:37:56):

We have a YouTube channel and if you’ watching it, thank you. And if you’re listening, thank you. And like both of those versions of the show that you can enjoy. We have social media. We have Twitter. You might call it X the everything app. I still call it Twitter and I always will. But Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Blue Sky, patreon.com/1weekrental. Rural route nine does the music for the show. Thank you very much.

Laci (01:38:21):

Okay, I love you. Bye.